35 painful signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore

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Did his feelings change? Has he lost interest in the relationship?

Or can you feel that he’s at the edge of breaking up with you?

I know how heartbreaking and painful it could be when the guy you love doesn’t want to be with you anymore and starts pulling away.

While he hasn’t told you that he doesn’t love you right to your face, your heart knows that something’s wrong.

You’re now torn — and looking for signs that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, if he needs space, or if there’s still a bit of love left.

Most women will ignore these red flags as it’s hard to accept that their relationship is already falling apart. But it’s always better to see the truth about your relationship and accept if things have changed.

In this article, you’ll get to understand whether he still wants a relationship or not, and what you can do about this.

So take a deep breath — and if you’re ready, let’s start.

Signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore

I hope these signs will help you realize whether he doesn’t love you anymore, or if there’s a bit of hope left.

1) He’s always annoyed at you

Everything you do bothers him.

He gets irritated even by the little things you do. Those quirks that he used to find cute and love about you now seem to get on his nerves.

You’re wondering why the way you laugh irritates him. Even the way you cuddle him while watching a movie now makes him uncomfortable.,

It could be because you’re annoying him, he’s tired, or having a stressful time.

But since you know him better — and if you can’t see what’s affecting him — take this as a warning sign that he’s having second thoughts about his feelings for you.

2) He stops apologizing for what he did

Sometimes he would do things to hurt you. But he’ll just ignore this and won’t apologize.

If you can feel that he’s arguing with you for a purpose, then it’s a red flag warning. It shows that he doesn’t care about your feelings anymore.

He might be using this as a reason to break off your relationship.

3) He gets angry for no reason

What was once a sweet relationship is turning into a horror movie.

When you’re together, he gets snappy and impatient at everything. His fuse is getting shorter, and his tolerance level is dropping.

He’s yelling at you at the slightest little thing. You can almost feel that he’s screaming as he wants you out.

Don’t let this behavior surprise you. It’s a disturbing sign that he doesn’t love you anymore.

4) A relationship coach confirms it

The signs above and below in this article will give you a good idea of if he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore.

Even so, it can be very worthwhile to speak to a certified relationship coach and get honest-to-goodness advice.

Relationship Hero is the best site I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talk. They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle difficult situations like dealing with and getting away from deceitful people.

They can answer all sorts of relationship questions and take away your doubts and worries.

Like, is he really planning to leave? Are you meant to be with him?

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

5) You feel anxious around him

You’re in a toxic relationship and it’s killing your sanity slowly.

You don’t know why you’re feeling this way towards him. Why?

Because you can feel that your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore, he’s sort of transmitting that weird vibe onto you.

You’re anxious because you’re scared of what will happen to your relationship. You’re in denial and having a conflict with yourself.

You can’t accept the fact that his feelings for you have turned into something else.

6) He disagrees with you

Disagreements and differences in a relationship are normal.

But when he doesn’t want to compromise or resolve even the smallest things, it is a signal for a disaster.

You can also see that he starts blowing everything out of proportion and picks on you at the slightest chance.

If he’s doing this most of the time, look at this as a sign that something isn’t right with his feelings for you.

7) He’s withdrawn all the time

He used to share his day and talk about anything with you — from how his day was to how he’s feeling.

But now, he has shut down, pulls away, and refuses to talk.

If he wants to work something on his own or maybe he’s experiencing a phase of being withdrawn, it’s normal.

But then, if it comes to a point where he doesn’t want to talk to you for an extended period, that’s not normal. It’s a sign that he doesn’t care about your relationship anymore.

8) He’s ignoring your calls and texts

Again, it’s normal if texting and calling decreases when a relationship matures. But it’s a different thing when it takes him forever to reply to your messages.

The worst is, he’s ignoring your texts and not answering your calls.

It’s hard, but this is a clear sign that he doesn’t want to hear from you anymore.

9) He doesn’t initiate contact anymore

At the initial stage of a relationship, couples tend to talk and message each other 24/7. Everything is intense, and you want to stay in touch all the time.

This calms down as the relationship grows — and you become more relaxed with each other.

But there’s something wrong if suddenly, you’re the only one who keeps on checking in. You won’t hear from him if you didn’t call or send him a message.

10) He doesn’t make time for you

Even if he’s busy, if he loves you, he will find time for you.

Look at yourself.

No matter how preoccupied you are with what you’re doing, you’re carving out time because you care about him.

But what about him?

I bet he still has time to play or spend time with his friends.  He even tells you he’s busy and keeps making excuses when you want to see him or go on a date.

