You’ve known each other for a while—maybe he’s a longtime friend or a coworker—and lately you can’t help but wonder if he’s starting to fall for you.
People can be painfully obvious when they’re in love, but sometimes you might not notice the signs thinking that he’s just being friendly.
So here are the 30 signs that he’s slowly falling for you.
1) He becomes touchier than usual
A hand on your shoulder, a playful shove, and friendly hugs.
We all get used to getting such things from people we know, so sometimes we don’t notice it when people start trying to steal a touch whenever they can.
Eventually though, it does become suspicious enough that you might think that there’s something going on.
2) He acts concerned even over little things
We all get concerned when our friends do weird and risky things.
But there’s a big difference between being concerned and being worried sick over small, relatively inconsequential things like you being an hour late for work.
When they care that much for you, it’s either you’re their best friend or you’re someone they’re having feelings for—and you would know if they see you as their best friend. And even then, who’s to say that you can’t fall in love with your best friend?
3) He talks about you all the time
We can’t help but talk about people we like. And while we can try to keep ourselves in check, we will all give away our interests in one way or another.
He might not talk about you too much when you’re around, but your friends tell you that all he talks about is you.
It’s the small things. His friends might be talking about the restaurants they’ve visited last night, only for him to talk about how you said that there’s this other restaurant that’s better.
4) He’s a nervous wreck when you’re around
He used to be chill as a cucumber when you met him, but now he fumbles and stutters and says awkward things when you’re around.
You don’t want to get too near him because you’re an empath and you don’t want him to suffer more. If you’re to get closer, you know he’d probably fall off his chair or sweat like he’s in the middle of a desert.
5) He follows your lead
When you start drinking less coffee, it won’t be long before he does the same.
You decided to pick up fishing as a hobby and, in a week or two, he’d suddenly join you at the docks with a pole of his own.
Now, it’s perfectly normal for friends to pick up on each other’s habits all the time, and some people even get annoyed by it. Because of that it’s easy to think that he’s simply being friendly.
The devil is in the details. Namely, just to what extent he’s imitating you. Him deciding to binge on the movies you’ve been watching might not mean anything special, but if he also suddenly listens to the kind of music you listen to…well, that’s just too obvious, isn’t it?
Him going nerdy on something simply because you liked it? Big green flag.
6) He gets lost in your gaze
There’s something different about his gaze now.
As a friend, he would be used to looking at you while you’re hanging out together and thinking nothing of it.
Give him a few moments and he’d realize what he’s doing, look away, and pretend everything’s normal. Or he might play it cool and act like there was nothing unusual at all about what he did.
He stares at you because just can’t get enough of you and, in the back of his head, he wants you to notice so that you’ll come and talk to him first.
7) He wants to be around you so much it’s annoying
The last thing we want is to annoy the people we love.
Unfortunately, love finds ways to make us oblivious to the fact that we are, in fact, being annoying.
You’d tell him that you’re going to spend your day off at your favorite bar and he’d ask if he could join you. Or he would notice that you like to play poker and he’d ask to play with you. All good, you would think the first few times he does this.
But eventually, you might notice that he seems to want to be always by your side whatever it is you are doing or wherever you may go. But at the same time, it feels bad to deny him, and you might feel like you have to say yes out of guilt.
While this is not something you should enjoy, it is a sign that he’s definitely interested in you.
8) He laughs at your stupidest jokes
You can say a joke drier than the Sahara and he’d be dying of laughter.
It could be that the two of you just share a common sense of humor, in which case it shows that you are highly compatible.
But let’s be real. You know your sense of humor isn’t the sharpest. Chances are that he simply just likes you that much, and that anything you say is immediately funny and endearing by default.
He simply doesn’t mind it when your joke isn’t smart or witty. All it needs is for it to come from you.
9) He asks about your love life
If he likes you, he will try to know more if you’re free or not. After all, it would suck if he were to express his feelings for you when you’re already taken.
He might try to figure things out quietly at first, maybe by following you around in social media or taking note of the things your friends say.
If he can’t figure things out by himself, eventually he might then begin to ask your friends about it instead. Or he may just ask you directly if he’s brave enough.
10) He does things out of character for you
He doesn’t really like going to parties, but invite him to one and he’d happily go with you. He doesn’t have a sense of humor, but he tries to make jokes when you just said that you like guys with a good sense of humor!
People simply don’t do things out of character for just any random person. If he does things differently from the usual for you, that means you’re special to him.
If he humors you once a month, then he might see you as his best friend. If he’s willing to put up with it every day, then he definitely has feelings for you.
11) He blows hot and cold
You might catch him becoming very warm and affectionate with you one day and then cold and distant the next. Getting hot and cold signals all of a sudden is confusing, because the two of you are usually really chill with each other.
