Paul Brian
So you’ve got a guy in your life and you wonder whether he’d make a good husband. How can you know?
If he puts a ring on it can you look forward to a life of bliss or are you destined for a twenty-year migraine?
Outer appearances can be deceiving, but if you look closely the following signs will let you know whether this guy is truly worth your time and whether he’s your forever … or your “for never.”
Here’s how to tell…
1) His life is built on respect
This guy respects himself and those around him.
He’s not overly nice and he’s not a people pleaser, but he is respectful. He looks people in the eye when he talks to them and follows up on the promises he makes.
You notice that this fellow is respectful to everyone. He doesn’t suddenly act all mature and competent when you’re around, that’s just how he is all the time.
2) He’s emotionally stable
The next key attribute to look for in a spouse is emotional stability.
Some of the greatest artists and geniuses of history have created things which changed the world, but they didn’t make great partners.
Being able to calm the storm within and handle emotions, is a vital part of those who end up being an excellent husband.
Professor of psychology Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph. D. puts this well:
“The personality trait that affects our relationships most is emotional stability.
Those who lack it tend to be moody, touchy, anxious, and quicker to anger — all traits that make someone more difficult to live with.”
3) His words line up with his actions
This guy doesn’t just act respectful and legit, he actually is.
When he talks about what he’s going to do, he does it. When he speaks about his values, he backs that up with his actual real-world behavior.
There are plenty of men out there who can talk a good game. But what about their actions in the real world? What about what they do when nobody’s watching?
This ties into the next point.
4) He knows who he is and he stands by it
The kind of man you want as a life partner is not wavering about who he is or what he believes.
He has a firm identity and a depth of life experience that has made him who he is and solidified what he stands for in a confident way.
This gives him stability in what he will or will not tolerate and makes being with him a reassuring experience.
“Those fortunate souls who know who they are, what they can give, what they need in return, and who live life synonymous with what they expect of others are people who have suffered their losses and reveled in their joys,” observes psychologist Randi Gunther, Ph. D.
“They have found ways to integrate the totality of their life experiences in a composite of quiet confidence.”
5) He’s affectionate and expressive
The man who’s worth your time as a spouse is not a block of wood.
He’s able to process his emotions without taking them out on you, but he’s also expressive and affectionate. He lets you know he cares and voluntarily goes out of his way to be there for you.
Even if he’s not a big talker, he does his best to express how he’s feeling to you and to be a true partner to you.
He doesn’t just drop in on you from time to time, he’s your guy and you know it.
6) He’s generous and thinks of others
The man you want for your future husband is generous and thinks of others.
He gives of his time and energy to contribute to people around him and genuinely enjoys helping others.
He looks after himself too, of course, but he understands at a deep level that he’s not the only one who matters, and he brings that awareness into the relationship.
As clinical psychologist Forrest Talley, Ph.D. writes:
“Those who possess a generous nature are not likely to view themselves as the epicenter of the universe…
If you want to go through life with someone who enjoys sharing the adventure, rather than insisting on being the center of the adventure, find a generous soul.”
7) He cherishes each moment you have
The amount that a man values you is crucial in determining whether he’d be a good husband.
This is why having high self-esteem and self-value is essential. You’re worth everything good that comes your way, and you need a man who feels exactly the same way.
He loves you to the extent that he truly values each moment with you. The feeling you get with him is: “this guy wants to be with me right now more than anything,” not “this guy feels kind of whatever about being with me right now.”
8) He prioritizes the relationship with you
He’s not a simp by any means and he has his own life. But you can tell he really loves you.
He puts his relationship with you first and wants to provide a great life for you in every way.
Your relationship matters to him, and it’s obvious to you that he’d choose to be with you even if another more attractive woman walked by.
He’s not with you just for looks or temporary entertainment. This isn’t a phase or a relationship he’s fitting in while he has time or space.
He wants to be with you and it comes first for him.
9) He listens to you and values your input
Even when he doesn’t agree, this guy hears you out.
He’s willing to be patient and hear what you’re saying without always having to steer the conversation or be the one in control.
On big decisions especially, this man is hearing what you’re saying and truly taking it into account, not just blitzing past with his own way of doing things.
You may even know more than him about some subjects, and he’s fine with admitting that.
No mansplaining here, folks!
10) He’s patient and willing to think long-term
There are some very charming guys out there who don’t last a week in dating because they’re just so unreliable.
They go for immediate gratification and head for the hills as soon as any real commitment is called for.
This guy is not that, in fact he’s the opposite.
He’s willing to think long term and put off immediate gratification, even when he could do so.
11) He doesn’t get easily upset
Agreeableness is an extremely important quality in relationships and in choosing a husband.
You do not want a man who is a pushover or agrees with you to try to get your approval. This is deeply unattractive and simp-ish behavior.
However, you do want a man who is generally agreeable and doesn’t get upset too easily by the inevitable ups and downs that occur throughout the day.
No matter how attracted and connected you are with a man, if he makes you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him then he’s not going to make a good husband for you.
As licensed psychologist and author Seth Gillihan, Ph.D. notes:
“Agreeable partners maintain several strong, healthy friendships, and their past romantic relationships ended relatively amicably.
They aren’t easily upset with you, and you don’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them.”
12) He’s proud of your wins
He’s very proud of your wins and celebrates your milestones.
He doesn’t see the relationship as a competition or a situation in which one of you has to do better than the other to be happy.
He wants both of you to succeed and he’s genuinely happy when you have great things going on in your life and successful milestones you’re hitting in your life.
