Do you turn him on or not?
When a guy is sexually aroused by you the signs tend to be very obvious.
But what about when he’s not excited by you? Here’s what to watch out for…
1) He doesn’t make eye contact
Humans evolved to look at what they fear or what they like.
If something is a threat or something is a potential mate, we eye it up.
When something is neither and offers no significant potential benefit or harm to us, we are less likely to be visually focused on it.
That’s why one of the top signs a man is not sexually attracted to you is that he barely looks at you.
He avoids eye contact and he doesn’t look in your direction unless it’s for work or some other required reason.
2) He physically avoids you
Another of the unfortunate signs that you’re not exciting him sexually is that he physically avoids you.
If you’re in the same room he’s in a different part of it; if you walk by each other he may avoid your gaze and physically orient his body away from you.
If you are dating or together, he will shy away from your touch, sit far away from you on the couch and otherwise act like a reverse magnet around you.
He’ll also act brittle and unresponsive when your bodies do make contact, resisting hugs and not leaning into them.
As for kissing? He’s like a cardboard cutout when it comes to locking lips or attempting to.
No matter what excuses he makes, all signs point to him just not being that into you physically.
3) He isn’t into having sex
On a related note there’s the issue of sex.
If you’re a couple or have had sex previously and he’s no longer into it then it’s a pretty clear sign that he’s not sexually into you, at least not anymore.
There are exceptions to this, of course, if he’s been having a personal crisis or physical issues that prevent him from getting an erection.
Overall, however, libido issues are often related to a simple lack of sexual desire.
Not every two people have amazing physical chemistry, and even if you’re feeling it there’s no guarantee that he is as well.
If he isn’t into having sex then there’s a high chance it’s because he’s not into you physically.
4) He lets his appearance go around you
If you notice that a man often looks slovenly around you and makes no effort to change that, it can be one of the top signs he’s not into your body.
When a guy is potentially attracted to a woman he at least does the bare minimum to look presentable, comb his beard or shave and throw on some clothes that aren’t full of wrinkles.
When he knows he’s not attracted it’s the other way around.
He could throw on a pair of sweatpants that haven’t been washed in two weeks for all he cares.
It might be that he’s just a slob, sure, but even a slob tends to get spruced up when he’s into a girl.
5) He talks to you as little as possible
Socializing is one of the top ways that potential couples get warmed up and build attraction for each other.
Even the quietest guy will try to say a few words to get to know you and even make you laugh with a joke or two if he’s attracted to you.
One of the top signs a man is not sexually attracted to you is that he barely interacts with you.
If you do speak to him, he answers as little as possible and barely acknowledges what you said or laughs awkwardly in a way that indicates indifference.
That’s exactly the thing about not being attracted to someone:
It’s not usually that he’s repulsed by you or actively uninterested, it’s often more of a complete indifference.
And sometimes that’s what hurts most of all is to realize that another person is just indifferent towards you.
Which brings us to the next point:
6) He forgets things you tell him
In addition to rarely making eye contact, staying physically away from you, conversationally ignoring you and being overall indifferent, he also forgets what you tell him.
It’s not only that he’s not much into bantering with you in any way, he’s also not even listening to you.
This not only happens with people who recently met or began dating when the guy isn’t very attracted.
It also happens in long-time couples and sometimes even happens when a guy is physically interested but not overly engaged intellectually.
The key here is that if he’s still sexually attracted to you, he’ll make an effort to remember what you tell him even if he finds it boring…
Because he knows that recalling things you say can lead to some intimate interactions, which is what he’s after.
However, when he’s not physically attracted or intellectually engaged he’ll often forget even basic things you tell him.
7) He comments on you looking worse
If you’re a couple or dating, another of the unfortunate signs a man is not sexually attracted to you is that he makes downer comments on your appearance.
He may indicate that he finds you gaining weight unattractive…
Or comment favorably on another woman’s style and then glance at you with a skeptical expression, for example…
These are just small examples of the ways in which men may verbally or nonverbally tell you that they don’t find your appearance sexually appealing.
The bottom line is that they’re indicating they don’t want to sleep with you or find your physical beauty lacking (at least in their eyes).
8) His body language tells the tale
Earlier I mentioned how a man who’s not attracted will avoid eye contact and physically try to stay far away from you.
His other body language will also tell the tale of his lack of interest.
This includes things such as:
- Pointing his feet away from you
- Failing to make eye contact
- Having an indifferent mumble when he talks
- Slouching or walking with minimum energy
- Standing in a posture that’s diminutive
- An appearance and bodily posture of boredom or being tired
These are all signs of a guy who’s just not very interested.
If you’re seeing a lot of this, then the guy’s just not into you on a physical (or any other) level.
9) He treats you like a sister
How does a man treat you in your interactions?
One of the top signs a man is not sexually attracted to you is that he treats you like a sister.
In other words, he’s nice, maybe even kind and gracious, but he’s the opposite of flirtatious or sexually suggestive.
It’s almost as if he doesn’t see you physically as a woman or notice your gender.
You’re more like a family member to him or a sister, somebody he likes but not in a romantic or sexual way.
He may care about you or like you as a friend or colleague, but even the slightest hint of flirting from your side or making a move is met with complete disinterest from him.
You can also notice it in other ways such as him introducing you to other guys or having a total lack of jealousy about you seeing other men and flirting with other guys.
If he was sexually attracted to you it would make him uneasy, but because he’s not, it doesn’t bother him.
10) He checks out other women
On a related note, a guy who is interested in you physically will – at minimum – be discreet about his attraction to other women.
That’s why one of the top signs that he’s just not into you in a sexual way is that he openly checks out and flirts with other women.
Even the most brazen guy is unlikely to do this if he’s hoping to have some sexual success with you.
After all, most women won’t tolerate a guy openly trying to get with other ladies in front of them and men know this is usually a surefire way to ruin their chances of anything intimate happen with a date or a woman they like.
The only reason a guy usually flirts with other women openly is because he isn’t interested at all in the woman he’s with and doesn’t mind her knowing it.
So there you have it…
Taking it personally
When somebody’s not attracted to you it’s easy to take it personally.
Whether as a man or a woman, you may feel you are not good enough or that you have been found lacking.
This is especially the case if the person who’s not into you is somebody you are attracted to and want to be with physically.
Knowing they don’t feel the same can be a real blow to their self-esteem.
If this is the situation you’re in, just remember that nobody else has the power to define your worth and that if they were attracted to you then small issues like weight would not be a deciding factor.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.