8 signs a woman genuinely wants to be with you, according to psychology

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Love and relationships can be complicated. So it’s understandable that insecurities arise.

When you’re falling for someone, you want to know they feel the same.

After all, your heart is on the line.

Is she committed to this or could she be playing games with you?

Are her feelings for real or are they fickle?

Luckily there are strong psychological signs that help you know a woman genuinely wants to be with you.

Let’s check them out…

1) She doesn’t keep you hanging

Unless you’re majorly insecure or paranoid, doubts usually come from somewhere.

We often question how someone feels about us because something in their behavior feels vague or not quite right.

The bottom line is, that when we’re invested in someone and want to have a relationship with them, we show up.

This idea of playing hard to get is nonsense.

I’m not saying a woman will lay all her cards on the table right away.

No one wants to come on too strong or look desperate.

But when push comes to shove, the reality is that not many women will try to appear completely disinterested as a tactic to get your attention.

And if she does, it’s a huge red flag for emotional immaturity.

Most women when they’ve got something good going for them are smart enough not to risk pushing it away.

So if she wants to be with you, she will act like it.

  • She’ll reply to messages in a timely manner
  • She’ll openly communicate with you
  • She won’t run hot and cold
  • She won’t send mixed signals

Part of that also involves the next thing on our list, making herself available to spend quality time with you.

2) She’s enthusiastic about seeing you

She wants to spend time with you.

That’s clear because she makes you a priority.

It’s okay to not always come top of someone’s list.

The reality is that there are other commitments we all have to juggle.

If she has friends, family, hobbies, work, or study to fit in too, sometimes you may need to wait.

It’s a good thing that she has other interests. It means she’s a well-rounded person and a good catch.

But if she really wants to be with you, ultimately she will find the time.

If you feel like she’s making excuses or you always fall to the bottom of the list, you may be right in questioning her commitment to you.

3) You give her the giggles

Humor plays quite an interesting and important role in attraction.

Studies have noted how mutual laughter is a good indicator that a budding romance is taking place.

Yet research has found some differences between men and women.

Women are drawn to funny guys, whereas men like it most when a woman laughs at their jokes.

If she is laughing or giggling around, she’s not only signaling her desire, it lets you know she is having a good time.

Fun is clearly an important aspect that can show the strength of any relationship.

So much so that another study found shared laughter was a clear indicator of relationship well-being.

It noted that when couples laugh together it improves the relationship quality, closeness, and social support.

If you can joke around together, you know she wants to be with you.

4) In many ways, you’re her closest friend

Plenty of us fear falling into the dreaded friendzone.

But this is something slightly different.

Sure, sex and desire are one aspect of a relationship.

But when it comes to long-term commitment, those flames of passion aren’t as significant as the humble foundations of friendship.

Research has found that the happiest couples all said their significant other was their closest friend.

I’m not saying you have to be her absolute BFF and replace other close pals of hers.

Of course, it’s important for us to keep healthy connections outside of a relationship.

But if you feel like good friends as well as lovers, it will strengthen your bond.

It’s this that helps trust to flourish. You can unite over shared values and common interests.

It stands to reason that the more you get along, the more she wants to genuinely be with you.

5) She confides in you

You may enjoy a joke and have a hoot whenever you’re together.

But does it run deeper than that?

We’re talking about emotional intimacy.

Keeping things light-hearted can work for a time. But sooner or later, an emotional connection needs to form.

If she is vulnerable enough to open up to you, it speaks volumes about her feelings.

After all, it’s an exposing thing to do.

We only share the sensitive, private, and intimate parts of ourselves with people we have formed a strong connection to.

6) She respects your boundaries

This one is huge.

It protects us from manipulators or selfish people who don’t have our best interests at heart.

When someone really cares about you and wants to be with you, they respect who you are.

That means listening to how you feel and honoring your decisions.

She won’t poke at you trying to always get her own way. She won’t consistently cross a line that you have drawn.

If a woman does this, she may be purposely trying to push you away. Or it is a sign that she doesn’t value the relationship enough to protect it.

Either way, a woman who ignores your boundaries is probably not the best partner for you.

7) She integrates you into her life

In practical terms that can look:

  • Being introduced to her friends
  • Hanging out with her in groups as well as alone
  • Meeting her family
  • Her inviting you to parties she is going to
  • Going to her work functions

It’s also about whether you feel like she wants you to be a part of her world.

Do you feel included? Do you feel like she wants to show you off?

Or do you feel hidden away? Does she try to keep you separate?

There’s actually a name for this, and it’s called “pocketing”. And it may leave you questioning if someone genuinely wants you around.

If you suspect it’s happening, licensed clinical social worker Rachel Perlstein says, it’s important to talk about it.

“Strike up a conversation with your new partner about how you’re feeling and get curious. Give the person an opportunity to talk with you about why you’ve yet to meet their friends and family. It’s possible that they are not pocketing you, but their time frame works different from yours, you have different expectations about what a relationship looks like, and/or you’re both viewing the relationship differently.”

8) When the going gets tough, she still sticks around

A woman who wants to be with you will accept that it’s not always going to be plain sailing.

She is prepared to accept that you’re not perfect because nobody is.

Yet she’s seen your flaws and she accepts you.

The truth is that often only time will tell if a relationship is going to work out. Because it takes time to properly get to know someone.

In the early days, it’s easy to project what we want a new love interest to be.

But trust and intimacy are built slowly.

If a woman really wants to be with you, she isn’t going to run away at the first small sign of trouble.

She wants to work through issues and resolve conflict in a healthy way.

She won’t put unfair expectations of happily-ever-afters on you or the relationship. She is willing to put the work in because she thinks it’s worth it.

As therapists Linda and Charlie Bloom remind us: “That work is about committed listening, letting go of control, practicing vulnerability, overcoming resistance to change, being honest, even in the face of fear, and focusing on your own work rather than trying to change your partner. Like mastering any other new skill, it takes a lot to hang in there and muddle through the demanding times.”

Let’s not forget the final (and one of the most important) sign…

If a woman wants to be with you, she should tell you so.

It’s true that in many respects, actions do speak louder than words. But words are still important.

Expressing yourself and how you feel is a significant part of creating an open dialogue where you value discussing your feelings with one another.

So if you’re still in any doubt, don’t be afraid to ask her.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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