Maybe he’s avoiding you for he doesn’t know how to face the reality that the relationship might be over. Likely, he doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore.

Ouch, but your relationship could be coming to an end.

11) He doesn’t make you feel better

One of the sweetest feelings being in a relationship is knowing that you have someone to count on.

You know that someone is finding a way to fix your bad mood or cheer you up when things get rough.

Your guy used to do this, but now everything has changed. He just ignores you when you tell him that you’re having a difficult time.

If this is happening, see this as a sign that what you’re feeling or what you’re going through doesn’t matter to him anymore.

12) He doesn’t notice how you look

He used to admire the way you dress up when you go out. He used to love your smile and the glow in your eyes when you talk.

He often tells you how lovely you look even if your hair is in a mess and how good you smell even after you hit the gym.

See, you used to receive all those compliments from him. But now, he never notices anything about you.

Would he even care if you start sporting a bald head? Would he even care at all?

13) He doesn’t feel like you trigger his inner hero 

If you feel like he’s distancing himself from you, this might be the reason why.

You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this revolutionary concept is about three main drivers all men have, deeply ingrained in their DNA.

This is something most women don’t know about.

But once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger this.

And they’re more likely to want to settle into a relationship. 

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel locked in the tower to make him see you as the one.

The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.

The easiest way to do this is by checking out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you. 

All of that and more is included in this informative free video, so make sure to check it out if you want to make him yours for good.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

14) He doesn’t find your life interesting anymore

You used to talk about your day, friends, family, or dreams about him. He listens and wants to know more about it too.

But lately, he doesn’t seem to be interested in whatever you’re sharing.

He never bothers to ask how your day was. He never remembers what you shared with him yesterday. He’s not paying attention and not listening to you anymore.

Okay, this is a clear sign that he’s losing interest in your life at all.

15) He doesn’t want to get involved in your life

He loves it when you do things together.

He even enjoys going to the gym or shopping with you. And you’re happy that he’s interested in your passions, hobbies, and whatever it is you’re doing.

You also know that he always looks forward to hanging out with your family and friends.

But not anymore.

He gave up and doesn’t take any interest at all. He doesn’t want to do anything else with you. You can feel that he’s breaking everything — all the bonds — that he has with you.

16) He’s putting you down

You’re confused as to why he’s acting so weird lately.

He cracks those humiliating jokes, criticizing you, and even says those offensive things when you’re around other people.

Even if he jokes around, you know that his jokes are something more personal. The way he talks you down in front of others is knocking your self-confidence.

Sadly, he’s not treating you with the respect that you deserve to have. Disrespect in a relationship isn’t a good sign at all.

17) You’re not his priority

When a guy loves you, you know that you’re still on top of his world. That even if he has other commitments, you won’t get neglected.

But now you can feel that he’s neglecting you and you’re at the bottom of his priorities.

He keeps making excuses and brushes you off often. He also prefers spending time alone or with other people.

You can’t even remember the last time he made you feel special.

This is a sign that you’ve become an option. And if he has to choose between something and you, I bet he won’t choose you. Sorry if this is the case.

18) His plans don’t include you

This is one of the biggest signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

While he’s making plans for himself or with his family, friends, or other people — you’re not a part of it.

No wonder he keeps himself busy even during weekends and makes all those stupid excuses so he won’t get to see you. He doesn’t want to spend any time — or the future with you.

19) He doesn’t talk about your future together

Once upon a time, he was the man who dreams about the life you’ll share.

The two of you talk about where you’ll spend the holidays, where you might live, and even the kids you might have.

But now, he avoids any plans about the future, both near and distant.

This just means that he doesn’t see or believe that there will be a future for your relationship.

20) He’s not willing to go out of his way for you

When a man loves you deeply, he’s there for you no matter what.

Even if he’s out with friends or has problems on his own, you can feel that he cares for you.

This is the man who once loved you. He’d do pretty much anything to make you happy. He’s willing to do anything for you.

But not anymore.

You can’t find him when you need support. He’ll come up with excuses on why he can’t help you.

You feel alone. It’s not surprising, but the love he has for you has gone into oblivion.

21) He does not care about your feelings

He has no or little interest in whatever it is that you’re feeling. Even if he’s aware of what’s going on with you, he pretends to be unaware.

If he truly loves you, he would care about how you feel.

He could comfort you and try to make you feel better. Otherwise, if he does nothing when you’re already hurting, then he doesn’t love you back.

