Does he like you?
It can be hard to say yes or no when you are getting mixed signals or not sure how to interpret his behavior.
Fortunately, psychology provides valuable insights into the behavior of a man when he’s attracted.
Let’s take a look at the deep signals that he’s into you but trying to keep it on the down low.
1) He often darts glances at you
When a man is secretly attracted to you, he’ll often dart glances at you when he thinks you’re not looking.
Catching him once or twice in the act is no big deal, but when it’s happening multiple times.
As retired FBI behavioral analyst and Professor Jack Schafer, PhD. explains:
“People look at people they like and avoid looking at people they don’t like. The neurochemical oxytocin may be responsible for increased eye contact.”
2) He faces towards you and gets closer to you
The man who’s secretly attracted to you will orient his body towards you and get physically closer to you.
This means that his feet will point in your direction as well as his knees and the set of his shoulders:
He will also tend to slowly and subtly get closer to you, coming closer on a bench seat or sliding over in a room to be more proximate to you.
This includes him leaning in toward you and becoming more enthusiastic in how he talks to you.
As psychologist Jeremy Nicholson, PhD. writes:
“They may take a few minutes to warm up, but you should see them lean in and get a bit more animated in their movements as they get into the conversation.”
3) He gets nervous and fidgety around you
In addition to getting closer to you and orienting himself towards you, the guy who’s secretly into you will also often get nervous and fidgety around you.
This is his attraction to you coming to the surface even when he isn’t intending to let it show.
His adrenaline and excitement is bubbling up and coming through in his nervous tics and behavior.
Even though he’s trying to play it cool, his fidgeting and nerves are coming through and showing.
4) His body language subtly mirrors you
Another key sign that a man is low-key interested in you is that his body language subtly mirrors yours.
When you make a gesture, he echoes it with a similar gesture.
When you sit with one leg crossed over the other, you notice that he soon does the same.
This is him displaying his attraction for you on a subconscious, body language level.
As Schafer puts it:
“People who like one another mirror each other’s body positions. Mirroring can help establish rapport and can also be used to test whether the person you are talking with likes you.”
5) His voice becomes lower or hoarser when talking to you
Another thing that happens when a man is interested in you is that his voice changes:
Scientific and psychological research has demonstrated that vocal shifts occur when physical attraction is present.
When he finds you beautiful but wants to hide it, his voice still tells the tale:
It will tend to get a bit lower or sometimes a bit hoarse and crack slightly.
Whether he wants to admit it or not, this is attraction talking.
6) He finds pretexts to talk to you and ask questions
When a guy is attracted to you and finds you beautiful, he wants to come up with reasons to talk to you.
A typical example is that he may ask you for directions when he really doesn’t need directions:
More complex examples include him asking you about a topic or your opinion that are entirely voluntary, in other words something that seems a bit like it’s out of nowhere?
That’s probably because he’s quite attracted to you.
7) He gives you small affectionate touches and pats
There are various situations where touching somebody can be socially acceptable.
This could be a light pat on the arm or a touch on the shoulder when guiding you through the door.
If a guy goes out of his way to give you light and affectionate touches, he’s not doing it by accident.
He finds you beautiful and he wants to get closer to you.
“Touching is a good indicator that a person likes you or dislikes you,” notes Schafer.
8) He’s attentive to what you say and recalls details
The next sign that he’s into you is that he listens closely when you talk and also recalls key details of what you say.
He finds you beautiful and thus everything you say is twice as interesting to him.
This doesn’t necessarily have to be in a shallow or surface-level way:
It’s simply that your beauty appeals to him on a primal level and he’s responding to it with interest.
Even if he tries to keep it on the down low, his true attraction shows through.
9) He smiles a lot around you even though he tries to hide it
He smiles around you a lot and you notice him grinning big when you look his way.
He may try to hide it and play it cool, but when you catch him in the act it’s hard to deny.
He may try to act like he was just smiling at a joke but the truth will come out.
He’s into you and he can’t stop grinning about it.
10) He playfully teases you and jokes with you
When two animals are attracted to each other in nature they playfully paw and nudge at each other:
Humans are a special kind of animal, but they play in quite a similar way.
When attracted to each other they are playful and joke around, teasing and jibing you:
Sure, it’s just a joke, but underneath that is real attraction at work.
11) He does kind and thoughtful things for you
When a man finds you beautiful, he does kind and thoughtful things for you unexpectedly.
They may be very small things, but they will still be noticeable when you look for them.
He’s paying attention to what you like and need and doing his best to help you out and be an ally to you in every area of your life.
“In general, interested folks are more likely to keep conversations going, pay attention, get close, and touch,” notes Nicholson.
12) He is protective and helpful towards you
When a man finds you beautiful, he wants to protect you from harm.
If he’s a good guy, he wants to care for everyone regardless of his feelings towards them, but your beauty spurs an extra-protective, extra-caring element in him.
This keys into his deepest instincts as a man and goes back to early evolution:
He wants to keep you safe and care for you because you are attractive to him.
Appreciating your beauty
When a man finds you beautiful but wants to keep it low key or hide how he feels, there will still be signs.
He’ll orient his body towards you, do nice things for you, pay attention to what you say and give you compliments.
He will be curious about what you think and feel and want to keep conversations going and on and ask you lots of questions.
“The more they keep the conversation going, get close, touch, and pay attention to you, the more likely it is that they are interested in you,” explains Nicholson.
“From there, the only way to be sure is to ask them out directly.”