Marcel Deer
Do you have a guy friend who you think might be into you?
This happens all the time, and it makes sense. People become friends when they like each other, right?
But does he like like you?
And if he does, how does that make you feel?
You might not have the same feelings for him, and you could be worried that this might completely change your relationship.
Or this might be a revelation. You might be into him but didn’t want to upset things by revealing your feelings. If he’s actually interested in you romantically, this might be the news you’ve been waiting for!
Whether you’ll be shocked or stoked if he’s into you, how can you figure out for sure what his feelings are?
Lucky for you, many psychologists have made a living studying love and attraction, and they have some keen observations to share with you.
Let’s take a look at these six signs a man wants to be more than friends with you, according to psychology, and see if they relate to your situation.
1) He’s in love with your body.
It’s a vicious stereotype that men are more interested in looks than anything else.
Isn’t it?
According to psychological studies, this isn’t just an old wives’ tale – it’s actually true!
One study into attraction found a “greater male priority for attractiveness and physical build, compared to females.”
This study goes on to state that “Sexual attraction is a primary driver of mate selection and reproductive decisions, and those decisions impact not only the individuals involved but the broader market in which the decision occurs.”
In other words, attractiveness is natural and important, and men are more interested in attractiveness than women are. The researchers also found that this focus changes over time, peaking between the ages of 30-40.
Another study looked at what physically attracts men to women, and you won’t find any surprises here. According to the eye movement study, men showed “a preference for low WHRs and reproductively relevant regions of the female body.”
Yes, men looked at breast size and preferred low waist-to-hip ratios (bigger differences between waist and hip measurements).
Another study looked at what makes homosexual men physically attracted to other men. Measurements were again the biggest factor here.
Researchers found that “gay men showed a stronger preference for lower WCRs, indicating a preference for a more developed upper body build.” That WCR is the waist-to-chest ratio, meaning that they found small waists and big chests attractive.
So how do you know if a guy is physically attracted to you?
You might catch him staring at your “reproductively relevant regions”. He may also complement you when you’re looking good. Guy friends don’t normally do that because it may be mistaken for attraction.
2) He thinks you’re nice.
While men might be looking for a bad bod, they’re normally attracted to people who are nice.
This holds true for heterosexual attraction anyway, according to a psychological study.
Research has found that “Specifically, men, but not women, perceive responsive opposite-sex strangers as more sexually desirable than unresponsive opposite-sex strangers.”
This research had participants interact with conversation partners who were trained to either be responsive (interested, engaged), neutral, or unresponsive when they met new people.
While women didn’t show any greater attraction to responsive guys, men were a lot more attractive to responsive women.
Why?
The researchers explained that “men who perceived a new acquaintance as more responsive also perceived her as more feminine and, in turn, as more sexually attractive.”
It seems that men think responsive women are more open to them, and this is something they like.
So if your friend feels really engaged when you talk and tells you that you’re nice, there’s a chance he’s seeing you as more than just a friend. He might be eying you as a potential romantic interest.
3) He’ll know what you’re thinking.
I always say that we humans are social creatures, and the way we interact with each other is a major part of our lives.
One thing that brain scientists have discovered is that we actually have special brain cells that help us mimic what other people do.
These are called mirror neurons and they’re some pretty sophisticated machinery.
These neurons have been found to fire both when we do an action and when we just see other people do the same thing.
They’re also tied to mirroring, which is adopting similar stances and postures when we talk to other people.
Next time you’re having an intense conversation with a friend, take a look at your body language. You’ll probably find that you’re mirroring each other – sitting and holding your arms the same way.
A recent study also found that mirror neurons help you understand what the other person is thinking. It’s not that you can read their mind exactly, but the more intimately you know someone, the better you can predict their responses and actions.
Well, that’s interesting.
Does that mean your guy friend will understand you better the closer to you he is?
Precisely, and if he’s trying to get out of the friend zone and into the romance zone, this is one way he will show it.
4) He’ll be in a good mood when he’s around you.
A lot of psychological research has been done into love and infatuation.
While some of this has looked at what people think and feel when they’re in these states, others have looked at the responses of their brains and bodies. After all, these things are easier to measure and can seem more concrete.
So why is that guy friend of yours always in a good mood when he’s around you? And why isn’t he that way with everyone else?
Sure, he might just be happy to have you as a friend, but shouldn’t he show the same behavior with his other friends?
Exactly!
Research shows that when people are really interested, infatuated, or genuinely in love with someone, they become veritable positive chemical cocktails.
Their brains and bloodstreams are full of dopamine, adrenaline, vasopressin, and oxytocin, hormones and chemical messengers that make them feel great.
If this combination sounds familiar, this mixture is very similar to what’s released when a person is high on cocaine.
If your guy friend seems like he’s buzzing on something, and you know it’s not blow, it could be you instead!
5) He’ll pay attention to you.
If a guy is just your friend, he’ll pay a certain amount of attention to you. This is how friendships work – you don’t ignore each other, do you?
But what if he’s giving you a lot more attention than a friend normally would? What if he always hangs on your every word and remembers everything you say and do even better than you do yourself?
Yeah, sure, he may have a photographic memory.
Or he could be way into you.
Research shows that people who are infatuated or newly in love pay better attention to anything to do with their love interest and remember way better than people who aren’t.
According to another psychological report, people also listen better and more attentively to the people they’re attracted to or in love with. They practice attentive, active listening as a way of showing these people that they’re important to them.
Does this sound familiar?
If your guy friend listens to every word you say, gives you his full attention, and remembers everything that he takes in, there’s probably a good reason. He’s into you!
6) He’ll flirt.
Do friends flirt with each other, or do they interact in more real, familiar ways?
While flirting doesn’t always have to mean a person is interested in something more, it’s strange to be flirty with a friend on an ongoing basis.
So if your guy friend always seems to be playful and flirtatious with you in particular, it may very well be because he’s interested in taking things to the next level.
When men flirt, they adopt one of five common flirting styles: physical, traditional, sincere, polite, and playful.
Physical flirting involves touching you and also touching himself as well as getting close to you. A traditional man flirt makes the first move and shows his interest clearly.
Sincere flirts focus on showing genuine emotional connection. Polite flirts are hands-off and keep things non-sexual and respectful, while playful flirts use a lot of humor and fun in their flirting.
While his style could be any one of these, if he gives you his interest, gets close to you, compliments you, and seems very happy to talk to you, he’s flirting to try to attract your interest.
Final thoughts
These six signs a man wants to be more than friends with you, according to psychology, can let you know for sure how he feels.
But whether you’re going to have to nip it in the bud or open your heart to him is the big question and the choice you’re going to have to make.
