13 undeniable signs he loves you but is scared to fall for you

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Is your man giving you mixed signals?

You think he might love you, but for some reason, he appears hesitant about it.

When it comes to dealing with men and their complicated behavior, it can be tough to understand what they’re truly thinking.

After all, sometimes a man is cold BECAUSE they love you, and other times they’re cold BECAUSE they just don’t like you.

However, when you research and understand male psychology, it’s not as complicated as you might think.

So in this article, I thought we’d go over tried and true ways to figure out exactly how he is truly feeling.

We’ll also go over the reasons why he might be scared about falling in love with you.

We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.

1. He can’t help but stare at you

This is an obvious sign that he loves you. Guys generally do it naturally.

Whether you’re doing something boring like working on your laptop, or you’re taking out the washing to dry, he can’t help but look at you doing it.

All you have to do is glance over his way every now and then and see if you catch him looking.

If he is looking, you can bet your bottom dollar that he loves you.

Also, focus on how he looks at you when you’re having a conversation with him.

You’ll see the kind of puppy love eyes with a cute smile that naturally occurs when you start talking.

Once you see your man doing this, it’s a clear sign he is genuinely in love.

Now if he is scared about his feelings, he might quickly look away when he catches you looking. He doesn’t want you to know that he can’t help but look at you.

But if he maintains eye contact with you, then he definitely isn’t scared about his feelings and he is letting you know directly he likes you.

2. He’s ignoring you

Surely if he is ignoring you he doesn’t love you, right?

Wrong!

Sometimes a guy ignores you because he loves you, particularly if he is scared about it.

Sound confusing?

Well, some guys will go out of their way to do anything but appear desperate.

They don’t want to show that they love you because then that will give everything away.

It’s also a way to protect their ego.

If they think that you might not be interested in them, then they’ll pull back on expressing their emotions.

And the best way to do this is to ignore you.

But don’t worry, once you start showing that you’re interested, too, then he’ll come around and start expressing himself better. He won’t be scared that he is falling in love with you because he knows that you’re falling for him.

3. He remembers every little detail of what you say

We’ve all heard before men aren’t the best listeners. And to be honest, for the most part, that is probably true.

But if your man loves you, he’ll listen to everything you say. He hangs on it!

If you mention that you’re attending your sister’s friend’s birthday party, he’ll be the first to ask how it was the next day.

If he mentions that you are allergic to peanuts, then any restaurant that he chooses for you to go to, he’ll make sure peanuts aren’t on the menu.

When he’s listening unconditionally to what you’re saying, you know it’s true love.

He hangs on to your every word, and he respects what you have to say too. It comes so naturally for him, actually. He just can’t help but take note of every little thing you say.

4. He struggles to express his feelings with you

This is a clear sign that he’s falling in love with you but might be scared about those feelings.

He knows he cares for you deeply, and it’s starting to worry him.

Why would it worry him?

Because men can struggle to process and deal with strong emotions, such as love.

Men like to be in control, and his feelings for you are becoming so strong that he doesn’t know how to handle it.

If he can’t process his emotions, he won’t be able to talk about them. The best he can do is avoid talking about it.

Few people realize that male and female brains are biologically different. For instance, the limbic system is the emotional processing center of the brain and it’s much larger in the female brain than in a man’s.

That’s why women are more in touch with their emotions. And why guys can struggle to process and understand their feelings.

If you’ve ever been with an emotionally unavailable man before, blame his biology rather than him.

The thing is, to stimulate the emotional part of a man’s brain, you have to communicate with him in a way that he’ll actually understand.

And sometimes, reaching that level of understanding requires a bit more than just intuition. 

I remember feeling completely stuck trying to understand my partner’s emotional distance. I found myself constantly wondering why he was so afraid to embrace his feelings for me.

That’s when I found Rudá Iandê’s Love and Intimacy Masterclass. This free resource helped me understand the dynamics of love and emotion — not just for women, but for men as well.

Specifically, the self-exploration questionnaire that required a few minutes helped me realize what was holding him back and gave us both the tools to communicate more openly about our emotions.

If you’re grappling with an emotionally unavailable man, I’m sure this free masterclass can provide you with the insights you need to unlock a deeper level of intimacy.

Click here to access the Love and Intimacy masterclass.

5. His friends know how much he cares about you

This is a clear sign that he loves you if his friends know a huge deal about you.

Perhaps they know what your job is, how you two met, and what sport you love to play.