22) He stops making you happy

Everything that made you feel loved and special is gone.

He just doesn’t care about your needs anymore. He only wants to do things on his own. He was once attentive to your needs — and that of your relationship — but things have changed.

It’s crazy, but he’s taking you and your relationship for granted.

When he stopped caring for you and putting that time and energy into your relationship, this could mean your relationship is coming to an end.

23) You don’t recognize him

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Let’s face it:

We can waste a lot of time and energy with people who ultimately we’re not compatible with. Finding your soulmate isn’t exactly easy.

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If you’re ready to find out what your soulmate looks like, get your own sketch drawn here.

If you don’t recognize him in the sketch, it could be a sign that you and your partner aren’t meant to be and naturally, the relationship will one day end.

24) He’s not affectionate

He used to hold you, kiss you, and want you in all aspects.

Now, he never holds you unless you ask him to. He used to be tender and loving, but now you can’t get him to hug you.

Even if you think that he is your soulmate, he doesn’t want you now.

The worst is, he’s shaking you off when you try to show him your affection. He’s acting cold and distant most of the time.

While there are other reasons behind this, it’s a sign that something’s not right.

25) He’s being secretive

A guy who loves you trusts you enough shares most things with you and won’t hide anything from you.

If this isn’t the case anymore, he would feel like he has no reason to let you know his whereabouts or what he’s doing.

If he keeps on excusing himself to answer a call or tilts his phone so you won’t see his messages, watch out.

Even if you don’t want to invade his privacy, your gut instinct knows that something is wrong.

It would be that he’s flirting with other girls or having a long-distance affair. Everything’s possible. This is a bad sign. And if it’s a cheating alert, you should as well take it seriously.

26) He forgets special days

If a guy loves you, he will take time to celebrate and cherish your birthday, anniversary, Valentine’s day, Holidays, and other occasions.

While you used to celebrate those special days together, he seems to have forgotten all about it.

Now, he even decides to celebrate his birthday with his friends or other people.

Don’t give much thought about this as this is a sure red flag that he wants you out of his life. Sad but true.

27) He doesn’t have time and energy to communicate

There is no communication between you two anymore. Communication issues indicate that there’s something wrong with your relationship.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Does he listen attentively or care about what you say?
  • Do you know what’s going on in his personal life?
  • Does he keep on shutting down and refuse to talk?
  • Does he get defensive or aggressive?

See, communication is everything in a relationship. Without it, a relationship won’t thrive and survive.

28) You can’t feel his intimacy anymore

Your intimate life doesn’t exist. It becomes cold and emotionless.

It’s not just about your sexual life. It’s also the fact that he doesn’t want to cuddle, kiss, hug, or hold hands anymore.

While it’s normal that intimacy in a relationship tends to slow down to a point where it’s more natural for both of you — it doesn’t have to stop.

When everything stops altogether, he’s not attracted to you nor desires you anymore. This is a big sign the relationship is over.

29) He lost interest in sex

Consider this point only if you have steamy and lots of sexy times together.

It’s been a while since he’s shown any interest between the sheets.

He might respond when you initiate things, but you can still feel that he’s detached. The worst is, he’s rejecting you and making excuses.

Low sex drive is not uncommon in men and several psychological factors can contribute to this.

But if he had lost that sexual desire towards you and you can feel that he’s no longer looking forward to sex, then it’s a sign that he has lost interest.

30) He’s not happy anymore

It’s normal to feel sad or be in a bad mood.

But if your guy is not acting the way he usually does and is always in a bad mood especially when you’re together, something is off.

He doesn’t seem to enjoy your company anymore. You even hardly see him smile and laugh.

This is a warning sign that he doesn’t want to be with you and wants to break things off.

31) He doesn’t put any effort into the relationship

You know that he doesn’t want to work on things. You’re being taken for granted.

When you try to talk to him about this, he shuts you off and refuses to discuss the problem. He’s acting this way for the love that he had for you has vanished.

See, if he still cares and loves you, he would talk about how the two of you can work through it.

Your relationship is certainly coming to an end.

32) He needs space

There, he openly asks you to give him space.

His words caused you to plunge into a world of confusion. You start to panic and feel hurt.

Even if we’re in a relationship, we still need some healthy space. It’s normal to spend time by ourselves or with friends. Maybe he needs time to be alone.

But what isn’t normal is when your guy tries to push you away all the time.

It’s also not normal when he doesn’t want to communicate or see you.

If he’s losing interest in the worst-case scenario, his need for space could be because he already wants to break up.

