15 signs he secretly cares about you (even if he won’t admit it)

Men, in general, are not vocal beings. Unlike us ladies, they won’t say outright that they care.

The good thing, however, is that actions always speak louder than words.

All you need to do is watch for these 16 signs that he cares for you – even though he doesn’t admit it.

1) He spends a lot of time with you

“There’s only one thing more precious than our time – and that’s who we spend it on.”

– Leo Christopher

It’s no secret that time is gold. It’s a valuable yet finite resource.

Why would you waste your time over somebody who’s not as important?

That said, you know a guy cares for you if he’s willing to spend a lot of time with you.

Whether he’s a friend – or a potential lover – this time is something he’s willing to give up for your sake.

And why not? Social support is linked to better physical and mental health, after all.

According to a report, spending time with the people you care about the most can help:

  • Lower stress levels
  • Enhance mood
  • Promote positive health behaviors (e.g., eating healthier food)
  • Improve heart health

With these benefits, there’s no reason why he won’t spend time with you (and you, with him.)

2) He feels comfortable around you

Some men can’t help but feel awkward around other people. Guys like these often:

  • Feel chronically nervous in social settings.
  • Fail to understand what they need to do socially
  • Unable to sustain small talk
  • Don’t have a lot of friends

You know a guy cares about you because he throws the social awkwardness away whenever he’s with you.

He’s never jittery around you. In fact, he feels very much at home when you’re around.

When he’s with you, he doesn’t have to guess what he needs to do socially. He knows that even if he doesn’t do anything – you’d understand.

He sucks at small talk, but when he’s with you, the conversation just goes on and on. He won’t stop unless you tell him.

In other words, a guy who feels at ease around you means he cares for you – maybe even more than usual. He doesn’t have to worry about what you need to say because he knows you understand.

3) He always listens

Men don’t always like to talk – or listen, for that matter. In fact, it’s one of the more pervasive problems amongst couples.

According to Dr. Marty Nemko, some men tend to ‘space out’ because it’ helps cut the frustration.

A guy who cares for you, on the other hand, is always ready to listen. He’s all ears –  no matter how trivial the subject might be.

He doesn’t just listen for the sake of it. He’s an active listener, meaning he gives his full attention whenever you talk.

Unsurprisingly, this active listening is what brings the most happiness to couples (and friends too!)

In her article, Dr. Dianne Grande attributed the value of listening to the “Attachment Theory”. She explained that people have the need to be heard, as this makes them feel more important to their partners.

Given the value of listening, you owe it to him to return the favor. You, too, can show that you care by listening actively to him – no matter how frivolous his thoughts might be!

4) He remembers even the littlest of things

A guy who cares will not just listen attentively – he’ll try to remember the things you say, no matter how ‘minor’ they may be.

As an active listener, he will ask you questions whenever you talk about things. It doesn’t mean that he didn’t hear you out, it’s just his way of fully understanding your point.

In most cases, active listeners will even give you a summary of what they heard. Again, this is to help him make sure that he understands you clearly.

With these active listening skills, he can easily remember the little things that you’ve said.

You’re allergic to peanuts, and he’s taken a good mental note of that. Next time he brings you anything, he’ll make sure that there are no nuts in it.

5) He’s honest

Honesty is always the BEST policy. So if a guy is 100% transparent with you, it’s a sign that he cares a lot about you.

In every relationship – be it romantic or platonic – honesty is essential.

For one, it serves as the foundation of the relationship. How would you trust him if he’s not honest with you?

If he constantly lies, you’ll find it harder to trust him – even if he’s speaking the truth,

Honesty also helps improve communication. As Elizabeth Bourgeret puts it, “Communication is the lifeline of any relationship.”

When both parties don’t hide anything, it’s easy to get things through. Misunderstandings that destabilize relationships can easily be avoided.

Honesty is also a sign of respect. As stated above, it’s another sign that he secretly cares for you.

He tells you where he goes or what he’s about to do because he doesn’t want you to worry.

That’s because he knows his honesty makes you feel more comfortable – and vice-versa. Of course, everybody wants to be in a truthful relationship!

As a bonus, this honesty makes him healthier!

According to an article, lying leads to a release of cortisol – a hormone that prepares you for a fight-or-flight response.

Sustained lying – and continued increased levels of cortisol – can be damaging in the long run. In most instances, it can lead to digestive problems – even anxiety and depression.

That said, you should be happy if your guy is honest with you. That means he cares for you a whole damn lot – even if it’s not obvious.

6) He trusts you

Like honesty, trust makes any relationship stronger. If you don’t trust the guy (and him, you), then the relationship will end up crumbling down sooner than later.

So if a guy trusts you with his life, then it’s a clear sign that he cares deeply about you.