How could this be the case when he is scared to admit that he loves you?

Simple.

Guys find it much easier to communicate with their guy friends, and they’ll naturally share the details of someone they’re keen on.

It shows that he can’t get you off his mind.

What’s more, he’ll also invite you out with his friends so he can show you off.

6. He constantly seeks out your advice

If he is asking for your opinion on important decisions that he needs to make, it’s obvious that he trusts your guidance and might be already in love with you.

It shows that he truly cares what you think. He thinks you’re intelligent and that you actually care about giving him good advice.

This is especially the case if he is revealing details about his life when he seeks your guidance. This is a great clue that he trusts you and desperately wants to bare his soul to you.

And if he really cares what you think, it means that he really cares about you.

7. He is acting nervous around you

This goes back to the point before about ignoring you. The reason he is feeling nervous has to do with his emotions.

He is feeling something strongly and is starting to realize that he loves you.

But because of this, he’ll want to impress you at all costs.

What does this do?

It puts pressure on him to perform! He wants to make you interested in him, which will make him nervous.

He doesn’t want to lose you, and he doesn’t want you to not like him.

So how can you tell if he is nervous?

Nervous people tend to be more fidgety. He also might have trouble speaking clearly around you, which will cause him to speak less.

Another sign that someone is nervous is if they’re acting hyper or weird.

So if your man is acting a little hyper and telling weird jokes, keep in mind that he is just nervous because he likes you.

Once he starts feeling more comfortable, he’ll come around and start acting normal again.

Remember that if he loves you but is scared to admit that he loves you, this will only add to his nerves when he’s around you.

He’ll realize that he hasn’t exactly got total control over his emotions and that will make him scared, anxious, and fearful.

This will lead to even more nervous behavior that we spoke about above.

8. He wants to save the day

When you’ve had an argument with a friend, he’ll naturally take your side.

When you cross the road, he’ll put his body on the side of the traffic.

He can’t help it.

Even if he is afraid to admit that he loves you for various reasons, he won’t be able to control his actions of wanting to protect you and be your hero.

study published in the Physiology & Behavior journal shows that males’ testosterone makes them feel protective over their mate’s safety and well-being.

So naturally, if he loves you, he would want to protect you.

There’s actually a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology that’s getting a lot of buzz at the moment. It goes to the heart of the riddle about why men fall in love—and who they fall in love with.

Simply put, men want to be your everyday hero. They want to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives and provide and protect her.

This is deeply rooted in male biology.

People are calling it the hero instinct.

The kicker is that a man won’t fall in love with you when he doesn’t feel like your hero.

I know this might sound a bit silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

And I couldn’t agree more.

But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into our DNA to seek out relationships that allow us to feel like one.

If you would like to learn more about the hero instinct, check out this free online video by the relationship psychologist who coined the term. You’ll learn the little things you can do and say to trigger this very natural male instinct.

Some ideas are game-changers. And when it comes to making a man commit to a long-term relationship, this is one of them.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

9. He keeps supporting you

No matter what you’re doing, whether you’re cooking dinner for the two of you, or you’re pursuing your dreams in your career, he is always supporting you and cheering you on from the sidelines.

He wants the best for you. He wants you to realize your potential and he wants you to be fulfilled.

He can’t help but encourage you to follow your dreams because your happiness is paramount to his happiness.

Unconditional love and support are key attributes of the hero instinct. I mentioned this concept above.

The thing is, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.

So, when the hero instinct isn’t triggered, men are unlikely to commit to a relationship with any woman. He holds back because being in a relationship is a serious investment for him.

How do you trigger this instinct in him? And give him this sense of meaning and purpose?

You don’t need to pretend to be anyone you’re not or play the “damsel in distress”. You don’t have to dilute your strength or independence in any way, shape or form.

In an authentic way, you simply have to show your man what you need and allow him to step up to fulfill it.

10. He displays little signs of affection.

Don’t get twisted. The little things DO count.

Little gestures of love show that he is in love with you. He cares for you and he is thinking of you.

Those little things can be as simple as holding hands or buying you a small gift to lift your spirits up.

It’s also a key sign if he is doing it not to impress you, but just to make you feel better.

It shows where his mind is at and what he is truly feeling. After all, it’s difficult to constantly pre-meditate little signs of affection.

And we all can say whatever we want but it’s our actions that count.

Nicholas Sparks sums it up quite perfectly:

“You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter.”

