When you meet a man in a happy relationship you notice two main things: he’s calm and he’s content.
When you meet a man in an unhappy relationship, however, there are many different ways it can manifest.
Here’s how to see the warning signs of a guy who’s very close to saying adios to his girlfriend for good.
15 clear signs he is not happy with his girlfriend (and he’ll probably leave her soon!)
1) He’s not affectionate toward her anymore
One of the clearest signs he is not happy with his girlfriend (and he’ll probably leave her soon!) is that he doesn’t show her affection anymore.
Caressing her cheek, putting his arm around her, even a kind word now and then?
Nowhere to be found…
If a guy isn’t taking his girl out on dates, isn’t showing her physical affection, is turning down sex and giving her the cold shoulder, then he wants out.
It’s really that simple.
Mudra Joshi cuts to the chase here, writing that one of the top signs a relationship is dead is when the spark is gone:
“He won’t do the bare minimum to keep the spark alive.
“Romance is a thing of the past.”
2) He tries to spend as little time as possible with her
When you care about someone and love them, you want to spend time with them.
A guy who’s grown tired of his girlfriend will do the opposite.
He’ll want to spend as much time as possible away from her.
The reason he doesn’t just break up with her is usually that he wants to avoid confrontation or that he’s still lingering on past feelings he had for her.
Regardless of the reasons, you can be sure that his avoidance of her is linked to his desire to leave.
When you know the warning signs to look for, hearing that he’s broken up with his girlfriend won’t come as any surprise to you.
3) He feels lost and depressed when he’s with her
One of the clearest signs he is not happy with his girlfriend (and he’ll probably leave her soon!) is that he’s just not happy around her.
If you see a guy with a frown plastered on his face and a girlfriend on his arm, you can be sure something’s not right.
It’s just so easy for the lines of communication to break down.
And once they do the love disappears rapidly and we’re left with that old empty feeling that country singers like to croon about.
There’s a reason that romance can be so disappointing and difficult…
The truth is, most of us overlook an incredibly important element in our lives:
The relationship we have with ourselves.
I learnt about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his genuine, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to plant yourself at the center of your world.
He covers some of the major mistakes most of us make in our relationships, such as codependency habits and unhealthy expectations. Mistakes most of us make without even realizing it.
So why am I recommending Rudá’s life-changing advice?
Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern-day twist on them. He may be a shaman, but his experiences in love weren’t much different to yours and mine.
Until he found a way to overcome these common issues. And that’s what he wants to share with you.
So if you’re ready to make that change today and cultivate healthy, loving relationships, relationships you know you deserve, check out his simple, genuine advice.
4) He expresses sadness and frustration at her behavior
If you’re looking for clear signs he is not happy with his girlfriend, listen to how he talks about her.
When a guy is about to leave his girlfriend or highly frustrated with her, he will express sadness and frustration at her behavior.
It’s just a matter of learning to read between the lines.
What I mean is that a man who’s out with his girl is not likely going to shame and complain about her in front of her face.
Instead, he will give various clues that she’s no longer the queen of his heart.
This often comes in the form of sarcastic jokes where he may take digs at her that are criticisms and complaints disguised as humor.
It can also be in subtle ways he rolls his eyes and sidesteps what she says as if she is just an unhappy customer in a business or some problem he has to put up with.
5) He puts other women in higher priority than her
Another one of the clear signs he is not happy with his girlfriend is that he puts other women in front of her.
No guy does this to someone he loves.
He does it to somebody he wants to get rid of, or somebody he used to love.
You can be certain that if he’s putting his girlfriend second he’s already prepared to put her in the past.
Because men are smarter than many people give them credit for: they don’t just do things for no reason, they weigh their options and act.
If he wants to stay with her then he’ll make her his priority.
If he wants to leave he’ll reshuffle the deck of his personal priorities accordingly.
“Does he drop whatever he’s doing, even during times when you know he’s with her, to be by your side?
“You know you are at the top of his priority list if that is the case.”
6) He’s talking to his friends about breaking up with her
Guys don’t tend to like gossip. But they also tend to be more direct than women.
If he’s been talking about breaking up with his girlfriend to his friends then you can be sure it’s one of the very clear signs he is not happy with his girlfriend.
No guy goes out dropping drama like this unless he’s pissed.
Consciously or subconsciously, he’s hoping it gets back to her and makes her freak out.
Be warned that sometimes he can be dragging the bait so that it causes a reaction in her and manipulates his girlfriend in some way.
But in most cases, he’s simply venting what he’s feeling and letting the world know that his relationship is in big trouble.
You can already see the city limits of Brokenheartsville approaching.
7) He has major mood swings at the drop of a dime
Strong emotions are nothing to be ashamed of, but extreme mood swings can be a real sign of trouble.
In some cases, they indicate a struggle with mental illness, but they can also be the result of intense stress and unhappiness in life.
Never underestimate the impact that relationships have on our well-being. They are so crucial.
When a man is finding that his girlfriend is upsetting and disappointing him in many ways, he may begin to act like he’s bipolar.
His mood changes rapidly and he’s sunshine one moment and dark grey skies the next.
You can be sure that all is not well back in his romantic life…
“His moods will swing all over the place: one moment, he’ll be pretty content to do whatever, and the next he’ll lash out for absolutely no reason at all.
“When he hates your relationship but doesn’t have the stones to end it, he’s likely to pick fights in order to plant seeds of doubt.”
