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17 subtle signs another woman is intimated by you (and what to do about them)

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You’re gorgeous, successful, and the life of the party. And while many other women envy you, some can’t help but get intimidated by you.

And, if they are indeed unnerved by any of these things, you can spot it just by taking note of these 17 subtle signs.

And, as a bonus, I also have tips on what you could do about them!

1) She’s surprisingly quiet

You know for a fact that she’s some sort of blabbermouth. But when it comes to you, she’s radio silent.

That’s because a woman who’s intimidated by your deep personality usually doesn’t know what to say to you. And, even if she does, the fact that she needs to talk to you makes her feel anxious.

What to do

One way to check this is to engage in a conversation with her. If she doesn’t speak up, then it’s confirmed. And, if she does speak, her answer will most likely be short (or too timid for her standards.)

Alternatively, she might end up speaking jumbled words in a higher pitch (the latter is a sure sign of anxiety.)

If she chooses to remain quiet, just let her be.

2) She refuses to speak up when you’re around

Apart from being surprisingly quiet, a woman who’s intimidated by you won’t dare speak up in your presence.

She thinks your fiery personality will just throw her off – and cause her to choke or speak in jumbles.

What to do

If you can, ask her about a topic that you know she thinks of differently. If she’d rather nod than voice out her side, it’s possibly the intimidation that’s stopping her from doing so.

Again, just like allowing her to be quiet, respect her decision NOT to speak up.

3) She isn’t interested in knowing you…

Picture this: you came from vacation, and it’s your first day back in the office. Most people ask you how your holiday has been.

But not the woman who’s intimidated by you. She may say a half-hearted hello, but that’s it.

See, a woman unnerved by your presence will not want to hear anything about your life because she’s secretly jealous of you. Everything you say makes her feel menial because she hasn’t got a story as fascinating as yours.

What to do

If you think this instance is a mere fluke, you can see her ‘disinterest’ by asking something. If she just answers – and doesn’t ask anything about you –  it’s clear that she’s just not that into you.  Don’t force yourself on her.

4) But she’ll ask the people around you

Since she is hesitant to ask you directly, an intimidated woman would just ask the people around you.

More often than not, there’s no need to worry about this. She may just be really nervous around you, which is why she’d rather ask others about you.

What to do

Now I know how concerning it is when someone is intimidated by you.

But the good news is you can overcome this simply by tapping into your personal power.

You see, we all have an incredible amount of power and potential within us, but most of us never tap into it. We become bogged down in self-doubt and limiting beliefs.

Worse, we stop doing what brings us true happiness.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people align work, family, spirituality, and love so they can unlock the door to their personal power.

He has a unique approach that combines traditional ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. It’s an approach that uses nothing but your own inner strength – no gimmicks or fake claims of empowerment.

Because true empowerment needs to come from within.

In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of and increase attraction in your partners, and it’s easier than you might think.

So if you’re tired of dealing with haters and naysayers, then it’s time you checked out his life-changing advice.
Click here to watch the free video.

5) There’s no eye contact…

The eyes are the window to the soul, and rightfully so. It’s a sign that the woman you’re talking to is intimidated by your edgy personality.

For starters, it’s a way for her to convey that she’s better than you – or that she has higher social standing than you.

As INC writer Wanda Thibodeaux explains it:

“General lowering of the eyes during conversation can send the message you’re submitting to your conversation partner. But if you’re not looking at the other person at all, directing your attention to other people or things in the room, you’re essentially saying, ‘You’re not important,’ or, slightly more egotistically, ‘I get to decide when you’re important. I’m in control.’”

What to do

If you’re unsure if she intended to avoid eye contact, observe how she communicates with other people. If she manages to hold her gaze with them, then it’s apparent that she’s singling you out.

By all means, don’t take it personally. Instead, be kind and empathic.

6) But when there is, it’s only because she’s looking at you up and down

Say you finally see her looking at you. But instead of receiving a warm gaze, you just got an up-and-down look.

Needless to say, it’s an obvious sign that she’s intimidated by you.

