Roselle Umlas
In romance movies, the moment the man says, “I love you” is such a high-impact moment. The woman’s heart swells, and the audience swoons along with her.
In real life, though, it doesn’t always work like that. Because the truth is, not all men find it easy to say those three words. They can even go their whole lives without verbal expressions of love!
So, it can be quite frustrating for their partners – and really confusing. Does he really love you if he never says it out loud?
Well, yes, it’s possible. In fact, when it comes to love, actions do speak louder. I’d rather have a man who shows me he loves me rather than a man who tells me he loves me all the time, but his actions show otherwise.
In this article, I’ll share nine signs a man loves you, even if the word “love” is nowhere in sight. Let’s check them out!
1) He listens to you, really listens
You know those old jokes about how husbands tune out when their wives speak? That doesn’t apply here.
Because if your man really loves you, he listens. Really listens.
And not just when it comes to the big stuff of life. Even when you’re sharing mundane details, he’ll be present in the conversation.
His eyes won’t glaze over while you talk about how your day was so awful because your boss made you fix a spreadsheet your coworker botched.
Or how the old lady on the subway talked so loudly on her phone and annoyed everyone.
Plus points if he surprises you with a dessert you mentioned in passing a few weeks ago. If that’s not proof that he’s listening and that he loves you, I don’t know what is!
2) He makes time for you
Time is the one thing we all wish we had more of, and it’s not something most of us give lightly.
So, if your man makes sure you have quality time together, that means so much more than sweet yet meaningless words.
My husband is a busy guy. But I’ve noticed how he’ll shuffle his schedule or drop what he’s doing to spend time with me.
And he’s committed to doing the 2-2-2 rule with me. That means we have a date night every two weeks, go on a weekend away every two months, and a week away every two years.
Actually, he does more than that (we go for a three-week long vacation every year).
But my point is, if your man makes time even when he’s swamped, that should allay your concerns about his love.
Because that precious gift of time? He’s giving it to you by choice, not out of obligation.
3) He supports your goals and dreams
Another gift that shows his love for you is his unwavering support. You’d be surprised how many women all over the world don’t enjoy this gift from their partners.
In fact, I know people who have to behave a certain way just to keep their men happy.
So, does your man…
- Cherish you just the way you are?
- Cheer you on with your dreams and ambitions?
- Offer his advice, skills and help when you need them?
- Offer words of encouragement when you fail or make mistakes?
If he does, that’s proof that he loves you and wants you to succeed. He wants you walking alongside him or even in front of him, never behind!
4) He takes interest in your interests
This is closely connected with my previous point. A supportive man is interested in what you do.
So, even if you’ve got vastly different interests, you’ll still feel like he’s an active participant in your life.
For example, my husband and I are complete opposites when it comes to hobbies. He enjoys sports while I’m into art.
But he’ll go with me to art fairs and help me scour art stores for supplies I need. When I paint, he’ll often sit with me (while reading a book in the background) and offer his perspective when I ask for it.
In return, I cheer for him on the sidelines when he joins marathons. I buy him nice dri-fit shirts to use on his training sessions. It’s a pretty sweet deal that works for both of us!
5) He respects your opinions and values
Obviously, those two points I mentioned above won’t happen if he doesn’t place much stock in your opinions and values.
Too many people put the focus on romance, but personally, I think respect is more important.
Because a guy might not be a naturally romantic person, but if he’s respectful, you’ll know there’s love there.
Of course, we’d love it if the romance could stay forever, but the reality is, it can sometimes be fleeting.
And once your man stops springing romantic surprises and gestures on you, it can feel like he doesn’t love you anymore.
I hear you if that’s how you’re feeling. But maybe it would help to take a look at how else he treats you.
If you still feel heard and valued even in the absence of romantic gestures, that means he loves you.
6) He introduces you to his friends and family
This one’s for the people in a fairly new relationship and wondering if their man loves them enough.
If the guy you’re dating takes you to meet his parents or friends, that’s a great sign he values you.
Because this move is huge – especially for men. For many men, bringing a partner home to meet family or introducing them to close friends is a hallmark of a serious relationship.
It’s a sign that he can see a future with you! It means he’s happy to invite and integrate you into his world – that goes beyond saying “I love you”, don’t you think?
Which brings me to my next point…
7) He talks about the future with you
So, maybe getting your guy to tell you he loves you feels like pulling teeth. But – does he find it natural to talk about the future with you?
That should get your spirits up. It means he’s not just in the relationship for fun and games; he’s got a real stake in it.
He wants you both to have a shared vision, to build a life together.
And even if he isn’t the chatty type to talk about all of the heavy stuff upfront, you’ll know he’s in it for the long haul if he drops little hints like, “Where are we spending our holiday next year?”
Or, “Cousin X and his fiancee’s wedding is in December, do you want to go?”
You’ll feel a sense of stability because…
8) He makes you feel safe and comfortable
Not just about the future and the state of your relationship.
I’m talking about a certain comfort. A feeling of home. That’s how it feels when you’re with someone who truly loves you.
You can be yourself without judgment. You can share your deepest fears without feeling weak or ashamed. And you can share your joys and successes without the fear of making him insecure.
Basically, it’s all about safety. If your man feels like your safe space, rest assured he loves you.
9) He goes out of his way to make you happy
Beyond making you feel safe and comfortable, he makes you feel happy.
This is where you’ll really see that actions do speak louder than words.
My husband, for instance, is absolutely not an expressive man. I can count on one hand the times he has said “I love you” just because.
But I’ve never felt unloved because he constantly does little gestures that speak volumes about his love.
He’ll cook my favorite meal when I’ve had a bad day, even fixing my plate so it looks like a gourmet meal at a fancy restaurant.
He’ll watch rom-coms with me even though they’re not his cup of tea.
Social events drain him so quickly, but he’ll smile and chat for hours at parties I have to attend.
All that and more to make me happy. More than big romantic gestures, the small stuff he does is what really tells me he loves me.
Final thoughts
Hollywood may have instilled in us all sorts of expectations when it comes to relationships, including hearing “I love you” from our partner all the time.
Look, in its purest form, love is simple. But people are complex. Some of us express our love through words, others through affection, time, or acts of service.
As a person whose love language is words (and who’s married to a man whose love language is acts of service), it was an uphill battle for me to accept that I won’t get those loving words as often as I want.
But I’ve also realized that relationships stand the best chance when we look for alternative expressions of love instead of insisting on our own version of it.
Because when we do that, we’re also allowing our partners to be who they are and to express their love the way they’re naturally inclined to.
Just as we’d want to be cherished the way we are, they too have that need.