8) Their future plans are the complete opposite
Another of the clear signs he is not happy with his girlfriend is that his life is on a very different path from hers.
Is his girlfriend a career woman who’s giving her all to ace law school, but he’s a stay-at-home type guy who wants nothing more than a family and a girlfriend who will be more domestic?
That’s not exactly a recipe for success, folks.
Granted, relationships happen in the present and day by day. But future plans do matter.
And when he’s on a very different page from his girlfriend, it’s very likely to lead to conflict and eventually separation.
There’s only so long you can walk hand-in-hand if your paths diverge.
9) His girlfriend has become like his roommate
How does this guy act around his girlfriend?
As I wrote, if there’s no affection or intimacy then you can be sure the relationship is in trouble.
The truth is that many couples eventually lose attraction and become more like roommates than lovers.
It’s sad to see, but it happens every day.
And when it does, men get bored.
As Ossiana Tepfenhart writes, one of the top signs he’s checked out of his relationship is that his girlfriend has become more like his roommate:
“Sure, life gets hectic sometimes and you can’t spend days on end in bed, but if you notice your relationship is basically like a college roommate situation instead of a boyfriend/girlfriend one, there’s a problem.”
10) He’s having major clashes of values with her
Another of the clear signs he is not happy with his girlfriend is in terms of their values clashing.
I’m not only talking about surface disagreements here like politics, diet or lifestyle.
I’m talking about their fundamental approach to life.
Many people enter relationships with a rosy view of the future, believing that sheer confidence and attraction can save the day.
After months or years, they find that a lack of shared foundational values can actually be a major dealbreaker.
When you can’t understand or appreciate where someone is coming from in their life’s values and priorities it’s not really possible to love them…
11) His girlfriend bores the crap out of him
If there’s one thing about a couple in love it’s that they’re never bored.
They can sit and stare in each other’s eyes and still feel fully engaged.
But when the love has gone (or never existed in the first place) it’s a lot different…
Boredom and exhaustion with the other person can often become the norm.
Sadly, this usually leads to a quick breakup. Because the truth is that you don’t find somebody boring when you love them.
“When a guy is into his girl, he finds her amusing, interesting, and impressive.
“A moment with her is never wasted, and he’s never bored in her presence.
“But when a guy rolls his eyes the moment she opens her mouth or struggles to stay focused when they are having a conversation, it’s pretty clear that he thinks she’s as dull as a doornail.”
12) He looks exhausted and stressed all the time
Pay attention to how this guy looks.
If he looks exhausted and stressed all the time it’s one of the clear signs he is not happy with his girlfriend.
Of course, it could be many other things bringing him down, too, which is why I suggest focusing in on how he looks around her.
Is he standing at her side beaming but downcast and tired away from her? It could be something else completely that’s bothering him.
But if this guy is generally pretty upbeat but he’s become a complete limp vegetable around her then you have to pay attention.
This is almost always for the simple reason that he doesn’t like her anymore and wants out.
13) He clams up on his girlfriend
Communication is the grease that makes the wheels of love go around.
That didn’t come out as romantic as I wanted it to, but here’s the point:
When two people are in a healthy partnership they talk it out. When they’re close to breaking up they shut down.
The words stop and the sharing of how we really feel becomes a rarity or even an impossibility.
Everything is a fight, a competition or a clash of some kind.
If this guy doesn’t talk to his girlfriend anymore then he probably doesn’t want to be with her anymore.
“When your partner is getting ready to break up with you, information doesn’t get shared in the same way.
“You no longer talk about things in the same way because the connection that you used to have just isn’t the same.”
14) His family and friends strongly dislike his current girlfriend
Like I wrote, a guy doesn’t talk down about his girlfriend unless he is playing serious mind games or really wants her gone.
By the same token, a guy’s family won’t drag their own disapproval of his girlfriend out in public unless things have gotten really bad.
If you get wind of his family not liking his girl, then you can be sure that things have reached a fever pitch.
Drama doesn’t go public like this unless there’s some truth to it.
And the truth is it probably means that issues have led to the point of breaking up in the near future.
15) It’s all about the bros
Another one of the clear signs he is not happy with his girlfriend (and he’ll probably leave her soon!) is that he puts her on the back shelf and focuses on his bros.
“When guys’ night becomes an everyday occurrence, she can assume that he’s looking for a way to get out of the relationship.
“Guys want to have fun with their friends, but when a guy also has a girlfriend, he makes ample time for her, even if it means missing a night or more with the boys.”
Everybody deserves love, but when it goes wrong, all of us react in different ways.
One of the most common ways that a man reacts is by turning back to friendship and the guys. They make him feel comfortable and accepted and take his mind off the drama and histrionics at home.
A healthy relationship has plenty of time for one of those involved to spend time with friends.
But this isn’t that.
It’s him breaking up with her by default and putting his friends over her.
It’s a breakup by another name: and sooner or later it will end in an actual break up.
When will he break up with her?
Every breakup is different, just like the speed of every start of a relationship is different.
If the above signs are popping up regularly and in intense forms then you can be sure a breakup is only weeks or a few months away.
If the problems are more low-key then it could take longer.
One thing you can be sure of is that every relationship has problems and tensions beneath the surface.
The point that it reaches break up level is when these problems begin to be evident even to outsiders.
If you’re observing problems that are obvious to anyone watching, then just imagine how much worse these tensions and dramas are behind closed doors…
You can be sure that a breakup is on the near horizon.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.