11 signs you’re a cool person (even if it doesn’t feel that way)

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We all know what the stereotypical “cool person” is supposed to look like – attractive, charming, fashionable, and confident.

So it’s easy to look at yourself in the mirror and immediately say: I’m not a cool person. 

But coolness isn’t about how you look.

Being cool is about harnessing a certain set of cool traits and characteristics, and being the kind of person people want to be around.

So before you write yourself off as not a cool person, check out these 11 signs of cool people, because you might actually be cooler than you think:

1) You Keep Your Emotions Under Control

For many people, it’s easy to “lose your cool”, and we all have our own triggers that can set us off – maybe you’re the jealous type who can’t stand to see your partner with another person; maybe you have anger issues and you fly off the handle at the slightest inconvenience.

I know I struggle with my own personal frustrations from time to time, and it’s definitely something I try to work on.

But a cool person is someone who isn’t controlled by their knee-jerk emotions.

They understand that some feelings are simply temporary, and instead of letting those feelings dictate their behavior and manifest in the worst ways possible, they know how to handle it internally – either removing themselves from the situation or just processing it in healthier ways.

2) You Can Be Happy By Yourself

One of the coolest traits you can have is not being needy – not needing other people to have a good time, and not relying on the presence of another person to define whether or not you can be happy.

This is one thing I’ve mastered over time, and it really just boils down to loving yourself.

You don’t need an entire group of friends with you every Saturday night just to have a good time.

You love yourself enough and you’re confident enough that you know how to find happiness even when you’re completely on your own, or if you’re surrounded by strangers.

3) You Don’t Let Others Define You

A lot of “being cool” comes down to being independent.

You aren’t just one of many – you’re one in a million.

You don’t wonder how other people are acting, dressing, and behaving, because you don’t care what other people think.

You do what feels right to you, every single time because that’s who you are – you, authentically you.

I know it can be difficult at times to shut out all the voices in your head making you wonder what other people are thinking.

But at the end of the day, just like anything else, all it takes is practice.

Practice the mindfulness of knowing that other people’s opinions don’t really define you.

What matters most is what you want, and what feels right and acceptable to you.

4) You Have Your Own Sets of Principles That You Stick To

There’s nothing more “uncool” than being the kind of person that says one thing and does another.

So if you’re wondering if you’re a cool person, ask yourself one question: what do you actually believe in?

What matters to you? What’s important to you? And are you consistent about it, even when it hurts you to stay consistent to what you believe?

For many people, it’s easier to simply jump ship on their beliefs when they’re truly challenged.

But cool people don’t let go of their principles so easily; they stand by their principles, dying on their own hills for no reason other than the fact that it’s important to who they are.

5) You Know How To Express Yourself

Plenty of people know what “cool” is, but they still don’t know how to act cool.

Why is that? Simple: they have difficulty expressing themselves properly.

Being cool means knowing how to communicate simply and effectively.

It means knowing how to express yourself to people, and getting others to understand what you really stand for and what your message is all about.

Personally, there’s nothing I find cooler than seeing someone who can get up on stage and capture an audience with nothing more than their words.

If you want to become cooler, then work on how effectively you can communicate.

Learn the power of words – using as few words as possible to get your point across, and structuring your logic in ways that make the most sense.

6) You Make Other People Feel Comfortable

Back in my university days, I remember one time going to a house party that a friend had invited me to, but when I arrived I couldn’t find him anywhere.

So I was at the party, just standing alone with a drink in my hand, desperately searching for a familiar face. Needless to say, my anxiety was going through the roof.

Then someone approached me. I’d never seen him before, but he instantly put me at ease.

He talked to me like I was an old friend, introducing himself and asking about who I was and what I was studying.

And the way he did it was like magic – he just had this kind of chill aura that made me feel comfortable almost immediately.

I didn’t feel like I could say anything that he would judge; he just made me feel that he genuinely wanted to get to know me. Even after he left, I felt better overall, as if I was now part of the party.

This is one of the most amazing skills cool people have – making others feel cared for, heard, and noticed.

The moment you can help a complete stranger feel at home in a new setting is the moment you can think of yourself as a cool person.

7) You Keep an Open Mind

One of the ways that cool people help other people feel at ease is by always keeping an open mind.

They may have their own set of principles that they follow, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t open to the idea of hearing others out.

As a cool person, you don’t shut other people, other cultures, and other ideas out without first giving them a fair shake.

You go through life knowing that there’s so much out that you don’t know, so you live with an open mind and an open heart, absorbing as much as you can instead of closing yourself off to it.

8) You Have Your Own Style

When was the last time you bought an outfit not because it’s what’s currently trending, but because you actually thought it was cool for you?

If you’re the type who dresses your own way, acts your own way, and speaks without a filter, then you have your own style and you’re probably a cool person.

For myself, I would say I’ve always had my own sense of style. It’s easy to follow the beat of your own drums when you don’t care so much what the world around you thinks.

But remember – there’s a difference between having your own style and just being sloppy.

Putting thought and effort into looking good still matters, even if you’re just doing it by your own criteria.

9) You Are Passionate About What You Care About

One of the first things you’ll notice about any cool person is that they really, genuinely care.

They feel like strong souls because you can’t really push them around; if they believe in something, they put their all into it.

Some people may simply say they care about something, but don’t really do anything to prove that it really matters to them.

But cool people care and act according to those passions.

They fight for their beliefs, and they won’t stand quietly in a room while others are making fun of the things they care about.

Even if it puts them in awkward, negative situations, they don’t care – what matters to them is more important.

10) You’re Confident In Yourself, Without Being Arrogant

One of my work colleagues is the type of guy who thinks he’s a cool guy, but everyone else in the office agrees that he’s actually not.

He walks around with all the confidence and machismo of a Johnny Depp-type, thinking he’s God’s gift to women and that all other guys should beg to be his friend.

But there’s nothing cool about that kind of confidence; there’s nothing cool about belittling others or putting people down.

This takes me to my point – there’s a very thin line between confidence and arrogance.

Being cool means harnessing a kind of unique confidence that comes with its own humility, like quiet confidence.

Instead of being the kind of person that pushes your confidence so outward, let your confidence shine simply by being who you are.

11) You Care About Positivity and Happiness

One of the clearest signs that you’re a cool person?

You care about the positivity and the happiness around you.

Other people let their emotions get the best of them, sulking and negatively impacting others, bringing down the entire mood of wherever they are.

Cool people understand the value of keeping their aura healthy and positive.

It’s not about faking positivity; it’s simply about not letting your own negative emotions bring other people down.

It’s about not clinging onto anything negative or toxic inside of you, and instead pushing forward, trying to help yourself and those around you improve.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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