33) He doesn’t tell you he loves you

This one hurts the most. The fact that you don’t feel loved is the worst part of it of all these.

Every time you look at him and tell him you love him, you can see nothing from his eyes.

When he hesitates on saying it back and looks away, you can feel the pain inside you. Because deep down, you know he doesn’t love you anymore.

When a guy is in love, he makes it obvious. He’ll let you know without uncertainty that he loves you.

So when he stops saying he loves you and he’s not showing you his love like he used to, it means he doesn’t love you anymore.

This relates back to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct. When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to keep his loving feelings for you.

So if his inner-hero isn’t being triggered, it’s natural that he’ll stop telling you he loves you.

But if you want to re-spark his feelings for you, triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as knowing the right thing to say over text.

You can learn that and more by watching this genuine video by James Bauer

34) Your gut tells you something’s wrong

Sometimes you’re too worried about your relationship with him.

Maybe he’s distracted or needs to work on other things — and his actions have nothing to do with you. If you’re just paranoid, you need to work on it.

But deep down, you can tell that everything about him has changed. His behavior has changed, and he turned cold and distant.

If you’re sure that it’s something more — and he has fallen out of love, trust what your instinct is telling you.

35) He lies to you

Sad to say that this is a big sign that there’s no more love.

I think you know if he’s lying to you. It’s just that sometimes, we don’t want to admit and accept those things.

Maybe we’re afraid to face the truth, get hurt, and deal with a break-up. But sooner or later, it’s bound to happen.

What to do now?

These warning signs that he doesn’t love you anymore can be a bit tricky. But all these are important signs that you shouldn’t overlook.

While you can see that the feeling is gone and he wants to break up with you, take time to look at everything.

Remember that just because a few or several points on the list are true and apply to your relationship means that your guy is going to break up with you.

There could be several reasons that make your guy act that way.

But, if your guy consistently displays these behaviors, then your belief is right — and his reasons don’t matter anymore.

The only thing you can do is to accept that things aren’t the same anymore. Then take steps on how you can move on.

Ultimately, if your partner wants to end things with you, he will. So get out while it’s easier than it will be down the road.

Don’t wait for him to decide about what will happen to your relationship.

Understanding the psychology behind men and commitment

Does it feel like whatever you do, nothing will get through to your man? 

If so, it signifies that whatever is holding your man back from fully committing to you is rooted deeply in his psyche. 

Psychologists have studied the way men think for years, but only one truly hit the nail on the head – Sigmund Freud, the father of psychology. 

To save you having to take a degree in psychology just to get through to your man, we’ve put together something much easier to help you in your relationship:

Our free commitment quiz, based on Freud’s most highly regarded theories.

You see, his issues with commitment have nothing to do with you. You could be the perfect woman for him but he still won’t see it. 

So rather than let him slip away, be the one who finally understands what’s holding him back and learn how to unleash his commitment. 

Check out our new quiz here.

Want to know a secret?

Most of the time, we ignore that little voice in our head that screams, “Let go.”

Instead, we live in denial and use it as a defense mechanism even if the signs are crystal clear. We look and hold on to signs that show that our relationship is working the way we want it to be.

We choose to fight for that love and prove to our partners that we are worthy to be loved. We’re scared to accept the fact that things aren’t what they used to be.

I know how it feels to be loved. I also know how it hurts if you aren’t loved.

But if you know deep in your heart that he isn’t in love with you, it’s time for you to move on.

Let go of someone who doesn’t love you

I know how painful it is to let go. I know you’re trying to save this relationship from falling apart.

Yes, it’s a hard pill to swallow.

You can search for ways to win that love back but it’s not that simple. You can read all the tips and tricks on how to get him back.

But I’m sorry, true love doesn’t work that way. You can’t force someone to love you back.

You’ll only find yourself getting miserable if you stay in a loveless relationship. It’s pointless to stay in a relationship with the wrong person.

The sooner you accept that the relationship is over, the sooner you can cope with this heartbreak.

Remember that you deserve to be in a healthy and happy relationship. You deserve to be loved, cared for, and needed.

If a guy doesn’t want to be with you anymore, it doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable or unworthy.

Final thoughts

We’ve spoken about the importance of letting go, especially if he makes it clear he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.

But, if you really want to find out why his feelings have changed and this relationship isn’t working out, don’t leave it up to chance. 

Instead speak to a real, certified relationship coach who will give you the answers you’re searching for.

I mentioned Relationship Hero earlier, it’s the best site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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