According to experts:

“Looking up and down at a whole person is usually sizing them up as a potential threat. This indicates a position of presumed dominance, as the person effectively says, ‘I am more powerful than you, your feelings are unimportant to me, and you will submit to my gaze.’”

What to do

Keep your gaze straight. Show her that you aren’t intimidated!

7) Her body language says so

Even if a woman who’s intimidated by you doesn’t speak, you can expect her body language to betray her.

After all, these facial expressions and gestures don’t lie. It’s simply a matter of spotting negative or closed body language, and yes, it speaks for itself.

Examples of this include:

  • Crossed ankles, which shows a closed-off, uncomfortable feeling
  • Ear touching, which signifies anxiety
  • Hidden thumbs, which could be a sign of insecurity or threat
  • Neck rubbing, which conveys a sense of insecurity or stress
  • Crossed arms, which could project stress, anxiety, or anger
  • Hunched shoulders, a defensive posture meant to hide vulnerability (among many other things)
  • Hand clasping, which is a means to comfort herself
  • Eye rubbing, which could be a way to fend off stress or anxiety

What to do

If she’s closed, then be open! Show that she doesn’t have to be intimidated by demonstrating these positive body languages:

  • Head tilting, which is a sign of openness
  • Open palms, which symbolizes sincerity
  • Handshaking, which shows your mutual respect for her
  • Authentic mirroring and/or shared laughter, both of which conveys your willingness to connect with her

8) She’ll stay as far away as possible

If a woman is intimidated by your alpha-female personality, she’ll try her hardest to stay away from you.

I know this seems impossible in an office or any other social setting. But if you keep your eyes peeled, you’ll see it.

If she isn’t able to keep her distance away from you, she may try to create some space by turning her back from you.

What to do

If you want to know for sure, try to inch closer to her or the group she’s with a couple of times. If she keeps on distancing herself or facing away from you, it’s clear that she’s pretty unnerved by your presence.

As always, respect her decision. If she wants to stay away, then let her.

9) She’s constantly nervous around you

Some women often get nervous when a guy they like is around. And yes, the same applies to a lady who makes them feel intimidated.

In other words, she may get sweaty palms, a racing heart, and stomach butterflies when she sees you.

As to why? It’s because of the body’s stress response.

Nervousness, after all, is a “series of hormonal and physiological responses that help prepare you to handle a perceived or imagined threat.”

Obviously, the threat is you.

What to do

It’s good to observe how she acts around others. Is she generally strong and feisty? If she behaves the opposite whenever you’re around, it’s probably due to your intimidating presence.

What’s important here is you be kind and understanding. You don’t want her to be more jittery than she already is!

10) She’ll brag whenever you’re around

She’s done this and that, and you’re very happy for her. But, for some reason, she always brags whenever she’s around you.

She doesn’t do this to others – just you.

See, this reflects more of her – than you. As psychological counselor Linda Arnold, MA, explains it:

“People brag because they’re insecure. They want to be accepted, and they’re not confident. So it’s like their mouth tells their brain they really are good enough.

Braggers work hard – weaving elaborate stories – to get the admiration they crave.”

What to do

You can deal with an overconfident person by:

  • Understanding where they’re coming from
  • NOT taking it personally
  • Keeping your cool
  • Standing your ground
  • Distancing yourself, if possible

11) She’s quick to find faults…

Women quickly feel intimidated by women with strong personalities. So if she sees a speck of fault in you, she’ll be quick to point it out.

After all, she wants the world to see that you aren’t the perfect princess.

As Director Vinod Mangat explains it:

“Fault finding may be a clever device of ego & it serves the purpose of soothing our ego…

It also gives this intoxication of an emotional lift. Apart from taking the focus away from ego, fault finding elevates our self-esteem by decreasing the worth of somebody else.”

What to do

Talk to her and discuss options. Remember to keep everything respectful!

12) But she’s defensive when it comes to her faults

Say you’re doing reports and find a mistake in a chapter she did. Now, she did the same thing too, and you accepted your error wholeheartedly.

