7 signs a man sees you as his life partner, according to psychologists

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Are you ready to commit and wondering if your man feels the same?

Modern dating can feel like a lot of shopping around.

But when you meet a life partner you’re through with all that because you’ve been sold on someone special. 

Here’s how to tell if he has his sights set on a long-term relationship. 

1) He integrates you into his life

This often happens in both big and small ways.

You may notice it in the language he uses. For example, discussing things as a “we’ instead of an “I”.

It’s a psychological clue into his mindset and shows you he sees you as a permanent fixture in his life.

More noticeable steps would be that he introduces you to his family and friends. That’s how you know he’s ready for you to be a part of his inner circle.

If you’re yet to meet the significant people in his life, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. But it might need a conversation about why.

Licensed clinical social worker Rachel Perlstein suggests:

 “Give the person an opportunity to talk with you about why you’ve yet to meet their friends and family.

It’s possible that…their time frame works different from yours, you have different expectations about what a relationship looks like, and/or you’re both viewing the relationship differently.

Ask follow up questions about what the person’s intentions are and express your wants and needs,”

2) He makes you a priority

He spends quality time with you because he loves being with you.

He is proactive in arranging plans and scheduling dates.

He makes an effort in the maintenance of your relationship, in both practical and emotional ways.

He thinks your feelings, hopes, and dreams are just as important as your own.

Being a priority doesn’t mean being glued at the hip and never doing anything separately. But it does sometimes involve sacrifice.

A recent study found that making time investments in daily life predicts someone’s future commitment to a relationship.

As couples therapist Robert Taibbi explains, a relationship is a living thing.

“A good way of thinking about your relationships is that it is like a baby that you both created and are responsible for and tending to.

When the baby gets sick or isn’t doing well, you both need to be concerned and step up. You both stay attentive and are committed to seeing it thrive and grow. It’s a combination of consciously keeping the negative from getting worse, and consciously making the positive a positive.”

3) He includes you in important decisions

This is essentially just another sign that you’re a team.

Involving you in his choices means you are an important factor in them.

In order to make the best decision, he needs to know how it might affect you.

He certainly isn’t going to make big life changes without consulting you first.

A life partner doesn’t decide to up and move to the other side of the country without some serious discussions.

Including you in decisions also tells you something important…

That he values your input and opinion.

He wants to know your ideas and actively encourages you to offer them.

4) He isn’t scared off during hard times

Accepting that relationships will inevitably go through ups and downs is vital if we’re going to make things last long-term.

A lot of people are searching for the fairy tale, and are left disillusioned when real-life love fails to be perfect.

A guy is more likely to see you as his life partner when he has healthy and realistic relationship expectations.

The Peter Pan types never want to grow up and so flit from one person to the next.

  • If he’s seen you at your worst and has stuck around
  • If he accepts your weaknesses as well as your strengths
  • If he tries to work through conflict to find a resolution

…these are all positive signs you’ve got a keeper who is invested in you and your relationship.

5) You’re his BFF

Romance is great. If you give each other butterflies and can’t keep your hands off each other, then that’s undoubtedly a plus point.

Whilst it is a sign of love, it’s also a sign of lust — and that can fade.

When we’re talking about life partners and being in it for the long haul, a far more humble factor comes into play:

Whether you’re really good friends.

Research shows that when it comes to forming lasting relationships, a solid friendship is far more important than those fleeting fireworks.

In fact, studies have found that people who say they’ve married their best friend are more likely to be happier and more satisfied with their life.

What really counts is those bestie aspects of your connection such as companionship, laughter, enjoying the same activities, and sharing similar interests.

6) He is open, honest, and respectful

If he’s sharing with you, it’s because he’s opening himself up emotionally.

Emotional availability is a big factor because it indicates relationship readiness, which research has highlighted as an important predictor of whether things will work out.

We hear a lot about good communication, but what does that look like?

It means that he:

  • Actively listens to you
  • Engages in meaningful conversations
  • Shares his thoughts and feelings with you
  • Can handle conflict respectfully
  • Is honest yet tactful

To go the distance, respect is another essential part of the package.

So you’ll know he sees you as wifey material when he treats you with kindness and consideration, supports your goals and aspirations, and values your boundaries.

7) You make future plans

If a man sees you as his life partner he’ll let you know that you’re heading in the same direction.

It’s important to have a shared vision as you grow together, and he shouldn’t be afraid to express that to you.

  • He talks about building a life together
  • He doesn’t shy away from discussions about serious commitment
  • He happily makes future plans in advance, like taking trips together
  • He wants to move in together
  • He’s discussed big future decisions like having kids

Planning for the future together shows mutual commitment.

Whatever his long-term goals, you feel a part of them. That’s because he envisions a future with you by his side.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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