There are three main types of attraction: emotional, physical and intellectual.
Emotional attraction is extremely important, and can often be the basis for a fulfilling romantic relationship.
But what if the person who’s become emotionally attached to you is a married man?
Here’s how to know if that’s the case and what to do about it.
1) He asks your advice about his life
The first of the important signs a man is emotionally attached to you is that he asks for your advice about his life.
A married man who just wants to have sex or distract himself with your company is not going to be having deep conversations with you.
He especially is not going to be asking your advice about his life or other such intimate matters (see point two).
If he’s wanting your take on what’s going on in his personal life, he’s definitely into you beyond the purely physical level.
2) He confides about his marital problems
Next up is the fact that a married man who is emotionally attached to you may solicit your advice on his own marriage.
He may vent about his wife or his own problems that are getting in the way of the marriage.
There’s a catch here in that this isn’t necessarily a positive or proactive thing:
He may be using you as an emotional drainage ditch and just pouring all his frustration and sadness into you.
Be sure that it’s not one-sided and that he’s not just venting to you non-stop, because if so you don’t have a relationship you have a therapist-client dynamic.
3) He’s emotionally vulnerable around you
Next in the signs a married man is emotionally attached to you is that he genuinely opens up around you.
He may tell you about a hard time growing up, about his relationship with his kids if he has any, or about his work details or future plans.
He doesn’t only try to put his best foot forward, but also gives you a window into his personal struggle and what’s challenging him in life.
The dividing line between him using you just to vent and being vulnerable can be a fine line.
But in general it’s about him reasonably opening up and communicating versus him just complaining all the time or overdoing it.
If the type of opening up he’s doing is in the first category then you’re definitely forming a strong connection here.
4) He gets down if you are out of touch for a long time
Now another of the signs that a married guy really likes you is that he gets down if you don’t respond to his messages for quite awhile.
He may have a busy schedule and so may you.
You may also not be big on texting or messaging and sometimes only getting back a bit late to what he sends.
So “awhile” here depends on what your regular flow of communication is.
In general, more than a few days or a week may noticeably make him more anxious or affectionate with you.
If this is the case it’s because the emotional bond he feels with you makes him sad when it starts to recede.
He wants some of that warm, fuzzy feeling back in his life.
5) He visibly reacts to your presence in a special way
Do you know how you get a certain feeling when you first see someone?
Maybe you smile, look away, laugh awkwardly or nod seriously. Maybe you do nothing at all, or feel kind of intimidated, scared or giddy.
We all have reactions of some kind to everyone around us, especially people we interact with, even at a store or a gas station or any everyday place.
So pay attention to how he reacts to your presence.
Does he smile and noticeably “perk up”?
Does he get nervous and seem like a schoolboy with a crush?
His visible first reaction to you speaks absolute volumes, so pay attention to it.
The above examples are signs he’s emotionally into you.
Examples that he’s not really feeling it include immediately avoiding eye contact or shifting his body away from you.
6) He remembers details of what you tell him
Men aren’t always the best at remembering what somebody tells him, so when he remembers details of what you say, that’s a special thing.
In short form: it means he likes you.
When we truly like someone we care about every word they say. We remember it, ponder it, run it back over in our head.
We think about them night and day.
It’s the same for this married guy, especially if he’s falling out of love with his wife and falling more in love with you.
You’re going to be on his mind and he’s going to be remembering every little word you say.
7) He asks about your deeper beliefs and experiences
Another of the signs a married man is attached to you is that he cares about what motivates and drives you.
He wants to know what you really believe and why.
And he’ll open up to you about the same information for him as well.
He’s not just interacting on a shallow level, but also wants to know what formed you, what inspires you, what you hate, and what you seek for the future.
8) When you’re down he gets down too
When you feel sad, you’ll notice he mirrors you.
Mirroring is something that couples do in all stages of their courtship and once they’re together.
If you’re sad or hurt, he’ll be sad too and he’ll want to do something about it.
His protector and provider instinct will kick in and he’ll be even more attentive and loving to you because of the emotional connection he feels.
Which brings me to my next point:
9) He doesn’t want to see you get hurt
If he cares about you on an emotional level then he’s going to care deeply about you getting hurt.
