Pearl Nash
How would you know a woman is falling in love with you? Is it in the way she looks at you?
The way she carries herself? The way she allows you to see her at her most vulnerable?
Or do you hear it in the way she calls your name?
I think it’s safe to say that women fall in love in different ways, with the signs manifesting differently from one person to the next.
That makes sense, doesn’t it? We’re different people. We love differently, we have different needs, and we look for different things in a relationship.
However, there are still overlaps in behavior, and psychology will help us pinpoint them.
Let’s talk about it.
Here are 7 signs a woman is falling in love with you, according to psychology.
1) She sees you in a flattering way
“Intimate partners typically perceive their relationship and their partners in a positive light or bias, a phenomenon called positive illusion.” Improving Relationships by Elevating Positive Illusion and the Underlying Psychological and Neural Mechanisms, Song et al, 2019
Ah, the rose-tinted glasses. Falling in love bathes her world in the pinky-blush hue of infatuation.
She finds your quirks cute (and not annoying). She thinks you’re *adorable* even if you’re the most intimidating person in a room, she’d still want to put you in her pocket.
She thinks you’re all that. Much like Celine in Before Sunset, she too might think that you’re irreplaceable because you’re made of such beautiful specific details.
She might even like the parts of yourself that you don’t like. She will love all of you, she sees you worthy of her love, in every angle and in the best light possible.
2) She makes it a point to learn your love language
It’s a different kind of exhilaration being loved in a way that makes you feel understood, right? For example, being loved based on your love language.
In case you didn’t know, the 5 love languages were first introduced in 1992 by marriage counselor Gary Chapman, Ph.D.
In his book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts”, he identifies the 5 love languages as acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and receiving gifts.
A woman who is falling in love with you will pay attention to what brings you joy. She will go out of her way to make you happy.
Pay attention to how she expresses her care. Does she compliment you often? Could it be because your love language is words of affirmation?
Does she initiate dates with activities you love because she understands that quality time is your love language?
Think about it.
3) She makes it a point to learn more about you and the things you love
Similar to the love language point above. She participates in your life.
She learns your likes, your dislikes, your preferences, your joys, your sadness, the pains you survived, your triumphs, and she doesn’t judge you for any of them.
She also meets your friends, she meets your family, and she becomes involved in whatever you introduce her to.
She makes the effort to do so.
4) She thinks and talks long-term about your relationship
According to psychologist Robert J. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, love is based on three things: intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment.
He says this about decision/commitment, “Decision/commitment refers, in the short-term, to the decision that one loves a certain other, and in the long-term, to one’s commitment to maintain that love.”
A clear sign of a woman falling in love with you is her thinking and talking about your relationship in the long term. Is she vocalizing her intentions?
Is she making plans? Is she excited about it? Does she see you in her future? Your relationship?
Is she committed to the idea of the two of you as a couple? If so, then she’s invested in you and this (current or potential) relationship.
5) She has you in her priorities
“The highest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you.” – Kira J, @IamKiraJ
A woman falling in love with you will bring you closer and closer to her heart.
She will care about you more and more. Put you under her wing, so to speak.
She will worry about you constantly. She will think of your name when someone talks about love. She will think of you when she hears your favorite song.
She connects you to everything she sees. She will wonder, would you like this or that?
She knows your allergies, and maybe even carries medicine for you without you asking. She considers how you would feel.
You have become a priority in her life.
6) She celebrates you
“Shelly Gable, professor of psychology at the University of California at Santa Barbara, has demonstrated that how you celebrate is more predictive of strong relations than how you fight.” – Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being, Martin E.P. Seligman
In this book, Seligman notes that there are four possible responses to someone’s news: active constructive, passive constructive, passive destructive, and active destructive.
And a relationship thrives in active constructive responses. What does this look like?
Well, like this: She’s proud of you. She’s thankful for you. She’s genuinely excited when you succeed, she offers support where necessary.
She celebrates you. There is that intention to see you win in life.
Additionally, in this article on Psychology Today, they say this, “[Shelly Gable’s] study found that people who show the most enthusiasm for their partner’s achievements have the least conflict in their relationship, enjoy more fun and relaxing activities, and have the most relationship satisfaction.”
If she’s not falling in love or already in love, she won’t put in the effort.
7) She’s consistent
And finally, she’s consistent.
You are not a passing fancy for her, she doesn’t make you feel this way. She shows up for you constantly and consistently.
She doesn’t make you doubt where you stand in her life. Heck, even looking up this article is mere confirmation on your part.
She treats you like how you treat her and she even gives back your love tenfold.
You know she loves you, she makes you feel it. She assures you of her feelings.
She’s genuine to you, you know she will walk with you through it all.
When all else fails, communicate
To know the signs of falling in love is, at best, supporting evidence. The key is communicating.
The key is vulnerability.
Unless, of course, you do not love her back. In that case, don’t disturb her peace. If you have to let her down gently, do that.
Life’s too short to play a person’s heart; if reciprocal love is not something you can give, let them find love elsewhere.
If you do love her back, if you do find yourself falling as madly in love as her, then let her know. Ask.
Life’s too short to know love just to let it go, right?
All the best with you both.
