8 signs a man will always be loyal, according to psychology

Everyone is looking for a good guy, but sometimes we get sucked in by the bad boys.

Deep down though, we know the value and virtue of loyalty.

It’s this that gives us a sense of security and trust in our romantic relationships.

But are you getting in from your beau?

Luckily with the help of a little psychology, there are some telltale signs that show a man is more likely to stay loyal. 

So let’s take a look!

1) He’s never cheated on an ex

There’s no getting away from it:

Past behavior is still one of our strongest indicators of someone’s future behavior.

I’m not saying that people don’t change. They certainly do.

One silly slip-up in your younger years doesn’t mean you are destined to be an unfaithful partner for the rest of your life.

But we can’t ignore the stats either.

Research shows that people with a history of cheating are three times more likely to cheat again.

As clinical psychology researcher Kayla Knopp from the University of Denver points out:

“The past matters for relationships. What we do at every step along the way in our romantic histories ends up influencing what comes next — whether that’s infidelity or cohabitation or a bunch of other relationship behaviors. That history tends to come with them.”

The reality is that your man has left clues as to how loyal he is within his past.

If he has remained true to romantic partners in the past, then he’s more likely to be faithful to you too.

Of course, knowing this may rely on him being honest with you about it.

2) He’s consistent

There’s no denying that the guy who keeps you guessing can have a certain appeal.

Psychologically speaking, that’s usually because we tend to want what we can’t have.

So in a strange way, the man who shows up for you can become less desirable because of his consistency.

But when it comes to loyalty, consistency is key.

A lot of it comes down to the very psychology of loyalty itself.

As pointed out in Psychologs, we’re hardwired to prefer consistency as part of our human nature. Because the loyalty we show one another helps us stick together and stay safe.

This has been passed down in our genes.

A man proves his loyalty through this consistency toward you. That means he is dependable in day-to-day life.

He shows up when he says he will. He doesn’t over-promise, only to let you down later.

Consistently being there for someone is a strong indication of loyalty.

3) He’s open about his flaws and not just his good points

This one essentially comes down to total honesty and transparency.

Because as we all know, when something seems too good to be true, we should tread carefully.

None of us are perfect, so if I guy presents himself as a total Prince Charming, it can be a red flag.

There are likely sides to him he hasn’t shown you.

Someone who is completely truthful isn’t afraid to let you see their weaknesses as well as their strengths.

If a guy is loyal, he has nothing to hide. So he will value full transparency in the relationship.

That’s not just transparency in his actions, it also includes transparency in his thoughts, feelings, and experiences too.

Open communication always fosters trust and strengthens the bond between two people.

4) He is emotionally available

It’s sad to think that an element of loyalty can come down to the fickleness of timing.

But we can’t ignore the stage of life that we’re in and how it impacts our willingness to commit.

An emotionally available man is more likely to show you loyalty because he can show up and connect on a deeper level.

A Peter Pan type who is perpetually dodging anything serious is less likely to prioritize his partner’s emotional well-being over his own.

Research has shown how much customer loyalty is driven by a brand’s ability to create a quality relationship that keeps them coming back, rather than going to the competition.

The same principle applies in romantic relationships too.

The more emotionally connected someone is to you, the more loyal they remain. This ultimately rests on how emotionally available a man is.

5) He tries hard to understand you

I do think you can have love without understanding someone. But whether you can have a committed relationship that works without it is more open for debate.

Your bond is bound to suffer when one (or both) of you feels misunderstood. It gets in the way of that all-important emotional connection we discussed above.

A man who is capable of empathy will find loyalty easier too.

Because empathy is about not just understanding where someone is coming from, but being capable of knowing how they feel.

When we can empathize with others we’re less likely to screw them over. It helps us to create a shared identity together, so we feel more like part of a team.

Empathy is the catalyst for other key components of loyalty, such as kindness, patience, and support.

An empathetic partner is prepared to put your needs before their own. He will go out of his way to listen, validate your feelings, and offer comfort when you’re down.

All of this emotional support creates a strong foundation for a loyal relationship.

6) His parents are still devoted to each other

If it seems unforgiving to judge a man’s loyalty by his past, it feels even more so to judge him on his parent’s past.

But this is science, and it deals with facts.

Psychologists believe that our evolutionary predisposition towards loyalty, which we discussed earlier, gets activated and directed based on our socialization and life experiences.

The truth is that so many of our attitudes and beliefs are formed in our early years. That means our caregivers during this time help shape us into who we become.

If a man growing up was taught devotion and loyalty are virtues to be upheld, he’s more likely to follow this lead.

Studies have backed this thinking up.

Men are more likely to cheat if their dads did.

Czech researchers think this is because boys absorb their morals and learn what is acceptable and not from their fathers.

One study found that if someone’s parents cheated, they themselves were more likely to cheat in their own adult relationships.

In fact, the odds of infidelity were 2.5 times higher in participants with parental infidelity.

7) There’s a lot of mutual respect

In many ways, loyalty is one of the strongest forms of respect.

That’s why if a guy shows you respect in all the little ways, it’s a sign of his stronger devotion.

Respect can be seen in many ways.

For example:

  • He values your opinions
  • He appreciates what makes you unique
  • He wants to hear what you think about things
  • He is supportive of your ambitions and goals
  • He treats you with dignity
  • He respects your boundaries
  • He builds you up and never tries to tear you down
  • He is prepared to compromise because he cares about your feelings

Mutual respect fosters loyalty by creating an environment of equality and understanding.

I’ve purposely said mutual respect because, of course, this is a two-way street.

And that brings me nicely to our final sign.

8) You both work together to create a strong relationship

I know this article has largely focused on the qualities that may make a man more loyal.

But when it comes to signs your relationship will be a successful and dependable one, I think it’s important to remember your collective actions count.

The quality of a relationship rests on what we give as much as what we receive. 

I was watching some trash TV the other day. It was a reality show following the tumultuous relationship of a couple.

It was a total car crash. As an outside observer looking in, it was clear this couple really didn’t stand a chance.

They were jealous and constantly fought about issues around loyalty.

Yet the real problem was that they were totally neglecting all of the basics.

  • They had poor communication skills, constantly screaming, shouting, and making threats
  • They both lacked self-awareness so it was difficult for them to recognize how their behavior impacted each other
  • They didn’t respect independence or boundaries and were unreasonably demanding and petulant if they didn’t get their own way
  • All of this made it impossible for them to be supportive because they were so wrapped up in trying to get what they want

I could go on, but that list is probably enough to highlight my point.

A loyal relationship grows from the steady foundations of a healthy relationship.

Only time will tell

Loyalty is a fundamental aspect of any successful relationship.

Looking out for some of the psychological signs we’ve just discussed can give you insight into whether a man will be loyal or not.

But ultimately it’s an unfolding picture.

You must continue to look to his words and actions as time goes on.

The best way to create loyalty is for both of you to continue to invest your efforts in building a healthy and strong relationship that will stand the test of time.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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