This may be because he’s developing feelings for you and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.
If you’re good friends, he might be afraid that he’d ruin your friendship. Or if you’re already taken, he might be trying to spare you his feelings so that you won’t feel like you have to choose.
It might be frustrating when he acts like this, and you might be tempted to confront him about it. But this is something you should be understanding about.
12) He always reaches out first
Even with friends, it isn’t always easy to call first or to send the first text and get conversations going. After all, what if you’re busy or they come off as clingy?
To someone who is beginning to fall in love, these things would only become more worrisome. But at the same time, their desire to talk to you would—for the most part—overshadow any hesitation they might have.
Whether he knows it or not, he likes you and that is enough for him to want to stay in touch with you.
If he is to have his way, he won’t let a day pass without reaching out to you at least once, even if it’s nothing more than sending you a meme.
13) He puts his phone down when you’re together
The internet is distracting and addicting and many of us find our eyes glued to our phones no matter the occasion.
If he puts his phone down when you’re around—especially if you always see him on his phone when talking to others— that means that you’re important to him. That means he doesn’t mind missing the latest updates or texts he might get if it means he gets to spend the moment with you.
And, yes, there are people who are just that courteous that they’d always put their phones down when talking with other people.
However, they’re so rare in this day and age that this is nevertheless a very strong hint that he might be starting to fall for you.
14) He highlights the things you have in common
When the two of you are together, he seems to zero in on the things you have in common. Maybe it’s a habit or quirk like always reading a book first thing in the morning, or a hobby like checkers or tarot.
He knows these things tie you two together, and he wants to affirm and strengthen your bond to bring the two of you closer, and so that hopefully you’ll think that the two of you are meant to be together.
In a way, he would also be eager to learn more about what other things the two of you have in common so that he can further prove to you that the two of you are obviously compatible.
15) He seems a little more protective
It’s normal for us to feel a little protective over our friends, so you might not notice it when he begins to act a bit more protective at first.
It will become more and more obvious the deeper he falls in love with you and, at some point, it will become a bit suspicious. You will find yourself thinking “Wait, he wasn’t that protective over me before” at some point.
He would be especially protective when you’re around other guys. Part of it would be because his hero instinct compels him to act as your protector, and part of it would be that he’d be jealous of the idea of another guy making a move on you.
16) He gives you gifts
He’ll get you something if he thinks it makes you happy, but of course, he’d do it as if it’s no biggie. He might even give some to your friends and colleagues so he won’t be too obvious.
He might get you a tub of ice cream when he comes over, or quietly buy you an ugly sweater just to make you laugh.
It’s the little things that matter, and what matters to him is that he gets to paint a smile on your face a day at a time.
17) He remembers the things you tell him
You mentioned that you love red roses a year ago, so now he brings you a bouquet of the reddest roses you’ve ever seen for your birthday.
You mentioned that you hated it when people were mean to animals, so he helped you take a cat from the shelter.
Unless he has a photographic memory, he isn’t going to be remembering everything he sees every day. Most people only remember the things that are important to them.
And if he remembers the many little things that mattered to you, even if you’ve forgotten you’ve ever told him that, chances are that he has feelings for you.
18) He shows that he isn’t interested in other girls
He’s interested in you, and he wants you to be interested in him back.
He knows that playing games with your heart is only going to push you away so instead of trying to make you jealous, he makes it abundantly clear that he’s not interested in other girls.
Of course, he would most likely leave that “I’m interested in you” unsaid. Maybe he’s shy and just can’t bring himself to say it, or maybe he’s afraid that you’d reject him.
But make no mistake. He’s just waiting for you to understand what he meant and then approach him first.
19) He likes using pet names on you
Pet names can almost be considered a prelude to love.
Maybe he isn’t saying something as obvious as “honey” or “sweetie”, and maybe he’s the kind to give people nicknames anyways, but pet names are a clear sign of affection.
He might call you his “little bug”, for example, because he finds it funny how you just jump from one place to another.
Give him a pet name of his own, and see just how he would react.
20) He jokes about the two of you getting together
He really wants the two of you to be a thing, but he’s afraid of being rejected and losing your friendship.
So of course, he would start by trying to pass it off as if it were a joke.
Maybe he’d say something like “Oh, my neighbor Tom said that the two of us would be perfect for each other. Can you imagine? Haha!” or “Hey, wouldn’t it be nice if the two of us get married right now? Haha.”
He might think that he’s being sneaky when, in reality, he simply wants to see your reaction.
21) He stalks you on social media
Everyone follows everyone on social media. No big deal. But when he starts doing it when he’s been inactive since forever, it could be a sign he’s just using his apps to see more of you.
Plus points if he doesn’t do it to other people, and only to you.
He might think this is something that just means nothing but it’s a clear sign he’s very curious of you and is probably already falling for you.
