Do you work with someone who seems to have a crush on you?
You may be noticing various signs but wonder whether it’s just your imagination or whether it’s reality.
Here’s how to check whether she really has the hots for you or she’s just a flirt.
1) She starts conversations with you whenever possible
Depending on what you do for work, talking may be possible on breaks or certain in-between periods.
One of the big signs a married female coworker likes you but is hiding it is that she makes an effort to talk to you, but there’s always some sort of reason.
Whenever she can she’s there talking to you about something.
Even if it’s just the bad traffic today, or the big breaking news, or the health issues you were having lately that kept you away from work.
Is she just a really talkative person or is she only really talkative with you?
2) She spends her lunch break with you or near you
Let’s move on to lunch breaks and coffee breaks. Where does she head when this time comes?
This is the equivalent of high school break time more or less.
Two of the guys are over there talking about their fishing trip, a few girls are going over a messy breakup that happened with one of them…
And there’s you and her just kind of vibing.
What’s the deal here?
If she’s the one approaching you and sitting down next to you or near you at lunchtime then there’s little doubt that she’s at least interested in being friends of some kind.
3) She wants to see you outside work but for non-romantic reasons
If you leave work for lunch or other breaks, a married female coworker who’s into you but wants to hide it, may invite you.
But purely for professional and collegial reasons, you see.
Maybe you go eat some BLT sandwiches together over lunch while throwing in a few comments about sales reports.
Maybe she mentions a place she loves to go for coffee a bit before work to power up for the day.
“Do you want to join me?”
Well … do you?
Just don’t forget about that ring on her finger and get your hopes up too high.
4) She digs into your relationship status
Any woman who’s into you will sooner or later want to know what’s going on in your love life.
This isn’t always easy to find out, especially if you’re only linked in a professional sense.
Still, she will find subtle ways to dig into your relationship status and find out what’s going on with your heart.
This could mean asking coworkers or doing things like dropping it in a casual way under a work pretext.
“I know last year was crazy for you. Did your divorce go through? I also had some issues with a new house my husband and I are looking into.”
Consider this hint well dropped.
She wants to know if you’re available, make no doubt about that.
5) She gives you the eye
And I’m not talking about the evil eye…
I’m talking about the eye…
She can always downplay this or make you think it’s in your imagination.
But the eye is kind of hard to miss. Especially if you’ve seen a woman who’s feeling desire or attraction before.
When it comes your way, you’ll notice it and feel it in your bones.
Speaking of bones:
Having a married female coworker who wants to jump your bones can be really difficult to deal with.
You may be into her, too. But you don’t want to be a homewrecker or a shitty type of guy who seduces a married woman.
So what do you do?
There are quite a few options, but I recommend a starting point as talking to a love coach.
The best site I’ve found for this is called Relationship Hero.
This site connects you up with a trained professional who’s seen every possible problem in love and sex and knows how to help you navigate it.
6) She asks coworkers about you
Another of the big signs a married female coworker likes you but is hiding it is that she talks about you to coworkers.
If she’s doing this on the down low then you may not really have any way to know.
But if word of this leaks out to you or you even overhear her, then you can be certain that you’re on her mind at least in some way.
We don’t have curiosity or ask others about someone we aren’t attracted to or interested in at least in some way.
Unless she wants your job, money or something else from you…
Then she’s asking around about your reputation and finding out more about you because she likes you.
Simple as that.
7) She does you small, thoughtful favors
Whether you work in a factory, office, online, or in another context, there’s often plenty of opportunity to help out coworkers.
It could just be letting them know ahead of time about upcoming changes to your jobs, reminding them about a meeting, or advising them about how to solve a challenge that is coming up more at your work.
It’s always a good idea to help out those you work with.
But if this married lady is going the extra mile and helping you out in thoughtful small ways then there’s a good chance she’s got the hots for you and is trying to keep cool about it.
It could be as simple as bringing you coffee just the way you like it or sending you a heads-up that the boss is being a dick today.
She’s got your back (and I won’t lie: the chance she wants you to hit it from the back is also higher than zero).
8) She puts in a good word for you with the boss
The power of a good reference or putting in a good word with your supervisor or boss can’t be overstated.
If she’s putting in a good word on your behalf, then she may be more than just an ally.
She may be a secret admirer who wants all the best for you in the way that we want for family members, romantic partners, and best friends.
