“He loves me, he loves me not.”
It’s the oldest question in the book, but you don’t need to rely on picking petals from a flower or a fortune teller.
In fact, psychology can tell you a lot about whether a man is interested in you or not.
Watch for the following signs that show he’s really into you.
1) He goes out of his way to find common ground with you
We all have a lot of freedom in how much common ground we choose to find with everyone else.
Friendship and romance have a lot to do with this voluntary choice in seeking out things that are in common and bonding over them.
A man who’s interested in you is going to focus on interests and passions he shares with you.
If he doesn’t happen to have that much in common with you, he’s going to express a lot of interest in finding more of it.
He wants you to feel the connection and attraction that he feels, too. He’s going to want to find as much common ground as possible to build that foundation on.
2) He contacts you first and initiates conversations
Take a look at who’s starting most of the interactions with you (in person or over the phone / online).
If it’s him then you have a pretty good indication that he’s interested in you.
The caveat here is, of course, if he’s just after something physical and short-term.
The best way to determine this is to let him know you’re not looking for anything casual and see how he responds.
If he disconnects and stops pursuing you then he was only after something surface-level.
However if you having cut off any avenue for casual play doesn’t faze him then you now know that he’s at least potentially interested in more.
Where you take it from here is at least partly up to you.
This also ties directly into the next point…
3) He takes the time to get to know you for real
The man who’s truly interested in you will take the time to get to know you for real.
He doesn’t want just the surface or your official public version.
He wants masks off to see the real you that’s hiding under the surface or at least partly obscured by the role(s) that you play.
He’ll be willing to share parts of his own personality that are more complex or flawed, and he’s interested in your real self too.
He also isn’t impatient:
He adjusts to your speed and mirrors the amount of time and intensity that you put into interactions as well.
4) He tries to set up dates to see you as much as possible
When a man is really into you, he’ll ask you out quite a bit.
He’ll express interest in your schedule in order to find out when you are less busy and might have more time to go out.
Whether it’s dinner, a theater performance, an art exhibition or any other kind of event the two of you might like, he’ll do his best to ask you out.
This is his way of getting to spend time with you and making his interest in you clear.
5) He won’t pressure physical intimacy or sex
No matter how strong the physical attraction is between the two of you, a guy who likes you at a deeper level is not going to be sex-focused.
Even if he can barely wait for you to jump his bones (er, bone), it’s just not something he’s going to be pressuring you about.
He likes you far too much to turn this into a gauche sex-based interaction that will disappear quickly into the forgotten memories of shallow interactions.
He wants you to be clear that even though he finds you gorgeous he doesn’t consider you an object or any kind of sexual trade-off.
6) He expresses a lot of interest in your background and beliefs
The man who’s really interested in you is going to express a lot of interest in what made you you.
He’ll want to know how you grew up, what influences shaped you, what you believe and what you care about most.
If he’s a confident guy who’s secure in himself, he will express this interest in a moderated way and not go crazy with asking questions.
But if you look carefully at his behavior you’ll see that there’s a discernible thread of him wanting to know about your life and what built you.
7) He’s interested in getting to know your friends and family
When a man likes you, he also wants to get to know those you like.
There’s no guarantee that he’ll like them, too:
But he expresses that interest and he means it.
Not only is he curious about the people close to you and the family who raised you, he also wants to deepen and increase the strength of the bond between the two of you.
If you’re comfortable inviting him into that inner circle, then he’s comfortable entering it.
The more he gets to know those close to you, the closer you and he become.
8) He goes out of his way to help and support you
A guy who’s very interested in you will go out of his way to help and support you.
He wants to be your rock who you rely on and fulfill that protective role for you.
He’s not going to be a girlfriend who ends up talking over your problems at the granular level, at least not if he doesn’t want to be friendzoned.
But he will be the one who’s listening to you for real and giving you real emotional and personal support.
He’s letting you know he cares and he’s there for you.
9) He compliments you and notices small details about you
The man who’s interested in you gives you plenty of compliments and notices small things about you.
Whereas others may give vague compliments about your appearance, intelligence or sense of humor, this guy is much more specific.
He notices a new shirt you’re wearing and compliments the color, or observes unique earrings you’re wearing and how much he appreciates them.
If he’s good at flirting he’ll let you know these compliments in a way with a hint of teasing and suggestiveness, making it clear that he’s attracted to you.
His interest isn’t just in passing, it’s at the deeper level and includes a heightened level of observing everything he finds admirable and attractive about you.
Might as well get used to it!
10) He gives you an adorable nickname and clearly considers you special
If a guy is giving you a nickname and treating you in a special way then you can be quite confident he likes you at a more intense level.
Of course, players are pros at faking this kind of increased intimacy and connection.
But if you notice that he doesn’t strike you as this type but comes across that way just to you, then there’s a high probability it really is something special.
Might as well give him a cute nickname back, if you’re feeling it.
11) He tries to impress you and make a positive impression on you
No matter how confident he is, a man who’s especially attracted to you is going to make at least some effort in impressing you.
This isn’t necessarily going to be anything obvious or over the top.
Think about it at the simplest level:
He’ll be well groomed when you go out, stylish and do his best to preset himself in a good light.
While he will be willing to admit his flaws (as I noted earlier) he’s going to want his overall impression on you to be a positive one:
This is a man who knows what he wants and is going somewhere in life.
12) He invests his own time, energy and money without focusing on the cost
The man who’s truly into you will invest his time, energy and funds into you without seeing how much he gets back.
This is where an unscrupulous woman can take advantage of a man:
He is indeed vulnerable.
That’s because when a guy really likes a woman he’s not counting the cost and he’s open to helping out and taking her to nice places without really thinking about the cost.
This has limits, of course, but generally speaking a man who’s genuinely into you will be quite generous with his time and spending.