Breaking the mold: 12 signs you’re defying expectations as a modern woman

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For centuries, women have been relegated to the fairer sex, the delicate flower, the prim and proper girl who is only seen and not heard.

And while women today have a lot more leeway than other women hundreds of years ago, there’s still a lot of societal pressure and expectations that women have to live up to.

But for the rebellious modern women of today, these rules are just recommendations – and there are some they wholeheartedly reject.

In a world that tells women how to act in private and public spaces, these women are rulebreakers and ringleaders of their own circus.

Here are some of the signs you’re a rebellious modern woman that breaks every stereotype or notion set upon women.

1. Your Self-Approval Reigns Supreme

Whenever you think about what to wear or what to do or how to act, it never crosses your mind what other people might think or say about you.

What matters most is what you think about yourself, and if you’re staying true to the person you know you are.

Life is short, so you focus less on gaining other people’s approval and more on living the authentic life that you choose.

You own your strengths and weaknesses, and you owe it to no one to decide what your definition of being your best self is.

2. You Wear Your Flaws, Not Hide Them

In fact, what others call “flaws”, you simply see as a part of who you are.

As a plus-sized woman, I’ve always felt the need to cover my arms because of how chunky they are.

This meant putting on a jacket or cardigan wherever I wore something with sleeves and refusing to take them off no matter how hot the weather got.

Today, I focus less on covering up what I fear others will judge and more on what makes me comfortable.

If I wear a top without sleeves, I unapologetically wear them in public.

The only time you’ll ever see me wear something to cover up is when it gets cold – and not because of how people see me.

3. You Don’t Confine Femininity In A Box

You’ve always wondered why people put so many definitions and labels on what it means to be a woman.

To you, being a woman is whatever it means to you and others. There are women who have traditionally feminine traits and personalities, and there are those who don’t.

Your definition of a woman isn’t limited to what’s conventionally accepted. Are infertile women less womanly?

You most certainly don’t think so.

Are women with short hair still women? Absolutely.

Femininity is just a construct to you, and you don’t adhere to strict rules about what makes a woman.

4. You Make No Apologies for Who You Are

Today’s rebellious modern woman is loud, outgoing, and extroverted. But she is also reserved, confident, and independent.

In other words, a rebellious modern woman accepts herself and establishes herself firmly in place without the need to adjust to anyone else’s standards.

She won’t make herself smaller than anyone else, nor will she apologize for who she is.

She commands her space and refuses to adjust or lower herself to make others more comfortable around her.

5. You Age – Just Like Everyone Else

You’ll have none of that “aging gracefully” nonsense.

You recognize that, unless you’re made of plastics, you’re going to get older.

Wrinkles, fine lines, and graying hair don’t scare you. In fact, the only thing about aging that scares you is the time you have left to live life to the fullest.

You’ve got nothing against other women who opt for cosmetic treatments.

But as a rebellious modern woman, you wouldn’t subject yourself to aesthetic procedures to impress others, but simply because you want to look your best.

Otherwise, bring on the signs of aging – you aren’t fazed about a natural change in your body.

6. You Aren’t the Victim

You’re not a damsel in distress, you are the princess who saves herself.

Your life is in your hands, and how you handle the challenges thrown at you says a lot about your character and capability.

For ages, women have been said to be weak and powerless, but you’re proof that you’re not.

While you aren’t afraid to ask others for help, you are in control of your story.

You make the most out of a bad situation and solve your own problems rather than waiting for someone to fix it for you.

People will try to knock you down, but you refuse to stay down and turn your own situation around.

7. You Don’t Need a Second Opinion for Major Life Choices

While you respect the thoughts of those important to you, you’re not someone who listens to unsolicited advice or someone to validate your decisions.

When it comes down to major decisions in your life, it’s you who gets the final say.

Whether it’s changing jobs, moving to a new city, traveling alone, or even cutting toxic people out of your life, you make decisions that you can stand behind.

It may not always be the best decision, but it’s one you take pride in because it was completely your decision.

8. You’d Rather Make Mistakes Than Live By the Rules

As a fellow rebel, this is something that’s often a pain point between myself and my mother.

If there’s a decision I have to make that’s risky and can go either way for me, my mom loves to use the “I’m older and more experienced, so do this instead” card to try and sway me.

What she doesn’t understand from my perspective, however, is that I want to experience things for myself and make my own mistakes in the process.

If I do something that has a probability of going wrong, I’ll do it anyway because that’s what my heart tells me I want to do.

If it goes wrong, then it becomes my mistake to make, which I’ll accept wholeheartedly.

I’ll give her 10 minutes to do her “I told you so” song and dance number, but I get to walk away with experience – which will always be worth it.

9. You Value Honest and Open Relationships

You don’t have the time and patience for gossip and backstabbing in your friend group.

If you sense that you’re surrounded by toxicity with people that talk sweetly to your face but criticize you behind your back, you’re ready to walk away, just like that.

However, that’s not to say you don’t value your relationships — you may be independent, but you’re not an island.

The only difference is that you value quality over quantity and surround yourself with friends who are honest and open around you.

In fact, there’s a high chance that your own friends could be rebellious modern women, too.

10. You Set Healthy Boundaries

You know how to assert yourself with any part of your life, whether it’s your relationship, career, family, friends, or your interests.

You don’t quietly suck up your discomfort or annoyance to please others and aren’t afraid of walking away or calling others out when they overstep your boundaries.

In the past, women were constantly expected to let men take over while women played a more submissive role.

But not you, the rebellious modern woman. You set up healthy boundaries and know how to enforce them.

Even if that means distancing yourself from people who don’t respect your boundaries.

11. You Don’t Put Other Women Down to Lift Yourself Up

One of your biggest nightmares is becoming a Pick Me Girl who criticizes femininity and women in an attempt to impress men.

Or, even worse, you become someone catty who promotes unhealthy competition between women.

Life is not a contest between women. In fact, you see the need to lift each other up in a world that’s so used to tearing women down.

You recognize women are diverse in their dreams, goals, wants, and needs.

From the powerhouse innovator that’s breaking the glass ceiling in her career’s industry, to the housewife who takes pride in raising her children – all women deserve to be celebrated and encouraged to pursue the lives they choose.

12. You Are Strong In Your Own Way

So many women are strong, and not just in the physical sense. A strong woman isn’t necessarily cold, distant, and averse to more feminine traits.

She can be as masculine or as feminine as she wants. She is not afraid of crying or asking for help, because she can do both and still consider herself strong at the end of the day.

A strong woman is someone who believes in herself and her capabilities.

You know that you will fall, make mistakes, and get hurt in any new adventure you take, but you don’t let that stop you from living your best life.

A truly strong and rebellious modern woman understands her worth and doesn’t shy away from pressure or having to deal with the challenges around her.

Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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