In other words, she’s directly invested in you having a good outcome in your job.
She wants you to excel and flourish in your position and is willing to go to bat for you whenever possible.
9) She asks to be assigned to the same project as you
If there are projects you work on at work in teams, then watch her decisions in that regard.
One of the tells that a married woman at work is into you is that she asks to be put on projects with you.
Whether this is the same area of the assembly line, a collaborative pitch you’re doing at work, or a new area of the business that’s being expanded, the key thing to watch for is her desire to work with you.
It may be explained as a desire to work on the project, not with you.
But that’s her way of hiding it and making it more about the work.
If this lady wants to work on one thing that happens to be with you, don’t read into it.
But if she’s consistently showing up to collaborate and ask to collaborate with you on work projects then it’s probably more than just the professional matters that are drawing her interest.
10) She makes friends with you, with a flirtatious edge
Befriending work colleagues can be a really smart idea, especially if you have a job where it can get stressful or boring.
Knowing that you’ve got each other’s backs in more than a purely impersonal way can actually be motivating and empowering.
Of course, if it goes too far into many different work relationships, factions and infighting then work friendship can become counterproductive.
But generally speaking, having work friends is a good thing!
If this married woman is making friends with you at work, you’re likely to interpret it as purely platonic friendship, which it will maybe…
But if flirtatious jokes and teasing is working its way into the work friendship then she may have other plans in mind for the two of you down the road.
11) She vents with you about her work issues
Those of us who are extremely fortunate love our jobs. Many others don’t have that luxury and work in places and roles that they detest.
If you’re at a job which leans in this direction then you likely know how frustrating it can get and how much colleagues often vent to each other.
So who’s her go-to work pal to vent?
If it’s you, don’t take it for granted that you’re in a purely friend role. Venting to someone is an act of trust and it can also become the basis of intimacy.
This is a sign a female coworker likes you:
She vents to you about her work frustrations and even edges into venting about other things in her personal life (which I’ll get to a bit later on here).
12) She chats with you a lot online
If you have a work network or work online, one of the big signs a married female coworker likes you but is hiding it is that she makes excuses to message you.
“Hey, did you see about X?”
Well, nothing wrong with a little banter and some work-related chat, right?
But is she messaging you like crazy on an ongoing basis?
It could definitely be more than disinterested collegial courtesy.
This can typify the behavior of a married woman who’s feeling lonely and is interested in someone else at work (you!)
13) She sends you funny jokes and memes
Who doesn’t love a well-timed joke or meme?
I know I do.
And if she’s sending them to you then it’s a good sign she wants to make you laugh and find her way to your heart.
They could just be for fun, sure.
But jokes and memes are also increasingly becoming today’s love language.
So keep an eye out for this married woman and her use of humor.
14) She helps you advise problems at work
In addition to venting at you about work issues, another of the top big signs a married female coworker likes you but is hiding it is that she plays that role for you.
She listens to your frustrations, issues, and confusions and helps you out with it.
She’s got your back and cares about what you’re going through.
She’s your work therapist and always has an ear to lend when it comes to what you’re going through at your job as well as ideas on what to do about it.
15) She hints at dissatisfaction in her marriage
Like I said in point 11, sometimes venting to another person can become the basis of an intimate relationship.
It’s a trusting thing to do to open up to someone.
This is especially true if your married female colleague is admitting that her personal life isn’t exactly tops.
Now it may not be as direct as saying her husband bores her or she feels disrespected or neglected in her personal life.
But one way or another, watch for her to let you know that she’s feeling sad and alone in life.
This is your cue.
Where do you go from here?
If you have a married female coworker who’s got the hots for you, it can be an awkward position.
Like I said, you don’t want to be a homewrecker…
But if you’re feeling it too then you may be tempted to act on the attraction.
If you’re not into her then you may be feeling awkward about how to reject someone when they’re not even technically hitting on you anyway.
How do you make it clear to her that you’re not interested when she hasn’t even been direct that she is interested? It’s a great question!
So what should you do?
I’d also like to recommend Relationship Hero once again. These love coaches know their business and have helped me with other issues in the past!
Work and love don’t usually mix, especially when it involves married people, but the world is a crazy place and anything can happen.
Just make sure to keep your head screwed on and look after your heart.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.