Marcel Deer
“If you want to know if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss. That’s where it is.”
That’s what the 1957 Shoop Shoop Song (It’s In His Kiss) claims. And maybe we ought to end this article right there.
Actually, wait a second.
The question here is how you know a man will always love you, and that song doesn’t quite explain the whole thing.
After all, isn’t love fleeting?
To be perfectly honest, nobody can ever say with 100% certainty that a man will love you forever. But psychological studies have uncovered a whole lot of patterns and indicators that can give you a very good idea of whether a man’s love is true and lasting or not.
And there’s a whole lot more to it than how he smooches.
So here are seven signs a man will always love you, according to psychology.
1) He likes you.
I feel funny for even writing that, but you’d be surprised how many people seem to overlook this simple factor.
If we think of love as some deep emotional connection we have with another person. It’s intimate and caring and can, therefore, be both wonderful and also cause pain and sacrifice.
Liking your partner, on the other hand, is a fun and hedonistic experience. Liking comprises a sense of similarity, respect, and admiration for the other person.
Research from 2016 found that partners who like each other have very high relationship satisfaction.
And guess what that means?
If you’re satisfied with your relationship, there’s a great chance that it will last the test of time.
I have a friend who fights with his wife almost non-stop. Every day is filled with drama as they fight, pout, and sulk, forgive each other, and come back together again.
Every day – seriously!
What’s the issue?
While they both claim to love each other and feel attachment and affection for each other, they don’t seem to like each other much at all. They have very little in common and come from such different backgrounds that they can hardly relate.
But if your man likes you and you like him, your love has a way better chance of lasting.
2) He’s very positive and supportive.
When a man loves you, he’s going to be happy when he’s around you.
But if his love is built on a firm foundation and will last a lifetime, it takes more than just a few fleeting good feelings.
The way he behaves toward you is going to be a big sign that he’ll go on loving you into the future.
We all think of a supportive partner as someone we can lean on or even cry on when times get tough. You want someone to live out the Simon and Garfunkle lyrics:
“When you’re weary, feeling small / When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all.”
If your man gives you support when you’re having a hard time, that’s super important.
But according to research, it’s just as important how he responds to you when you’re doing well.
When you’ve had success or good news has come your way, a great partner will celebrate this happiness in your life. He’ll praise you and tell you that you deserve it rather than saying nothing or, worse, getting jealous and competitive.
That’s one way you’ll know your love is durable and will last a long time.
3) He has compassion for you.
What does it mean to give someone compassionate love?
Experts suggest that this kind of love is giving of yourself for the good of your partner. For this love to be authentic, it has to be given freely and without concern for yourself.
You also need to have a clear and accurate understanding of the other person’s needs, strengths, and weaknesses in order to be able to treat them with compassion and give them what they need.
If this sounds a lot like the unconditional love you often see between mothers and their children, you’re right. Those relationships are typically full of compassion and understanding.
Is this the kind of love your partner has for you?
If he always seems to know what you need and gives of himself to make sure you get it, then he has compassionate love for you. And this is the kind of love that will be around long after passion and attraction have diminished.
4) He doesn’t pay attention.
Wait a second here.
Haven’t I just finished talking about compassion and how you need to understand a person and their needs deeply to be able to provide it?
Yep!
So, how is that inattention? Isn’t that the exact opposite?
OK, so I’m trolling you a bit here.
Yes, you need your man to pay attention to you, and if he doesn’t, then your relationship probably isn’t going to do very well.
But you know what does predict that love will last better than almost anything else?
According to this study, it’s if he doesn’t pay attention… to his potential alternatives.
In the study, subjects were given the opportunity to spend all the time they liked looking at pictures of attractive people. The researchers found that the longer people looked at the pictures, the higher the chances their relationships were to have ended when they did follow-up interviews.
What does this show?
If your man doesn’t spend time checking out other people, it means his love is going to last.
It means that instead of spending all his time with his head bobbing around at the people he could be with if he wasn’t with you, he stays focused on his relationship.
This is a really good sign your love is solid and strong.
5) He trusts you.
Another great sign of real love that will last is that your man trusts you.
Instinctively, I’m sure you know that, but you might be surprised at the reasons why.
When you feel the rush and exhilaration of falling in love with someone, all sorts of things are happening in your brain and body.
We all know that in this state, we’re a swirl of hormones and endorphins that can make us feel great but also act in strange ways.
One of the chemicals you get a lot of is oxytocin, which is often referred to as a bonding chemical. It’s released when a mother breastfeeds her baby, for example, helping to build this critical bond.
Well, it works for couples as well.
And one of the effects of oxytocin is that it helps to build trust, loyalty, and devotion between partners. These factors stick around even after the oxytocin has faded from your system, helping to create long-term relationships that can give support and protection over the long term.
So if your man trusts you, he’s more likely to love and care about you well into the future.
6) He’s truly affectionate.
What does it mean for a man to be affectionate?
The dictionary will tell you that this means feeling and expressing tenderness and fondness.
Your personal experiences will probably help you relate better to a hand on the small of your back or a look that says “I love you” from across the room.
Or maybe they won’t.
Because affection like this isn’t expressed in all relationships, even though they might still be loving.
Keep in mind, though, that people have very different ways of showing their affection. These come from the models of affection they had as kids, as well as their personal styles.
Some people can’t get enough of PDAs like smooching or even dry-humping in public. For others, a simple smile or a few words can express just as much affection.
The important thing is whether it’s there or not.
Researchers contrast this with sex, which can be purely physical or based on lust. They suggest that affection is helpful in promoting long-term relationships.
It also helps you get the most out of sex.
Sex alone gives you some purely athletic benefits, but if affection is thrown into the mix, more health and psychological benefits are produced.
7) He dares to be open with you.
Sure, a man can love you, but will that last if he’s not completely open with you?
What helps a lot of loving relationships last forever is the ability of both partners to take intimate risks by opening up and revealing their vulnerabilities.
If your man can do that with you, daring to tell you his deepest desires, his biggest mistakes, and his darkest fears, then it means he really loves you and is invested in making this love last.
Final thoughts
We’ve just looked at seven signs a man will always love you, according to psychology, and I hope these are things that you recognize in your relationship.
If not, they may come with time. But if you’re not seeing any of these signs or, worse, you’re seeing the opposite, it might be time to have a serious think about the state of your relationship.
