10 signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you

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You can usually sense when someone is into you.

But this married guy is just an enigma.

Sometimes he does something cute, but then there are also times when he acts cold and aloof—like you mean nothing to him.

Well, it’s probably because he’s fighting his feelings for you.

Check out how many of these signs you see in this man to know for sure.

1) He avoids you

He excuses himself the moment you enter the room.

When you try to catch him after office hours for a little chit-chat, he’ll engage with you for a bit and then try to find an excuse to get away as soon as he can.

And the most likely reason is that he’s a good man who cares a lot about his marriage, so he stays away from you in hopes that he won’t have to confront his feelings about you.

He doesn’t want to risk giving in to temptation and risking doing or saying something to put his marriage in danger.

And hey, what better way to avoid temptation and risk than to leave the scene? It would certainly be much easier than him asking you to leave.

2) His reactions aren’t quite right

There’s just something strange about the way he reacts to you.

He would laugh way too hard at something that you know isn’t even that funny. And some of the things he tells you simply don’t make sense and get you scratching your head.

And you know he’s not usually like this, because he’s much more “normal” with others.

This is a tell-tale sign that he’s trying to handle his feelings for you.

Nervousness and over-regulating one’s feelings lead to these kinds of inconsistent, uncanny reactions.

And that over-regulation and nervousness exist because well, he’s struggling with his feelings for you.

3) He gets too close, then pulls away

This guy has a hard time keeping himself in check.

On one hand, he likes you, so naturally, he would want to get closer to you. But on the other hand, his conscience and love for his family tell him to stay away.

You can notice this physically. He’d stand too close to you—almost touching you—then he’d back away like you got the flu.

You can also notice this with how involved he gets with you. He might try to help you work on a project, but then later leave you saying he’s got other things to do.

He blows hot and cold a lot like he’s not quite sure how he should act around you.

4) He makes sure you know he’s married

A married guy who’s battling his feelings for you would let you know he’s married.

There are many reasons for this.

One, it serves as a disclaimer or warning. He wants you to know what you’re about to get yourself into in case you really do decide to pursue him.

Two, it’s code for “stay away from me.” He’s being a gentleman and hoping that you’ll be dissuaded from pursuing him.

Three, it’s to test your level of interest. If you remain close to him despite knowing that fact, then it would tell him that you like him enough.

5) He looks at you with longing…then looks away

We can’t help but look at the people we admire. And that doesn’t stop even after marriage!

Besides, staring is free. So he allows himself to look at you as much as he wants… as long as you aren’t aware of it. A wise man knows his limits, after all.

And so that’s why when you stare back at him, he quickly looks away and pretends he wasn’t even looking in the first place.

He looks at you because he likes you, but he has no intention of flirting with you because he knows he can’t handle it. He might fall hard and never recover…and most married men don’t want that!

6) He tries too hard to act like a friend

Or a “brother”, or an “advisor”, or whatever.

He tries his best to present himself as someone “harmless”—as someone that you can chill with and see as anything but a romantic interest.

So when he pampers you and treats you like you’re the number one girl in the world, he’d just say “Hey, that’s what friends are for!”

By doing this, he’s basically saying that you shouldn’t interpret his actions as if he’s in love with you.

But you know it’s clearly BS because he doesn’t do the same things to others…not even to his sister or female best friend.

7) He tries to match you with other men

When you’re with other people, he’d comment on how you and another guy would be a good match.

Or he’d say that your friend or co-worker is obviously into you.

It’s bewildering, but this is another sign that he’s into you.

Men who are in love with someone they can’t or shouldn’t get into will do their best to make sure they “end” the temptation by making the object of their affection fall in love with someone else.

By doing this, he hopes to kill his love for you. After all, if you hook up with someone, not only can’t he take action because he’s married, but your new partner would also be in the way.

But of course, the moment you actually start interacting with another guy, he’ll get all weird and unstable around you.

8) He doesn’t want to be alone with you

He gets very uneasy around you, almost like a mouse stuck in a box with a cat.

He would perhaps try to sit as far away from you as he can or keep himself busy with a phone so that he won’t have to acknowledge that you’re in the room with him.

This is also why he’s reluctant to say yes to your request to walk you home or to chill at your apartment.

This is because he’s scared he’d do something that he will later regret, like him falling to his knees before you and confessing his feelings for you… or him stealing a kiss from you.

Hells, the risk of you finding out his feelings for you is terrifying to him… and with no one else around, the chances of that happening is high.

9) He’s a bit rude to you

You haven’t even done anything to him, and yet somehow he’s there being needlessly rude towards you.

What gives?

The most likely reason is that he’s trying to push you away.

It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or actually finds you annoying. Au contraire! It might be because he’s starting to really like you.

He’s putting up a wall so he won’t fall even harder.

He knows he can’t just confront you and say “Please stay away from me. I don’t want to fall in love with you.” That would be too cringey.

That’s why, if you care enough, don’t push it. Don’t take it as a challenge. The guy is trying his best to do what’s right.

10) He cares for you without making it too obvious

A guy who likes you could not help but care for you.

He may be “rude”, and he may avoid you like the plague, but when he knows you’re going through something, he’d panic and try to save you from trouble.

Of course, he will try his best to not make it too obvious.

He might give free pizza to everybody when you’re particularly stressed at work.

He might ask your common friends if you’re okay instead of asking you directly.

He might casually send a meme (even if he’s not the type) when you’re having a bad day because he knows it can cheer you up.

It breaks his heart to see you suffer. And he’s willing to do anything to help you…but he’ll do it from a distance.

Last words

If you see most of these signs on a married guy, then it’s clear that he’s fighting his feelings for you.

The best thing you can do here is to make it easier for him by staying away.

Feelings eventually pass, so let them pass—and eventually, you’ll be able to hang around one another normally again.

So for now, pass on him and be content with knowing that he likes you (or even loves you).

Engaging with a married man comes with a lot of trouble that most people frankly aren’t prepared to deal with.

Besides, there are a lot of fish in the sea. You deserve someone who’s ready and who can offer you nothing less than 100%.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

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Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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