11. He wants to be around you all the time

When a guy loves you, they can’t help but try to get as close as they can to their love interest.

If you’re out to dinner with a group of people, he’ll somehow find a way to sit next to you.

If you’re at a party, then he manages to position himself near you for the majority of the time.

The funny thing is, he doesn’t really mean to. It just happens subconsciously because he loves being around you.

Watch for body language signs that show he just wants to be near you. It’ll show where his subconscious intentions are.

12. He can’t stop complimenting you

He looks at you and says you’re beautiful. He comments on how kind and caring you are. He tells you how much he appreciates the meals you cook or the job you’ve committed yourself to.

He goes out of his way to let you know that you’re awesome. And it’s obvious you’re having a bad day, he’ll do his best to lift you up by complimenting you.

It’s not because he is trying to suck up to you, it’s just that he finds it hard to say that he loves you, and instead says it in other ways.

According to Dr. Suzana E. Flores, when someone is in love, they tend to show strong empathy:

“Someone in love will care about your feelings and your well-being…If he or she is able to show empathy or is upset when you are, not only do they have your back but they also probably have strong feelings for you.”

Reasons why he might be scared to fall for you

happy couple
Image credit: Shutterstock – By Peter Berni

It’s all well and good to work out that he loves you and is scared about it, but the deeper issue is why the hell is he scared about it?

There could be several reasons he is scared about falling for you, some of which are more innocent than others.

So if the signs are pointing that he is scared to be falling for you, here are the most common reasons why:

1. He has just got out of a long-term relationship

He’s had a long-term relationship, and he’s been going through a tough break-up. This is extremely common.

He’s told himself he doesn’t want to be in a relationship for a while, and then you come along which starts giving him the feels.

Love physically hurts because our bodies release hormones and endorphins to protect us and ready us to move as quickly as possible away from the perceived threat.

But that threat lingers in our mind for days, weeks, months and even years in some cases after a bad break up. That’s why he is scared about falling for you. He doesn’t want to get hurt again.

Or perhaps something more sinister is going on (like he already has a girlfriend). This is rare, but it’s not out of the question.

2. He’s been hurt in the past

When you’ve been hurt in the past because a previous partner has cheated on you, or abused you, it can make you very skeptical of getting in a relationship with someone else.

This is why his guard might be up, and he is naturally afraid of getting close to anyone again.

But don’t worry. All this means is that you have to build trust with him. The more he trusts you, the more he’ll open up and eventually let his guard down.

Remember that dating a person who’s been hurt in the past is all about making them feel safe and secure in the relationship.

When he understands that he can trust you, it will alleviate his worries about falling for someone who could potentially hurt him.

3. He doesn’t think you like him back

Can you come across as a bit of an ice queen? You know the old resting bitch face even when you don’t intend to?

When it appears like you’re not interested, then you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s going to be scared about falling for you.

This can even happen in relationships, where a partner fears that they are falling much harder for their lover than their partner.

Nobody wants to be the one with stronger feelings. It can lead to neediness, desperation, and getting hurt.

The good news is that there is an easy way to overcome this. All you have to do is show him that you are interested, and he’ll realize that the feelings are reciprocated.

There are different ways to show him that you like him, whether it’s buying him gifts or showing him affection when he least expects it.

Once he knows that you like or love him, he’ll be more willing to show his feelings, too.

Does he love you? Or doesn’t he?

The truth is that he may not even know the answer…

Men are wired differently from women. We’re driven by different things when it comes to relationships. And most of the time, we’re not even consciously aware of the things that drive us.

But the beautiful part is, it’s never too late to understand these complex emotions and create a meaningful connection. 

I know it can feel hopeless, especially when you’re dealing with someone who finds it hard to express their emotions.

I have to admit I was failing to understand my partner’s emotions, and it affected our relationship significantly. I felt stuck, not knowing how to bridge that emotional gap.

But then I took Rudá Iandê’s Love and Intimacy Masterclass, and it was like a light bulb moment for me. 

I realized that the reason I couldn’t understand my partner’s feelings was that I didn’t know my inner desires.

I know this sounds surprising but this free masterclass helped me finally start working on my own emotional biases.

So, trust me — the first step is to understand yourself better. Once you’ve done that, then you can understand your partner’s emotional language too.

And the best starting point for this self-exploration journey could be this free masterclass.

Here’s the link to the free masterclass again.

 

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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