Other people can sometimes be a good judge of character. Sometimes.
When you try to be honest or helpful, others might judge you for being too offensive or insensitive.
While that may come off as strange to you, you need to keep in mind that their only basis for your character is how you go about your actions. They aren’t mind-readers.
As much as you might not want to admit it, what other people think of you is important.
If you aren’t seen as a trusting and kind figure, you might find yourself left out of any more invitations for a group outing.
Here are 11 signs you have strong, edgy personality traits that might be rubbing people the wrong way.
1. You’re Honest — Maybe Too Honest
Your friend has a painting but you feel like he could do better.
While other people might keep up the pleasantries and say “Good job!”, this feels inauthentic to you.
You know that if you don’t say anything now, they’ll never improve.
So you give your honest feedback and constructive criticisms.
Others might think you’re being tactless by doing that, but you know that it’s in your friend’s best interest that, if they want to improve their work, they’re going to need genuine feedback.
You don’t view it as being offensive. You’re just being helpful.
2. You’re Less Emotional Than Others
Your company lost the pitch to a competitor brand.
While others may be disheartened or feel discouraged, you remain calm and keep a clear head.
You aren’t exactly understanding what all the fuss is about. You don’t mean to be cold or apathetic, however — You’re just trying to be rational.
While you too feel worried, you don’t allow yourself to get consumed by your emotions.
This loss doesn’t mean the end of the world.
There’s still something that can be done about it.
Since other people might be worrying and feeling anxious about the potential implications of the unfortunate event, you become the emotional foundation that keeps the team from teetering and toppling over.
3. You’d Rather Skip The Small Talk
Small talk is a chance for people to break the ice and release work through the awkward tension.
Not everyone is comfortable with starting conversations with strangers, so people leverage how hot the weather was today or weekend plans to spark the connection.
But you see conversation more as a means to an end; an activity is done with a definite outcome; a project with a goal — why waste time talking about the weather or weekend plans?
It was hot and you have dinner on Saturday. There.
You’re eager to get those out of the way so that you can finally get to why you’re talking in the first place.
It’s an attitude that most people aren’t used to encountering.
4. You’re Unapologetic
We all have things in life that differentiate us from the crowd; we might like the movie that everyone hates, or hate the food that everyone loves.
There’s a tendency to hide these feelings because of the risk of being too different from our friendship groups.
If they think we’re too different, we might be left all alone. The horror!
But it’s these little things about us that make us distinct, unique, and even special.
You’re not afraid of being who you are.
You’ll watch any movie as long as you enjoy it, and you unabashedly love the food that you eat even if other people don’t.
You understand that life is short, so why spend it living under the opinions of others?
5. You’re Opinionated
When you’re dead set on your opinion, you’re willing to openly debate it with people who think otherwise.
You aren’t looking for violence, however, you’re just more likely to resist what other people might say if you believe that they’re wrong.
You’d rather agree to disagree than to agree just for the sake of keeping your relationship calm and laid-back.
It’s much easier to accept what’s going on around us because it takes far less mental energy to do so.
But you don’t subscribe to that notion.
News headlines get so sensationalized to the point that it’s becoming an uncommon activity to click and read through the article.
You make sure to read past the headline to form your own opinion.
You won’t be spouting unfounded opinions or impulse reactions to the latest breaking news without getting your facts straight first.
6. You Can’t Stand People That Complain
Venting out to each other could form bonds among coworkers working under a stressful boss.
But to you, complaining can only get someone so far.
One of your biggest pet peeves is when someone keeps complaining to you about their situation — but they don’t do anything about it.
When they come up to you, it’s the same complaint every time.
While at first, it could be a funny inside joke, it could eventually lead to you asking them why they haven’t done anything about it.
Other people aren’t usually comfortable admitting to their shortcomings, especially in public.
This is why people usually go along with the complaining while you ask yourself how someone could put up with such a situation without taking any action.
7. You Expect Others To Keep Up With You
Life moves forward.
You’re driven to keep moving along with it; to keep learning, progressing, and growing.
If you don’t know something, you try to figure it out.
You don’t express your opinions without doing your research and learning.
Because of this, you expect others to do their research as well.
We all grow and progress at different paces.
From your perspective, you don’t feel like you’re moving fast enough; that promotion should’ve happened 6 months ago not now, or you should’ve finished 15 books by now but you’ve only gotten through 13.
From the perspective of others, however, you’re already doing more than enough — and it’s intimidating. They have yet to reach your caliber.
8. You Don’t Concern Yourself With Others’ Opinions
People are often concerned about how they might appear to others.
They strive to be liked and worry about being hated, lest they be outcasted by society (or at least by some of their friends).
But this thinking feels silly to you.
You know you can’t control what other people think, so why bother worrying about it?
People can make their own opinions about you — you don’t care. What matters the most to you is if you’re enjoying what you’re doing.
9. You’re Not Afraid To Speak Out
When your colleague at work is being bothersome, there’s a tendency to go along with it. But you ask “Why prolong the agony?”.
You’re not afraid of bringing up your problem with your coworker; you’d rather present the painful truth upfront rather than draw it out for days, weeks, or even months.
Others might find this too aggressive, but isn’t it worse to wear a mask around your colleague and lie to them about how you feel about them?
There’s nothing wrong with being honest. The truth is what people expect and assume from others.
But you feel that people are sugarcoating their personalities too much, prioritizing being polite rather than truthful. Instead of putting up with situations that you don’t feel comfortable with, you speak out and talk to the people bothering you.
10. You’re Goal-Oriented
When you’ve set a goal for yourself, you have a high determination to achieve it.
This isn’t the most common behavior, which is why success feels like such a far-off dream for some people.
You don’t make excuses for yourself.
You take full responsibility for your actions and what you can control, and other people might be intimidated by your sheer determination to follow through on your goals.
There’s nothing wrong about dreaming — you just choose to act while others don’t.
11. You’re Open-Minded
You will naturally encounter people that cling to their beliefs like the lifeboats at the Titanic.
These kinds of people can be frustrating to talk to and argue with. This is why you like to keep an open mind.
While you have your own opinions about certain issues, you’re still interested to hear what another person has to say.
You’re more willing to accept a diverse set of opinions rather than commit yourself to a single mindset.
You shouldn’t have to change your personality to conform to what other people think is acceptable.
You should, however, still consider the social impact of your behavior.
People don’t commonly like to be around people that intimidate them; it feels threatening.
So it’s a matter of holding back a little; making others feel comfortable around you as you are with yourself.
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