10 signs a man will be loyal to you for life, according to psychology

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Loyalty seems to be a rare trait these days. But even though loyal men might be a dying breed, they are definitely still out there. 

The question is: where?

And how can you know if the man you’re dating will be one of those rare gems?

It all comes down to the early warning signs and early positive indicators that show a man is likely to be faithful or not. 

Let’s delve into the primary characteristics that show whether a man will always be true to you. These can be seen early on in a relationship and tell you all you need to know about whether he’ll remain true to you or not. 

1) He tells the truth (even about the small stuff) 

Honesty is an irreplaceable quality in a man. 

The guy who tells the truth about the small stuff is also going to be much more likely to be honest about the big stuff. 

This is crucial in a relationship, especially when he’s asked to tell the truth under pressure or when he’d rather not discuss something. 

If he opens up, he’s going to be the kind of man who will stay true to you without cheating and without hiding upsetting secrets from you. 

As Ayal Hochman points out:

“Honest people try to understand and empathize with the feelings of others. They respect the needs and different perspectives of others.”

2) He consistently opens up to you 

Many women start dating a guy who doesn’t communicate much in hopes that he will eventually open up. 

When that doesn’t happen, these unfortunate women do their best to adjust or struggle with feelings of frustration that they try to push down. They may confront their man as well, only to be met with confusion from his end on trying to live up to a communication level he doesn’t feel comfortable with.

Everyone is different.

But the truth is that a man who doesn’t communicate effectively is much more likely to hide things from you and undermine your trust further down the road. 

That’s why a man who demonstrates openness in articulating his thoughts will be true to you down the road. 

3) He doesn’t shut down during rough patches 

When things get tough, nobody wants a whiner or a perpetual victim. But a man who can open up about how he’s doing and keep talking to you is definitely necessary. 

The man who will be loyal to you for life is a guy who keeps being honest and open even in the face of adversity.

He goes out of his way to engage in constructive dialogue and seek mutual understanding with you even when there are tensions between you or strong disagreements. 

The opposite of this is known as alexithymia, and is the tendency of people to shut down when they feel pain or have issues. 

“Alexithymia serves as a temporary, albeit meticulous, defense against emotional pain whereby a person suppresses or represses the conscious experience of the distress,” notes psychologist Kate Balestrieri Psy.D., who also notes that:

“Subclinical levels of alexithymia were found to be more prevalent in men. 

While not ‘normal,’ the trait has become ‘normalized’ due to the reinforcing nature of performative masculinity that demands stoicism.”

4) He’s self-aware and true to himself

Staying open and communicative during tough times requires a certain level of self-awareness. 

The kind of man who doesn’t duck and hide or go off and cheat when he’s angry is a man who’s able to face difficult emotions and situations without flinching. 

He has a deep-seated understanding of himself and combines that with rock-solid authenticity

He’s true to who he is, which makes him also true to everybody else, including you. He knows himself and he is committed to a life that’s true to himself and those around him. 

If he’s in a relationship with you, he’s in it for real.

5) He’s forthcoming about his sexual preferences and experiences

Openness regarding sexual desires and preferences is a crucial part of a relationship. 

The kind of man who is transparent about what he likes in bed and how he feels about sex and sexuality is the kind of man who will be with you for life. 

Instead of playing a sexual role he thinks he “should” play, or hiding his real desires, this guy tells you what he really wants and wishes to hear what you really want, too. 

He’s open to exploring sexuality and intimacy for real, which means he has no plans to go looking for lovin’ elsewhere.

“Sex makes closeness more accessible, perhaps, but often, fulfillment is transient,” notes psychotherapist Judy Scheel Ph.D.

“Sometimes, the lack of a sexual response is a physical manifestation of how we feel in life or about a sexual partner; our body speaks the truth where our mind cannot.”

6) He has decent self-control

Self-control is a crucial trait for a loyal man to have. He doesn’t have to be perfect, and we all get tempted:

But he does his best and he’s able to be disciplined when he sets his mind to it. 

If you just started dating, watch his ability to stick to a schedule, a diet, commitments and his own promises (even on small things). 

How he behaves in scenarios that necessitate self-control, such as shopping or eating says a lot about his later behavior in a relationship. 

The self-disciplined man will be loyal to you for life; the guy who can’t (or won’t) restrain his impulses will most often break your heart. 

7) He’s not over-defensive or playing a part

The man who will be loyal to you for life is not overly defensive about his own character or flaws. 

He admits his shortcomings, although he doesn’t revel in them or self-deprecate a lot like a low-confidence man will do.

He isn’t playing a part of the “nice guy,” nor does he feel the need to act perfect. He understands cheating is common and a temptation for many people. It’s just that he personally would never do it. 

And it’s that authenticity that ensure you can trust him. 

As Scheel notes:

“Authenticity is a space of honesty, integrity, the desire for creativity, and responsibility for one’s actions. 

It is one’s truth that someone can never substitute for anything else or any compromised understanding.”

8) He’s faced his own shadow and flaws 

Confronting and reconciling with our shadow is no easy task, as psychological pioneer Carl Jung explained. 

But without facing unresolved desires, fears and struggles – which Jung called the shadow – we are beset by overwhelming impulses, confusion and going astray in ways we don’t wish. 

That’s why a man who will be loyal to you for life has faced his own shadow. He knows his flaws intimately, and he knows what he wants to improve in himself. 

He’s far from perfect, but he’s aware and he’s improving. And when he commits, he does so with his whole heart. 

9) He’s aware of his family patterns and traumas

He’s fully aware of familial traumas and how they can impact relationships. 

He’s done therapy, inner work or meditation in order to understand the formative influences of his parents and family dynamics and how that shaped him, and he brings this awareness to his relationship to you. 

This is particularly true of parenting, where trauma from younger years often reasserts itself even without a man realizing it.

As psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis, LCSW notes:

“In times of stress—which are likely frequent while parenting—we often resort to what we know, and if our developmental years were traumatic or dysfunctional, it can be difficult to break those habits.”

10) He’s loyal to others in his life

This man is loyal to others in his life and is an all-around solid guy. 

He doesn’t double-cross friends and he has a good reputation at work. He has flaws, but he would never be accused of being a hypocrite.

He’s loyal in every way you see him, and when he commits – to a job, to a mission, to a promise – he keeps it. 

This all points to him being a man who will be loyal for you to life, because his psychological mindset is one of commitment and solid trust. 

The bottom line

The man who will be loyal to you for life is authentic, honest and emotionally mature

He communicates consistently and is open about what he’s going through, doing his best to be there for you in the relationship and making his needs plain. 

He doesn’t hide who he is or play a role to live up to what he “should” be, and his loyalty comes from a place of voluntary commitment and rock-solid choice. 

He wants to be your man. And that’s not going to change. 

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