But how do you know if he has faith in you in the first place? Well, here are several telltale signs that show how much he trusts you:

  • He’s consistent. Unlike other guys, his attitude or behavior doesn’t flip back and forth. He acts the same way he did the first time you met him.
  • He’s willing to compromise. A guy who cares for you – and trusts you – is ready to barter. He knows that it’s a matter of giving and taking that will make the relationship successful.
  • He respects your boundaries. He’ll stop doing the things he’s doing once you say no. He won’t force his thoughts or beliefs on you.
  • He’s very open with you. As mentioned above, a guy who cares for you – and trusts you – will be 100% transparent with you.

A trustworthy and caring guy is a dime a dozen – so you’re fortunate to have one in your life!

7) He respects you and your opinion

Respect is about giving due to regard to somebody’s rights, feelings, or wishes.

So if a guy cares for you, he will honor you and your beliefs. Even if your opinion doesn’t jive with his, he values it as if it were his own.

Respect goes beyond these admirable actions, though. A guy who cares for you will also show his respect through the following ways:

  • He’s kind. Whereas other guys will shun your beliefs, a caring guy will treat you with the utmost respect.
  • He pays attention to you. He respects the time you have given to him. So instead of, say, tinkering with his phone, he’ll focus 100% of his attention on you.
  • He’s very supportive. He’s behind you, no matter what it is you want to do or achieve. He doesn’t dismiss it, even if it’s the opposite of his beliefs.
  • You’re a priority. You’re not (and never will be) his second option.

That said, respect begets respect. If you care for someone, then you should respect him the way he respects you.

8) He values your hobbies and interests

A guy who cares for you will do more than just respect your interests. He’ll go above and beyond to take part in them.

For example, if you like hiking, he’ll try to tag along with you – even if he’s an indoorsy person.

Remember – men find women who are passionate about their hobbies very endearing.

For most guys, it’s something that makes their partners even more interesting.

These interests show that she’s happily living her own life. In other words, she won’t be as clingy as ladies who don’t have hobbies.

Men love being with strong, independent women.

Likewise, it shows that she cares about a lot of things.

Men can’t get enough of ladies who do a passionate show-and-tell of their interests. They find it cute whenever they show off their new project – be it a spooky cake or a crocheted sweater.

So if your guy takes a lot of interest – on well, your interests – it means he cares for you. He likes seeing you happy – and he’ll do everything to keep you that way.

9) He’s a team player

There’s no ‘I’ in the word TEAM, and rightfully so. It takes two to tango, especially when it comes to a caring relationship.

A guy who cherishes you is more or less a good team player. He has good communication and listening skills – like those mentioned above.

He understands his role and what he brings to the relationship.

He’s flexible enough to do other things – even though he’s not an expert on such things.

That said, he knows how to take responsibility. He takes accountability for all the things he does.

More importantly, he commits to his teammate – you.

Even if your guy is already a good team player, he’s always trying to better himself. He does this by:

  • Offering his help, especially when he sees you overwhelmed or confused.
  • Actively listening to you – he’s your sounding board! You can count on him to listen to you whenever you need to vent something out.
  • Respecting your decisions. He honors everything you wish to do because he cares for you.
  • Celebrating your successes. He’s happy for you as if he was the one who triumphed himself.

A caring guy knows that relationships involve a lot of teamwork. It’s not you vs. him – but you AND him.

10) He puts in a lot of effort into everything

Putting in effort doesn’t necessarily mean hosting 5-star dinners and funding lavish vacations (though they help.)

It’s the little details that count.

A man who cares for you will put in a lot of effort in everything he does. The undivided attention and active listening you receive? It requires effort, especially if he has a lot of work he needs to finish.

Guys who don’t put in the effort will not even bother to ask how your day went.

The way he encourages and believes in you? Most men don’t know how to do this. However, a guy who cares about you will go above and beyond with this.

A guy who doesn’t care, however, wouldn’t even try to feign interest. He has this ‘bored’ face that shows he’s not putting any effort into anything.

The little things – such as washing the dishes and watering your plants – may not mean much, but they should. They show that he cares about you – and his efforts are his way of demonstrating so.

11) He’s very affectionate

Everybody wants to be showered with affection. Who doesn’t like hugs or kisses from the people they care about the most?

Unfortunately, it can be challenging for some men to show affection.

This fear of intimacy is often blamed on machismo. Men don’t like to let their guard down and appear vulnerable to women.

The way men are reared plays a significant role as well. As boys, they often engaged in physical, competitive play. This has led them to shun emotional intimacy and vulnerability – which usually happens in intimate relationships.

Given these factors, it’s not surprising why some guys are very stoic.

Although this is the case, a guy who cares for you will let his guards down – even if he’s resistant to do so. He will put in all the effort needed because he’s fond of you.

