Louisa Lopez
Have you ever met a woman who just seems like a nightmare? No matter what advice you give her she never takes it. She looks as though she’s going nowhere fast.
Chances are you will have heard this woman before you saw her. And then once you did you just thought, “What excuse can I make to leave?”
Did you know that there are some signs for spotting such a woman who lacks dignity and self-respect?
Keep reading to find out what they are.
1) Constant self-criticism
Have you ever heard a woman constantly say bad things about herself? Every time you’re around her does she speak negatively about herself and the things that make her useless? Or always talk about the things that she can’t do?
That’s self-criticism. She speaks like this because she believes that she isn’t good enough. Unfortunately, this behavior is disrespectful to herself and shows that she lacks dignity.
Here, a psychologist says that people who have low or no self-respect often talk badly about themselves as they are more likely to have a negative self-view.
When women like this constantly criticize themselves, they’re off-putting to others because they make situations awkward. I’m sure you’ve also experienced a conversation with a self-critical woman. I have, and no matter what positive things you say to turn the conversation around, they don’t believe it and keep it negative.
These people are hard to hang out with.
2) Lack of boundaries and people-pleasing
When you meet a woman who seems to lack boundaries, what do you think about her?
Some may wonder if she has any self-respect, because doormats are used for wiping their feet on.
When a woman puts everyone else before her own needs we often think she is really lovely. But actually, she may be a people pleaser, or lack the boundaries necessary for her to be happy too.
If she’s the one that everyone goes to for help because they know she will always help, but no one helps her in return, then, according to this article, she is the undignified doormat.
If we don’t ask for respect from others via boundaries, we will never get it. People will always treat us the way we allow them to. Sometimes, as hard as it is, we must say “No”.
3) Toxic relationships
Because women who lack self-respect lack boundaries, they may also find themselves in toxic relationships. Relationships that are not equal because they are a pushover.
Have you noticed that with any women you know?
The psychologist in this article on self-esteem says that if you haven’t got good boundaries then that often leads to being the toxic one in a relationship or finding someone controlling and ending up in a relationship with them.
Neither of these scenarios is ideal as you can imagine!
4) Avoids conflict
Another thing to look out for is a woman who avoids conflict. Have you met someone like this?
At first, we often think they’re lovely because they never fight anyone and always try to keep the peace. However, they also can’t stand on their own two feet.
Unfortunately, conflict is something we all have to face in life. If we never stand up for ourselves we will get walked on, just as we do if we don’t have any boundaries.
When I was younger I hated conflict, I was a people pleaser and would do anything possible to stay out of all arguments. But, then I noticed that no one took me seriously. I didn’t get to have my say, and when I did it wasn’t noted.
Why? Because whenever someone challenged me I’d change to see their point of view so as not to have to argue.
This got me nowhere and nothing except a lack of respect from the people around me. I had to learn to stand up for myself and face conflict.
5) Lack of goals or ambition
Confident women with dignity and self-respect know where they’re going or where they want to go at least. Women who lack this, just go around and around in circles doing the same old thing. Have you ever noticed this about some women?
According to this interesting psychological research, women tend to achieve more if they have high self-esteem because women with dignity and self-respect often make a better impression on people due to their positive, uplifting nature and can-do attitude.
If a woman without that tries to get somewhere, they’re often knocked down. Sadly, this can have a knock on effect of not bothering to try again.
6) Self-neglect
What do you notice first when you see a woman who lacks dignity? Is it their unkempt look?
How about someone dignified and confident? There’s a clear difference in how they present themselves.
The reason is because they don’t think they’re worth looking good. Usually how we feel on the inside shines through on the outside.
I remember in university I had these two friends who were polar opposites. And as I reflect, one had much more self-respect than the other.
One of these friends would turn up for a class in track pants and flip-flops, her hair looking like she’d just got straight out of bed and on the bus. Whereas the other was always dressed beautifully, ready for anything. The one who looked dignified now works for a very well-known tech company.
7) Low self-esteem
As well as looking a bit trashy, have you noticed that a woman who lacks dignity also might not be as confident as others?
According to psychologists, the reason for this is that a lack of dignity and self-respect affects a woman’s self-esteem.
They say if someone doesn’t value themselves, other people don’t value them either, and it becomes a repeated cycle that is hard to get out of. These psychologists continue to say that a lot of the other points such as ambition, and a woman’s personal and work life are also affected by low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem is one of the major reasons why someone might lack self-respect and therefore, also dignity. If you want to improve how people see you, you need to work first on how you feel about yourself from the inside. Because no one will see your potential if you don’t think you have any.
8) Self-destructive behavior
One last sign you may have noticed is that women who lack dignity and self-respect have a few bad habits.
Often these habits are destructive and keep them in that loop of feeling bad about themselves.
According to this psychologist, this behavior is called self-sabotage. Some examples of self-sabotage:
- Procrastination: where you either don’t get anything done or put everything off until the last minute and then do a rubbish job.
- Perfectionism: where you have impossible standards that neither you nor your loved ones can live up to.
- Self-medication: often drugs and or alcohol.
None of these things are healthy. Not for the person who’s partaking or the people who are close to them in life.
Final thoughts
The psychologist we read about in the first point has given out some handy tips if you’ve been reading this and thought, “Oh no, I think that’s me”. He’s said that you can change your ways and improve your self-respect. So don’t worry, just start doing!
Here are some changes you’ll need to start with;
- Figure out what your values are
- Focus on your internal qualities rather than external
- Forgive your flaws and try to find one thing every day that you like about yourself
- Pay attention to how often you have negative thoughts and try to reframe them
- Try your best not to give in to self-doubt
If you stick to these points, you’ll soon become a woman with self-respect and dignity. Imagine how that will feel! And if you know a woman who is struggling, pass her this article and see if it inspires her.
