Alexandra Plesa
When it comes to romantic relationships, feelings can fluctuate.
Some days you’re more head over heels in love than others.
But if something has been off for a while, you have reason to investigate.
Engage in a bit of self-reflection.
Listen to your gut.
And see if a change might be in order.
Here are 7 signs a woman is no longer happy in a relationship, according to psychology.
Don’t ignore the red flags.
1) She communicates less
You used to text your boo about everything, but now you hesitate before hitting send.
There’s this little voice inside your head asking if it’s even worth it.
Instead of sharing every little detail of your life, you keep things to yourself.
You’re intentionally trying to shut them out, but it feels easier to stay quiet.
When you’re not 100% sure about your relationship, you may find yourself reaching out to your partner less and less.
Lack of communication can easily ruin a relationship, according to psychology.
If you continue on this path, you soon start to realize that the emotional distance between you and your sweetie widens.
This brings us to the next point on the list.
2) She becomes emotionally withdrawn
Psychologists point out that a partner can become distant due to relationship issues, but also because of mental health struggles or an insecure attachment style.
As long as there isn’t a deeper reason why you’re tempted to keep your partner at arm’s length, you might be doing it because you’re dissatisfied with the partnership.
Emotional withdrawal looks different for everyone, as each relationship is unique.
However, there are common things couples experience when one of them is no longer invested in making things work:
- A decline in quality time spent together
- Surface-level conversation
- A lack of physical affection or intimacy
- No more future planning
While you’re coming to terms with your feelings, though, you’re actively hurting your partner – especially if they keep trying to make you open up about why you’ve been distant.
Something to remember as you contemplate next steps.
3) She is irritable
You’ve been with your partner for a while, but everything gets on your nerves lately. Little things that never used to bother you suddenly feel like major annoyances.
Your patience is wearing thinner by the day, and you snap at your boo for no good reason.
Sounds familiar?
Your foul mood might be caused by the unhappiness you feel in the relationship, even if you can’t put your finger on what’s wrong yet.
I had a friend who was crazy in love with her boyfriend, gushing over him every chance she got.
Until one day, when she started to complain. There were minor grievances at first.
He slurped his soup too loudly. He left his socks in the middle of the room. That kind of thing.
Soon, however, complaining became the default answer whenever I asked how things were going.
So, I politely inquired whether she still wanted to be with him, given that he seemed to be getting on her nerves 24/7.
She paused, sighed, and confessed she had no idea.
We humans aren’t always proficient at identifying our feelings correctly, especially when we care about the person who, turns out, is making us miserable.
Instead of addressing the real issues head-on, my friend focused on trivial matters, using them as an outlet for the frustration simmering beneath the surface.
Don’t follow in her footsteps.
4) She doesn’t fight anymore
The irritation we talked about above can cause women who are no longer happy in a relationship to pick frequent fights.
However, unhappiness can also make you go the opposite route. You begin to avoid conflict altogether.
Psychologists argue that couples should fight more if they want their relationship to be successful.
Addressing the tough stuff, even when it’s uncomfortable, brings you closer.
It teaches you how to work as a team and reach common ground.
If you can no longer muster the energy to do that, you might be looking for an escape route.
5) She keeps busy
When a woman is no longer happy in her relationship, she may find herself increasingly preoccupied with keeping busy to avoid confronting her underlying feelings.
I’m a chronic procrastinator, and when I feel unhappy about something I usually postpone dealing with the painful feelings directly until the very last possible moment.
I work overtime, go out more, or engage in escapist activities like binge-watching.
Do you function the same way?
If you have doubts about your boo, you might find yourself doing one or more of the following:
- You throw yourself into work or take on additional responsibilities to fill up your schedule
- You immerse yourself in your hobbies, to an obsessive degree
- You play video games or scroll on social media too much
- You’re constantly on the move, with little time to spare for introspection
According to psychology, ignoring your emotions is bad for both your physical and mental health.
You’ll have to confront them sooner or later.
6) She overcompensates
Women who feel unhappy in their relationships might overcompensate by praising their partner to anyone willing to listen.
They do this in an effort not to convince others of their virtues, but to convince themselves.
I had an aunt who everyone knew was in a bad relationship.
But whenever we tried to broach the subject, she shut us down by insisting that everything was marvelous and that her boyfriend was amazing in private.
It took her a long time to admit that she was unhappy because she kept denying her own reality.
Psychologists call this cognitive dissonance, which occurs when mental discomfort results from holding two conflicting beliefs.
My aunt was downplaying her dissatisfaction with the relationship by highlighting only the positive aspects.
She later revealed that she had to remind herself that every relationship has ups and downs multiple times throughout the day to avoid succumbing to her more negative feelings.
Unfortunately, trying to convince yourself that “it’s not that bad” prevents you from addressing underlying issues.
It’s time to face facts.
7) She feels trapped
While it’s normal to fantasize about being single after dating someone for a while, there’s a difference between harmless wondering and feeling trapped in your current relationship.
If your partnership resembles a cage, something deeper is likely at play.
Perhaps you’re experiencing unresolved conflicts in the relationship, which make you feel stuck in a cycle of frustration and dissatisfaction.
You feel obligated to stay in the relationship for the sake of your partner, family, or other external factors.
Alternatively, you may simply be falling out of love.
It happens.
The only way to figure things out is to address your issues directly.
Final thoughts
All relationships go through rough patches.
But if you believe your unhappiness is veering from being a phase to becoming your new reality, talk to your sweetie.
You can rekindle the spark, together.
Or, you can cut ties.
Either way, you have to slither out of your current misery.
The longer you wait, the more claustrophobic your world will become.
