Clifton Kopp
I’m probably not going to tell you anything that’s going to blow your mind when I say that guys aren’t always the best at expressing their feelings.
For lots of reasons, many men struggle to express their feelings. And often, the deeper those feelings go, the harder it is to talk about them.
Sometimes, this can lead to a frustrating guessing game. If a man won’t tell you he’s truly in love, how are you supposed to know?
Luckily, there are some signs psychologists point to that can demonstrate a man has deep feelings for you. Although everyone expresses love and affection a little differently, keep an eye out for these signs which can show you that a man truly loves you.
1) He communicates well
I know I just finished saying that a lot of men aren’t good at communicating their feelings. But even if a man struggles to tell you that he loves you, that doesn’t mean he can’t communicate in other ways.
Smart men know that in many ways, the quality of any relationship is defined by the quality of the communication you have together. That means a man who truly loves you will make the effort to learn how to communicate with you in a respectful, healthy, and constructive way.
“Communication is vital for healthy relationships,” writes psychologist Kendra Cherry. “Being able to talk openly and honestly with the people in your life allows you to share, learn, respond, and forge lasting bonds.”
So if a man makes the effort to improve the way he communicates with you so that you can both come to a deeper understanding, it’s a good sign he’s truly in love.
2) He is emotionally vulnerable
This is a hard one for lots of men.
You see, even today, many men are taught from an early age that one of the key qualities of masculinity is being strong and independent. That’s why men often struggle to express their feelings, even with people they are close to.
“Men’s friendships tend to be more “instrumental” and less emotional, while women are much more likely than men to share emotions and feelings,” says psychology professor Ronald E Riggio.
For many men, the person they love may be the only person that they are truly emotionally vulnerable around.
That means they are honest about their deepest feelings, even if those feelings are negative or embarrassing.
Men don’t trust just anyone with their emotions, so if a man is willing to open his heart to you and tell you about his deepest and most profound feelings, take it as a good sign. It probably means he’s truly in love.
3) He prioritizes your needs
Being in love with someone doesn’t mean neglecting yourself and your own needs and desires. But it does mean prioritizing your partner’s needs above your own, at least some of the time.
In many ways, men are better at showing love than they are at talking about it. And one of the ways they show love is by prioritizing the needs of their partner and doing everything in their power to make them happy.
“Making your spouse or partner a priority means your partner’s emotional needs are as important as your own,” writes counselor Kristin Rosenthal. “Putting your partner first means his or her needs, feelings, and wellbeing take priority over other people or things.”
This is something that both people should be doing in a relationship. Sooner or later, there will be times when one or both of you needs to put aside your own needs for the needs of the relationship.
A man who is willing to do that is very likely to be a man in love.
4) He is intimate with you
I’m not talking about sex here – although it is true that for many men, sex is an integral part of love.
I’m talking more about both physical and emotional intimacy. The way he holds your hand. The way he touches your shoulder. The way he talks to you about the things that matter most to him and shares his inner fears and desires with you.
“Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy both matter, and one is not more important than the other…at least not when it comes to having a healthy long-term relationship,” writes therapist April Eldemire.
“While physical intimacy allows people to express and enjoy their connection on a sensual level, emotional intimacy is necessary for people to feel safe enough to build (and maintain) a lasting connection in the first place,” she explains.
That kind of intimacy requires three things:
- Trust
- Vulnerability
- Communication
So as you can see, many of the traits on this list are linked to one another and can show you a man who is truly in love.
5) He sees a future with you
How does he talk about the future?
When he makes plans, are you always part of them?
If so, that’s a good sign that a man is committed to your relationship and wants you to remain part of his life.
“A partner who wants to grow with you and spend a life with you won’t hesitate to make any and all kinds of plans for things to come,” says relationship expert Stef Safran.
6) He does thoughtful things
Sometimes, it’s not about what a man says, but what he does that shows you he’s truly in love with you.
And sometimes, the smallest things can be the most revealing when it comes to the way he feels.
I’m not talking about grand romantic gestures. Those are nice, but anyone can do those from time to time. Instead, it’s the small things that show a man is truly in love.
For instance, he may do maintenance on your car to make sure it’s safe for you to drive. He may cook food he knows you like. He may plug in your phone when you fall asleep and forget to charge it.
These are small things, but in the long run, they add up to a big sign of a man who loves you.
7) He puts trust in you
We’ve already talked about how a man who loves you will trust you enough to be emotionally vulnerable with you. In fact, that’s one of the greatest signs that a man is truly in love.
But there are other ways he can show his trust in you, too.
Maybe he shares his finances with you. Or maybe you have the password to his computer and phone because he has nothing to hide from you.
“At its most basic, trust lets us feel secure because we believe our partner has our back and will be loyal through thick and thin,” write authors and psychologists Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera.
And when a guy trusts you, it’s a good indication that he is someone you should place your trust in, too.
8) He respects you
Respect isn’t always the first thing that comes to mind when we think of romantic relationships. But without respect, you can’t have a healthy and mutually fulfilling partnership.
“Despite knowing how important (mutual) respect is for keeping relationships from becoming malignant, most of us would be hard-pressed to say what we mean by respect,” writes philosopher and neuroscientist Berit Brogaard.
Basically, respecting another person means respecting their rights and autonomy as an individual. It means you don’t try to control them. You don’t threaten them. You don’t deliberately try to hurt them.
Instead, you treat them the way you would want to be treated. If a man does that, it’s a good sign he’s in love.
9) He supports you
I don’t mean financially, although that can certainly be part of it.
Ultimately, though, relationships are all about supporting one another. And if a man truly loves you, he will support you in whatever you do.
Debbie will be there for you when times are tough, providing emotional support when you need it.
He will also be there in the good times, celebrating your successes and cheering you on to achieve your goals.
A supportive man is a man who shows his love through the way he behaves.
10) He is committed to resolving conflicts
Even when you love someone, there’s bound to be conflict.
And the way you each handle that conflict can say a lot about the strength of your relationship.
“Conflict is often unavoidable and sometimes outside of our control. However, how we respond to disagreements, harsh words, and arguments is,” writes researcher and author Jeremy Sutton.
“Aim to discuss and agree on a mutually beneficial outcome as soon as possible after an issue occurs. If that’s not possible, then agree when it can be discussed,” he advises.
It’s not always easy to resolve relationship conflict, especially when strong feelings are involved. But if a man takes the trouble to control his temper and work toward resolving conflict with you, it’s a good sign he is truly in love.
Signs of a man in love
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. That’s definitely true when it comes to determining whether a man is truly in love.
Whether he says it or not, these signs demonstrate his true feelings. So keep an eye out for them, and you’ll know exactly how he feels about you.