22) His texts are becoming sweet and intimate
Being sweet and cuddly with people we like in text is something that has become incredibly common, so you wouldn’t be at fault to think nothing of him texting you 20 kiss emojis after his message.
He might think of texts as being a place where he can be openly affectionate with you without admitting that he’s actually being affectionate.
Of course, his feelings are plain as day if you were to pay close attention to how he’s acting. If you check how he messages to others and they’re clearly short and plain, then he’s clearly into you.
23) He loves your quirks
There are things that we are just shy about or scared to reveal to other people.
Some of us continue to play with toys that society tells us are “for kids.” Some of us have weird habits that can make us a perfect candidate for a reality show.
He knows all of that, but he doesn’t mind. He might even buy you dolls or lego sets and encourage your “childish” hobbies, or try to make you feel you’re perfectly normal…even cute.
In this cruel, judgmental world, it seems like he is someone you can lean on for acceptance and comfort…and he’s not doing this to everyone.
24) He doesn’t mind your flaws
We all have our flaws, and we are often very conscious about them. Maybe yours would be that you always get lost in your thoughts.
He doesn’t mind though. And not only that, he embraces them.
He will just laugh about it and help you when you start to forget things. He’d also lightly nudge you when you start to zone out during an important conversation.
He finds your flaws adorable—every single one of them—and that’s probably because he’s falling for you.
25) He notices things about you that others don’t
People don’t always care to pay attention to every single thing we do, and it’s unreasonable to expect that much.
That said, however, someone who’s in love would be paying you so much attention that he would notice the small things others don’t.
He might notice that you part your hair differently or that you changed your nail polish.
Most of all, he’ll notice how you feel. He might notice that you haven’t been smiling as much as you usually do and point that out, asking you if anything’s wrong when nobody else even noticed.
26) He likes to open up to you
A guy who’s slowly falling for you would want to know your opinions and feelings about certain things about him.
He’s a rather mysterious guy but then one night, he’ll confess to you something about his childhood. He’s slowly revealing himself to you because he wants you to see him.
Just the fact that he’s sharing something intimate to you is rewarding enough for a man who’s slowly developing feelings for you. He can’t explain it. He might even blame you for having a charismatic personality because he isn’t usually an open book.
27) He does his best to be supportive
Whatever it is you do, he’s there to offer you support. He might send you a guitar lesson tutorial when you tell him that you would love to learn guitar, or try to help you plan the little crafts store you’ve been dreaming of running.
And when you’re met with failure and feel like falling down, he’s there to listen to you help you get back on your feet.
Whatever your dreams are, he will do his best to help you succeed.
Then when he feels like you’re heading down the wrong path, he’s there to help guide you back to the right way forward.
He does his best to challenge you and inspire you to be your best, all the while quietly carrying you to greatness.
28) He’s the most understanding person
We all have bad days. Sometimes those bad days can be downright catastrophic and lead to a lot of drama that we would later regret.
This doesn’t mean he’s an unthinking yes-man, of course. If he truly does love you, he would try to help you see any mistakes you might have made and help you get better…but always with tenderness.
Where everyone else would leave you behind and think that you’re too much trouble to hang around with or just straight up leave after having seen your worst, he stays with you.
And even if he does leave, he just can’t help but return anyways.
He wants to be part of your life, both the good and the bad.
29) He’s consistent
You don’t see him making big advances but he’s consistent with his actions.
When people think of love, people sometimes get the idea of a man trying to take you by the hand and whisking you to the stars in a whirlwind romance.
That’s not love. That’s what you might call a crush, or infatuation, or lust. Love itself is something far gentler, and far more patient. Well okay, it doesn’t help that he’s painfully shy, too.
A guy who’s truly in love with you is afraid of committing mistakes. He’s also willing to wait for you.
You know he’s falling for you deeper if he’s become a constant presence in your life.
30) He prioritizes your happiness over his own
A big sign that he’s falling for you is that he starts to prioritize your happiness over his own.
Sure, we all like it when the people we know are happy and might sometimes buy gifts or spend time with them if we can afford it.
But it really takes strong feelings for him to sacrifice his own pleasure just to make you happy. Think of him saving up money to treat himself to a burrito, only to buy you a pizza instead.
Of course, he isn’t likely to boast about it, or to make you know it’s a big deal. That would be emotional manipulation, and the last thing he’d want to do to you.
Instead, he will just quietly do things to make you happy without bringing attention to any personal sacrifices on his end.
A guy who’s slowly falling for you will suffer in your presence because he will try his best to hide his feelings for you. He’s probably scared that you’ll run away if it becomes too obvious that he likes you.
If you like him too, encourage him to get closer. And if you’re a little brave or you’re getting too impatient, go ahead and be the first one to say what you feel!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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