You thought she’ll act the same way you did when you called one out. But no, she went on the defensive.

She’s telling you it’s a fault on your part, not hers.

According to clinical psychologist Seth Meyers, Psy.D.:

“Defensive individuals often have control and power issues, and perceive anyone confronting them or holding them accountable as a threat.”

Clearly, this defensiveness is a sign that she’s intimidated by you because she believes you’re a threat.

What to do

When dealing with defensive people, you need to:

  • Understand where she’s coming from
  • Explore and ask questions
  • Mind what you say
  • Take a time out, if need be

13) She’ll compliment you

She praises you for everything that you’ve done. And while this trait seems to be the opposite of someone intimidated, it’s actually a very subtle sign.

She may be using it to manipulate you.

As psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. explains:

“If they’re insecure themselves, praisers’ calculated compliments may be their preferred way of ingratiating themselves with you or fitting in better with a group of which you may be an important member. They may deliberately go out of their way to expressly support or validate your viewpoint to win your favor.”

What to do

Acknowledge them and say thank you. Then again, you’re always free to these backhanded compliments.

14) She’s passive-aggressive

Passive aggression is another subtle sign of intimidation. This may be her way of expressing her negative feelings, such as jealousy and annoyance, in a more ‘indirect’ manner.

And why not? Revenge – made possible by passive aggression – is sweet.

Explains Signe Whitson, LSW:
“Passive aggression involves a variety of behaviors designed to “get back” at another person without the other recognizing the underlying anger.”

What to do

Call out her behavior. Maybe you’ll get to why she’s intimidated by you.

15) She tries to exclude you

I know this sounds high-schoolish, but a woman who’s intimidated by you will do her best to exclude you.

She would, for example, throw an after-office party – and purposely not invite you. And yes, she’ll post all the pictures on social media!

As to why people do it, researchers have found out that:

“Exclusion rids the group of unwanted members. It can also be used…to remove members who threaten their superior position.”

In other words, she finds you threatening, so she’ll do whatever she can to ostracize you from the group.

What to do

The good news is things don’t always have to be this way.

Like you, my self-esteem and confidence also hit rock bottom.

I felt lost until I was introduced to an unusual free breathwork video created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê. This focuses on what you need right now: dissolving stress and boosting inner peace.

I’m happy I tried this free breathwork video, for the results were incredible!

But why am I telling you about this?

I’m a big believer in sharing – I want others to feel as empowered as I do. And, if it worked for me, it could help you too.

Rudá hasn’t just created a bog-standard breathing exercise – he’s cleverly combined his many years of breathwork practice and shamanism to create this incredible flow – and it’s free to take part in.

Click here to watch the video.

16) She’ll one-up you

A woman who secretly hates you will try to prove to the world that she’s better than you. One way for her to do so is to one-up you.

According to psychologists, one-upmanship is “the art or practice of successively outdoing a rival, staying one step ahead by ​proving superiority.”

As Therapist Amanda Deverich explains, “Sometimes one-upping is motivated by a competitive streak.”

What to do

Sympathize with them. But if you can’t hold it back in, don’t be afraid to address what they’re doing. Sometimes, they don’t know they’re doing it.

17) She just doesn’t like you, that’s it

When someone is intimidated by you, she’ll hate you no matter what you do. You could be a saint to them, and still, they’ll find fault in you (among many other things.)

See, hatred occurs because their insecurities get the best of them.

As experts put it:

“They’ll compare themselves to other people, and when they conclude that the other person may be better than them or possesses traits that they don’t want to acknowledge that they also share, people may speak out against that person to project their anxiety onto them.”

What to do:

You know what they always say – haters gonna hate. Nothing you do will ever change her mind. Ignore her and, instead, take her raging hate as a compliment!

Final thoughts

Although many women support other women, you may have traits that intimidate some ladies.

It’s just a matter of understanding where they are coming from and dealing with what they’re doing respectfully.

At the end of the day, it sure pays to be the bigger woman!

 

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

Written by Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

You can reach me at [email protected]

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