Anything in your life from your career to your health, family issues or more are going to have his attention and interest.
He wants to see you excel in life and be OK.
If he hears even a hint that you’re hurting or that somebody is hurting you, he’s going to give advice and really want to help.
10) He’s there for you through thick and thin
No matter what it takes, he’s going to actually try to back up his words with action if you need help.
This is a sign that he truly does care, because it’s not just about talk.
It’s about him being there for you in a dark time when he could easily just try to find a more “convenient” woman.
11) He gives you thoughtful gifts
How is this married man in terms of thinking of you and giving gifts?
Does he sometimes give you thoughtful presents or is that not an aspect of the connection you have with him?
If it is, then pay attention to the types of gifts he gets you:
Are they fairly typical and copy-paste, or do they show a fair bit of thought and care that went into them?
Do they connect to your real interests and the connection you have with him or are they just basically random?
If he’s putting a lot of care and thought into them then it’s a sign that he’s emotionally attached to you and cares about the impression he makes on you and how you feel about him.
12) He’s all over your social media
Social media is something that many people use these days including many adults.
Some couples try their best to stay off of social media, so your mileage may vary here.
But in many cases a man who is having an affair or considering having one maintains alt accounts or has one or two which he hides from his wife.
In this case, he may be liking your posts and interacting with you often from his alt accounts.
If his comments are purely superficial and sexual, forget it.
But if he’s leaving thoughtful and interesting remarks and showing his clear appreciation for you as a human being then you should make no mistake:
He’s definitely emotionally hooked on you.
13) He cares about your love life and who you’re seeing
A married man who’s attached to you emotionally or falling in love is going to see you as much more than a casual fling.
A big part of this is that he’s going to be interested in your love life.
He’ll want to know if you’re seeing someone else and what it means (if anything).
He’s clearly not “fully chill” with whatever you’re up to and has some feelings that go beyond the casual with you.
But what about how you feel?
Is this married guy the one for you or are you just a fallback option for him?
If you yourself have been struggling with finding the right man, I recommend the new book “Manifesting Love” by dating and manifesting expert Tiffany McGee.
This book has many really practical and effective tips for how to attract the right person into your life, whether that will be this married guy or somebody else.
14) He respects your limits and needs
Another of the crucial signs a married man is emotionally attached to you is that he doesn’t try to pressure you into something you’re not ready for or talk you out of something you are ready for.
In other words, if you don’t have feelings for him at this time, he accepts that as much as possible.
But if you do have feelings for him or want your connection with him to be more serious, he doesn’t try to gaslight you or make you try to beg for his time and attention.
If you want something more serious and he can’t give you that right now then he’s hopefully as honest as possible with you about that.
15) He trusts you in ways that he does not trust his wife
Another of the signs that a married man is emotionally attached to you is that he trusts you above and beyond his own spouse.
This could be in financial matters, admitting embarrassing details of his life or opening up to you about things that he prefers to keep closed from his partner.
Unlike her, he appears to see you as someone he can truly trust, or at least someone he doesn’t mind trusting with confidential or sensitive information.
This can also speak to his trust of your intelligence, intentions and overall character.
16) He discusses leaving his wife for you
Last and perhaps most of all, a sign that a married man is in love with you is that he talks about leaving his wife to be with you.
The thing about this is that you must be cautious that he’s not only doing this to lead you on or get you more attached to him.
Some married guys will unfortunately dangle these sort of vague promises as bait and that never follow through on them.
They’re going to divorce their wife any day now…
And then it never happens.
Make sure that whatever he’s saying is grounded in reality and real intention so that you don’t get taken for a nasty ride.
Where is this all going?
If you know that a married man is emotionally attached to you, then the choice is clear:
He wants to take this further. Do you?
As I mentioned, it’s crucial to ensure that talk of leaving his wife or being with you “officially” is actually going to be backed up by action.
Far too many women have been led on by a married man who perhaps truly does love them, yet ultimately won’t take that step to fully be with them.
If you trust this guy and know that he’s in it for real, it’s your choice.
If you feel the same way, go for it without judgment. It’s certainly a risk, but when has love not been a risk?
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.