While some show this through gifts and other outright expressions of love, some men may be more low-key. Their caring ways may be more subtle, such as:

  • Smiling a lot
  • Staying close to you
  • Helping you out with anything
  • Acting all chivalrous
  • Introducing you to his friends
  • Ditching a night out with friends to spend more time with you

12) He doesn’t take you for granted

Nobody likes being taken for granted – but it’s a thing that often happens. In most cases, women don’t notice the glaring signs, such as:

  • A lack of respect and effort
  • Disregard for your thoughts and opinions
  • Ignoring your advice
  • Slacking off
  • Emotional manipulation and unavailability

A guy who cares for you, however, is the complete OPPOSITE of the traits stated above.

As mentioned earlier, he respects you. He won’t slack off. Instead, he’ll put in a lot of effort, even if it’s just the little things.

He honors your thoughts and opinions. If you don’t want to do this or that, he won’t force you to do so.

Likewise, he won’t ignore your advice. He knows that you care just as well, and you don’t want him to do anything wrong.

More importantly, he won’t dare play with you or manipulate your opinions. And even if he’s not comfortable being emotionally vulnerable, he will put in some effort to be affectionate. That’s because he wants you to know that he cares about you so much.

13) He’ll protect you no matter what

Men are hardwired to be protective of women. They see themselves as tough, superhuman beings who can seemingly control the world around them.

It’s what they call the hero instinct.

Men, in general, are driven by these three things that prod them to become a ‘hero’:

  • To live a fulfilling life – and be recognized for his efforts
  • To provide for the people he treasures
  • To be respected by the people around him

As you see, guys love to be heroes to people they care about the most: you. This is why he’ll tap into this instinct when push comes to shove.

If you aren’t sure if a guy truly cares for you, then these protective ways should convince you otherwise:

  • He’ll defend you. He’ll stick up for you 100%.
  • He’s always aware of your surroundings. Times are tough – somebody might sneak up on you on this dimly-lit alley. As a protector, his eagle eyes are always on the lookout for signs of trouble.
  • He’ll try to ease your fears the best way he can. He wants you to succeed. Ge doesn’t want you to be scared of things right on the get-go.
  • He wants you to be safe. It could be a little irritating to receive countless texts saying, “Message me once you get home.” But you can’t blame him – he’s your protector, and he wants to make sure that you’re safe.
  • He’ll support you, just like your personal cheerleader. A protector is not always physical – he’ll boost you emotionally as well.

14) He won’t hesitate to make sacrifices

Relationships require sacrifice. In fact, one article has shown that those who make sacrifices – small or big – are more likely to be happier with their partners.

It’s easy to think twice about sacrificing. After all, why should you let go of something for another person?

For a man who cares, the answer is simple: “I want to support her because it’s important for her.”

He’ll wake up early to drive you to the effort, just to make sure that you get to the airport safe.

Even if he has a crucial out-of-town business, he’ll push it to next week so he can attend your art exhibit.

While it’s lovely to have a man who’ll sacrifice everything for you, there’s such a thing as balancing things. It’s unfair for him to put everything on the line – when you know for yourself that you won’t return the favor.

Sometimes, it’s a matter of ‘give and take.’ When you care for a person, you need to learn how to compromise.

15) He always includes you in his future plans

A guy who cares for you will include you in his future. It doesn’t have to be outright talks of marriage, though. More often than not, he’ll do this subtly.

For one, you’re always part of his upcoming activities. The vacation he plans on taking next summer? You’re included in it, of course.

He’ll also make it a point to include you in his day-to-day life. He’ll introduce you to his family, friends, colleagues, etc. At the same time, he’ll make an effort to present himself to your loved ones as well.

Unlike other guys, he won’t keep his partnership with you under wraps. In fact, he’s more than proud to post pictures of you on his social media accounts.

He’s also willing to share his personal space. You don’t even have to ask for it – he has a drawer ready for you to use.

More importantly, he’s open to tackling the complicated parts of the relationship.

What are the things he needs to change?

What are the things YOU need to change?

He isn’t afraid to deal with these issues simply because he wants everything to go swimmingly well in the future.

Final thoughts

It’s hard to know if a guy cares for you. However, you can easily spot the subtle or secret signs that he does.

He spends a lot of time with you and feels comfortable around you.

He’s an active listener, which is why he remembers all the things you’ve said.

He’s honest with you. He trusts you and respects you.

He’s a team player who values your hobbies and interests.

He’s very affectionate towards you because he doesn’t want to take you for granted.

He’s ingrained with the hero instinct that will make him want to protect you no matter what happens.

He’ll be more than willing to make sacrifices – just like he’s happy to include you in your future plans.

If you have this kind of guy, know that he’s a keeper! Don’t let him go!


Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

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