13 signs a man really loves having you in his life, according to psychology

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How much does he value you? 

It’s a question that you may find yourself asking, caught up in the busy hubbub of modern life. 

Psychology has valuable insights that show when a man truly values a woman in his life and loves having her around. 

If he’s displaying more than half of the following behaviors, then there’s no doubt he genuinely loves having you as part of his life. 

Let’s dive in and take a look! 

1) He consistently communicates with you 

There’s no replacement for consistent communication. 

When a man truly loves having you in his life, he will show it by the way he makes time to talk to you and stay in touch with you. 

It’s crystal clear that you’re not an afterthought, you’re his priority.

He loves talking to you and makes himself available when you want to talk. If difficult subjects come up, he also does his best to navigate them and talk openly with you. 

2) He prioritizes spending quality time with you

When a man truly loves having you in his life, he carves out time in his schedule just for you

No matter how busy he is and how demanding his career, he sets aside time that’s just for the two of you. 

Not only that:

He focuses on you when he’s with you and isn’t constantly fielding calls or responding to other matters. Time he spends with you is time with you. 

“Does he make spending time with you a priority? Do you feel like the most important person in his life?” asks psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D.

3) He goes out of his way to do kind things for you

The man who truly values having you in his life will go out of the way to do kind things for you. 

Whether this is a thoughtful gift from his recent business trip or help unloading some flowers and plants you just bought at the nursery, he’s there to help out if he can. 

He doesn’t do it out of obligation, he does it because he wants to and because he truly values you

4) He makes you feel special and highly valued 

In addition to making you a priority in his schedule and helping you out, this guy makes you feel very special and valued

He goes out of his way to give you compliments on your appearance, compliment how good you look and be there for you at when you might need a bit of a self-esteem boost. 

He doesn’t say you look good to “score points” or flatter you, he does it because he wants to.

“Does he tell you he likes the way you adjust your hair, or smile when you say you can’t stand the color green? When a man’s in love, he thinks his partner is like no one else in the world,” observes dating coach John Keegan.

5) He’s physically affectionate and intimate with you

A man who loves having you in his life will also make it clear through his physical affection. 

Even if he’s fairly shy and not an overly sexual guy, he will go in for hugs, nice touches and appreciative kisses now and then. 

He will often be the one initiating and nuzzling up close to you, letting you know how special you are to him

As marriage therapist Ruxandra LeMay notes

“Just like women, men need love, warmth, closeness, validation, and acceptance. Men are also more physical (due to a higher level of testosterone), and they express these needs for emotional closeness…”

Which brings me to the next point… 

6) He’s emotionally supportive of you and listens to you

It’s not only that this guy is physically affectionate, he’s also emotionally supportive and really listens to you. 

This doesn’t mean he’ll always agree by any means:

But it does mean he listens to what you say and makes efforts to become emotionally closer to you and form a bond. 

This includes him trying his best to be emotionally vulnerable as well and open up about how he feels, too. 

“Being vulnerable and knowing that you’re safe is how we form bonds with each other in the treetops. Vulnerability looks a little different in the modern world, but it will feel the same,” writes certified sexologist Elaine Turner.

7) He respects your boundaries and opinions, even if he doesn’t agree

The man who really values you in his life will be respectful in all ways possible

He may disagree with you, and he will respect you enough to be open with it. There will be issues he won’t agree with you on or even decisions he won’t side with you about. 

But he respects your boundaries for what you will and won’t talk about and what you do and don’t want in your life.  

“One of the signs that your date is likely to make a good mate is that he or she shows genuine interest in your life and listens attentively when you are speaking,” explains psychologist Elinor Greenberg.

8) He introduces you to family, friends and valued colleagues

When a man really wants you in his life for the long-term, he introduces you to those he cares about most. 

Because you are a part of his life in a very real way that he hopes will last, he also introduces you to those people in his life who form his own inner circle. 

This is his way of opening up to you and creating a potential link between you and those people who mean the most to him. 

“If someone values you, one sure sign is that they understand there are other people who deserve your time and attention,” writes Turner.

9) He’s willing to compromise and doesn’t steer or overpower you

The guy who truly values you doesn’t try to fit you into his life like you are playing a role. 

He is willing to compromise when possible and listens to what you say without having to shape or steer it. 

He won’t make plans and then brush aside concerns or questions you have, for example. He’ll actually care. 

“With the words barely out and hardly missing a beat, he commented, ‘You will love the North. You will fit in perfectly,’” recounts relationship coach Reta Faye Walker, in an example of a woman stuck with a guy who tried to pressure her decisions.

10) He celebrates your wins and is genuinely proud of you

The man who really wants you in his life is immensely proud and happy for your wins. 

He celebrates your milestones and victories and is there for you to cheer you on. 

It comes naturally to him, because being your number one fan isn’t a stretch at all: it’s who he really is.

As therapist and author Shannon Thomas puts it

“A person who can authentically be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won’t feel the need to hold you back.”

11) He consistently has your back even when it’s not convenient

A guy who values you a bit will have your back and be there for you when he has time, or when he happens to think of you. 

A guy who prioritizes you and deeply values your place in his life will have your back and be there for you even when it’s downright inconvenient. 

And it’s not just once or twice, either: he’s there for you consistently as much as he is able (and within reason). 

“Is he there for you when there is a problem?” asks Bernstein. 

“True love is about meeting the needs of the other person.”

12) He remembers small details of what you tell him 

This guy remembers what you say and many little details about you that most people forget!

It’s almost like without much effort at all he recalls things you said, jokes you made or preferences you told him about. 

That’s because you matter a lot to this guy and he thinks of you and remembers details about you even when he’s not trying. It just comes naturally. 

As dating coach and former psychiatric nurse Cher Gopman writes:

“Even if you just mention something in passing, he’ll most likely commit it to memory. And oftentimes he’ll use this information to do sweet things for you.”

13) He hopes and plans for a future together with you 

The future can be daunting, but for a man who really values you in his life, it’s also very exciting. 

He envisions the two of you in that future and does what he can to invite you to step forward with him into that future. 

If he’s secure and non-needy he won’t pressure this at all! But it will certainly be an idea and an ideal that appeals to him in the long-run if things work out. 

“If he is into you then he is also wanting you in—big time—as part of his future,” notes Bernstein. 

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