12 signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Falling into a pseudo-relationship is way too common nowadays.

It’s that kind of relationship where you’re investing enough time and effort to be considered dating, without actually ever acknowledging romantic feelings or saying you’re dating.

Modern dating culture’s aversion to defining anything and everything makes it easy for guys to get away with acting romantic without actually committing to anything.

That’s not to say that he’s doing it on purpose because he wants to keep you on your toes; maybe he doesn’t even know what he’s feeling himself.

As complicated as this is, there are still some tell-tale signs to help you understand your guy’s intentions.

Despite the mixed signals, here are some ways you could see if he’s actually into you and wants you for himself (even if he’ll never admit it):

1) He Treats You Like A Queen

At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words.

Instead of saying he wants you, he shows you through actions.

He might not be getting down on one knee and asking you to be his girlfriend, but he shows his affection in a different way.

He showers you with texts, gifts, affection, or maybe even time.

If you’re honest with yourself, sometimes this even feels like it’s too much, like he’s love bombing you.

Sometimes guys resort to being overly sweet thinking that’s what’s going to win women over.

Maybe he treats you like a queen because he’s afraid you’ll turn your head and be whisked away by some other prince charming.

2) He Remembers All The Little Details

What better way to stand out than by making you feel like he truly understands you?

It’s not always easy to demonstrate to others how engaged we are in the things they say.

One way he might be proving this is by repeating back things you’ve mentioned in the past, whether it’s an offhand comment you made or a poignant childhood memory.

In his own little way, remembering the little details is his way of saying “your words have value to me”.

3) He Asks About Your Previous Relationships

Think of a spy scoping out the perimeter.

His curiosity around your previous relationships probably stems from more than just casual curiosity.

Chances are he’s because he wants to get information about what you like in a guy in a relationship.

Think about it this way: he might have low self-confidence and he’s feeling unsure about how he’d fare as a romantic partner.

Without revealing his cards, he asks about your ex relationships to have an intimate understanding of what you’re looking for in a guy.

Hopefully, with enough information, he might just piece enough things together to be the man you’re looking for.

4) He’s Emotionally Vulnerable With You

It can be notoriously difficult to get some men to open up.

Telling you straight up that he likes you isn’t the only way men express themselves romantically.

Maybe he’s still unsure about how he feels; maybe he wants to keep his feelings under wraps a bit longer.

Regardless of how he feels, his affection is bound to spill in other areas.

For instance, you might notice that he opens up to you a bit more than he does to other people.

He talks about his anxieties as well as his passions.

You see a depth to him that most people don’t see.

For all you know, this could be his way of pulling you in closer.

5) He Tries Hard In Bed

Ever heard the saying “leave them wanting more?”

All these great sex moves might just be a ploy to get you to stick around longer.

He doesn’t want you to forget him the minute you leave the bedroom so he gives you a lot to remember.

After all, how could you even begin to think about someone else when you’re still recovering from a particularly steamy session?

He might not be outwardly possessive but this could be one of the ways he shows you exactly where you belong: with him.

6) He Always Makes New Plans

Do you ever get the feeling that he’s trying to fill up your calendar with nothing but him?

Every time you get a day off from work or a free night or weekend, he hits you up and asks if you’re free.

Free to go out for dinner, free to watch a movie, free to go hiking or bowling, or a million other things.

His insistence on being with you is cute, but the fact that he doesn’t treat it like a real date is questionable.

It’s best to try to help draw out his real feelings when he’s obviously making plan after plan with you; maybe he doesn’t even know what he really feels.

7) He protects you

Men are naturally protective over women.

A study published in the Physiology & Behavior journal shows that male’s testosterone makes them feel protective over their mate’s safety and wellbeing.

Does your man protect you? Not just from physical harm, but does he make sure you’re protected when any negative situation arises?

Congratulations. This is a definite sign he loves you and he doesn’t want you to see anyone else.

8) He Asks About New Guys In Your Life

Whenever a new guy enters your life — be it a classmate who asked for your number or a new co-worker asking you out to eat — the first one to ask about it is him.

He’s super curious about any new guy who appears on your friend’s list or phone contacts, and he wants to know everything about that guy (and of course, how you feel about him).

When he does this, it’s a clear sign that he feels that he should already be your boyfriend, but for some reason, he just doesn’t know how to cross that line.

So instead he has to worry that every new guy who enters your life might think that you’re single and ready to mingle — which you are.

9) He’s Always the First To Come To Your Aid

There’s no better way to convince a person that you’re their soulmate than always being the first one to come to their aid when they ask for it.

He knows that since you’re single (and amazing), then you’ll probably have a ton of guys waiting to lend you a hand whenever you need some help, and he can’t let that happen.

So that means he always has to be first.

If he’s always rushing to help you out, it’s clearly because he doesn’t want anyone else to gain your approval and attention.

10) He Gets Bothered When You Go Out With Someone Else

So you went out on a date with another man.

You did nothing wrong — you’re single and available, no matter how much of a crush “he” might have on you.

And he knows he can’t say anything negative about it because he’s not technically your boyfriend (even though he acts like it half the time).

But that doesn’t mean he won’t be bothered about it.

You’ll feel him seething quietly when you’re around him, itching to give you a piece of his mind even though he has absolutely no right to do it.

He’ll try to learn everything he can about the other guy, even asking your friends about him, but at the end of the day, he knows that if he wants you to stop dating other people, he has to make a serious move on you for himself.

11) He’s Been Hurt In the Past

He acts like a boyfriend, talks like a boyfriend, and feels like a boyfriend — but for the life of you, you can’t understand why he won’t make the moves to take the relationship to the next level.

It’s like he likes you but doesn’t really like you, but he also acts like no one else is allowed to ask you out. So what’s going on?

It’s possible that he’s been hurt in the past by previous girlfriends in his life.

He might have gone through something extremely traumatizing and emotionally stressful, and now he has trouble committing to a serious relationship even though he really wants it.

Walk him through these memories and help him face them again.

If you truly feel that he would make a great partner, then help him realize you want him to be that man for you.

12) He Gets Surprised When You Have Other Plans

He’s genuinely surprised whenever you say, “I can’t, I have plans.”

In his mind, there are times when he thinks that you and him are already a couple.

But for one reason or another, you two never became truly official, and he still finds himself taken aback whenever he’s forced to remember that you have a life that has nothing at all to do with him, and he has no right to ask about it.

This surprise is a clear sign that he wishes there was “more” between you, and he doesn’t want anyone else to have you or your time.

 

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers).

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

19 undeniable signs you are unofficially dating (complete list)

30 compelling signs your soulmate is missing you – The Ultimate List