8 signs a man’s attraction for you isn’t just physical, according to psychology

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Have you ever met someone new and felt like you’ve known them forever right off the bat? Or have you been strongly attracted to another person, but not necessarily just physically? 

If you’ve answered yes, you probably understand the pull of emotional attraction. You know, when you’re enamored by someone’s quick mind, good-heartedness, or sense of humor over their outward appearance.

Emotional attraction is a deeper level of attraction because it not only pulls you together initially but helps your connection grow in a lasting way.

Psychological research suggests that, unlike the hormonal uproar of physical attraction, emotional attraction is based on less superficial considerations. Qualities like a person’s values and personality traits take precedence over just a pretty face.

So, it’s no big surprise that emotional attraction is far more important for the long-lasting success of a relationship than mere physical attraction alone.

So, how can you tell if a man is emotionally invested in you? Obviously, the most surefire way to get an answer is by asking them.

But what fun is that? 

But it is good to understand what you should be looking for, so here are a few examples of emotional attraction so you can reach your own conclusions. 

1) He always goes above and beyond for you 

Here’s your first clue: when a man is interested in more than a physical relationship with you, he’ll go above and beyond to convey his feelings for you any way he can.

Need to vent? A ride to the airport? A few groceries while you’re sick? Your man will be more than happy to lend a hand.

This is your go-to guy, and he’s proud of it.

2) He brings you to meet his people

If he takes obvious glee introducing you to his family and friends, he definitely sees you as more than a booty call

Odds are this man can envision sharing a future with you. He would never bother sharing your existence with his nearest and dearest if he saw your association as temporary or purely sexual. 

He wants to share you with his people because he’s proud of you and thinks having you in his life is akin to winning the lottery.

His hope is that his loved ones will see you in the same light as he does. If he wasn’t pretty sure they’d share his sentiments he wouldn’t bring you around. 

He wants them to be happy for him, and maybe even a little envious.

3) He loves talking with you

We’re talking about shooting the breeze here, not him baring his soul to you. Not just yet, anyway. 

At this point, we’re talking about conversation and lots of it. The topics include anything and everything.

According to relationship experts, these discussions don’t necessarily have romantic undertones. Idle chit-chat is the prelude to the important conversations that “Psychology Today” says couples should have before making a serious commitment. 

When you are emotionally attracted to one another, your conversations are epic. They range from the mundane (“You’ll never guess who I ran into today!”) to the serious (“My father needs surgery”).  

So if your man is comfortable to share whatever is on his mind, it’s a good sign that he knows you’ll understand where he’s coming from and that you’re not judging him for his feelings.

Sharing the many facets of his life with you is a clear indication of emotional attraction.

4) He opens up to you 

Now we’re really getting to the meat of the matter.

As silly as it is, even today most men have grown up with the notion that sharing their feelings (or even acknowledging they have any) is effeminate or unmanly. 

This mindset is not only false but harmful. It leaves men ill-equipped to deal with their emotions and unable to process them in a healthy way. 

But if a man is really invested in you emotionally, he may feel more comfortable being vulnerable and sharing his feelings, with you at least.

This is a biggie, as it’s a significant sign of trust and his willingness to connect on a deeper level with you. 

Naturally, not every man struggles with opening up to others, and women can also have a hard time sharing their feelings. Truth is, anyone can have difficulty with emotional vulnerability


But when someone you’re close to bares their soul to you, it’s pretty obvious that they trust you and care about you.

5) He keeps in contact

If your guy is an ace at calling, texting, or messaging you, he’s probably emotionally attached to you according to psychology. His level of communication reveals that you’re always on his mind, and receiving a return call or text from you makes his day. 

This guy won’t ghost you like a dude who’s only warm for your form. He wants a future with you, not just a fun time.

6) He wants to be around you 

Is your fella around more often than not? Is he never too busy to hang out with you? If you two are practically attached at the hip it’s a pretty much fool-proof sign that a guy is attracted to you.

He’ll happily spend all the free time he used to allot for hobbies and relaxation with you, even with his friends and family. That’s because you’re now a top priority in his life. 

7) He wants to do stuff with you

And, you know, just not to you.

Experts agree that sharing experiences with someone is a great way to get to know them. Exploring. Traveling. Visiting museums and going to concerts. A dinner at a seaside restaurant or a picnic lunch under an oak tree. 

You get the idea.

If a man plans these kinds of outings for you to share, they’re saying loud and clear that they enjoy experiencing life with you by their side

After all, doing stuff together reveals a lot about your temperaments and how well they mesh. See how your partner reacts to unexpected delays and missed connections can be a revelation.

8) He asks for your advice 

If your man asks for your advice and wants your opinion before he makes important decisions, he likes you, respects you, and appreciates you.

Isn’t that what we all want?

Whether it’s to accept that new job offer or your take on what show he should binge next, your opinion means something to him.

Asking for your input is just another of the many ways he tries to include you in his everyday life.

Final thoughts

Emotional attachment and that feeling of closeness you have with another person can transform new acquaintances into successful long-term relationships. 

Having a rock-solid mutual emotional attachment is probably the most indispensable factor used to determine your odds of achieving a happy, long-lasting union. 

Our collective desire to find someone who shares similar interests, as well as our core values, goals, and even pet peeves is a prime motivator in many of our lives.

We all want to find somebody who just gets us without needing weeks of backstory first. Someone who gets excited over the same things as you. A partner who appreciates and shares your quirky sense of humor.

That’s living the dream, right? May your own dreams come true in the best way possible for you.

Kathy Copeland Padden

Kathy Copeland Padden lives in a New England forest paradise with her cats, kid, and trusty laptop. She has been writing since age 8 and is such a pack rat she can back that up with physical evidence. Music is her solace and words are her drug, so her house is strewn with records and books. Watch your step.

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