6 signs a man is fully ready to commit to you, according to psychology

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Commitment.

For some men, this word is straight out of a horror movie. They’d rather go in circles and date one person after another than take the plunge and commit to one person for years and decades.

Of course, commitment phobia hasn’t just appeared out of nowhere.

It’s connected to a lot of modern issues in the dating realm, including the paradox of having too much choice, the endless possibilities of the online world, and the fact that many men are stuck in relationships with people they ultimately don’t want to marry just because they’re terrified of uncertainty.

If you’ve been dating a man for a while now and still aren’t sure whether he’s fully ready to commit to you…

Here are the 6 signs to keep in mind.

1) He follows through on his promises

One of my friends recently said, “Words are easy. Actions, though…”

She was right.

While all men are not made of the same cloth and many won’t make empty promises unless they genuinely intend to keep their word, there are still plenty of men out there who will promise you the world only to never follow through.

A few years back, I fell for the same tricks.

My ex-partner spoke of traveling the world together, getting married, and having a family, but when it was time to make some of those plans a reality, he decided to change his mind, take up a job on the other side of the globe, or suddenly forget that he ever made those promises in the first place.

If you want to know whether a man is fully ready to commit to you, look at the concrete evidence in front of you, not the hopes you’re holding onto.

Many psychologists will tell you the same thing.

According to Randi Gunther, Ph.D., “Intimate partners must trust each other for a relationship to thrive. Their faith in each other’s promises and subsequent follow-through is what sustains their faith in the relationship and in each other.”

She adds, “Most couples agree that automatic trust is not a guarantee. It must be earned on a continuing basis.”

If all you’re getting are words…

Is the commitment in the room with us?

2) He chooses to create a life with you, not alongside you

Yes, there’s a difference. A crucial one.

A man who aims to create a life with you will actively include you in his plans, participate in your life, and prioritize your relationship when it counts.

If he wants to travel to a new country, he’ll ask you if you want to join; if he sees something beautiful, he’ll want to share it with you by sending you a picture; if he struggles at work, he’ll ask you for advice; if you achieve an important milestone, he’ll take you out to celebrate.

A man who walks alongside you rather than with you won’t necessarily do any of that. He might put in the bare minimum, sure, but when it comes down to it, you’ll always feel like there’s some sort of invisible distance between you.

When you think about it, the difference between these two men is quite obvious: the first one genuinely wants to be on your team while the second one is part of the relationship mainly because it’s comfortable and easy.

Don’t confuse comfort with commitment.

3) He actively seeks your company

“Quality time is all about giving undivided attention to your partner, whether you are on a walk, watching a movie, or simply sitting together,” says psychologist Mark Travers Ph.D.

He continues, “Whatever you do, make sure that you’re making an effort to connect with your partner on a deeper level—it fosters intimacy, keeps the spark alive, and helps couples grow together.”

Unfortunately, not all couples devote enough time and energy to quality time, which then means their relationship slowly but surely deteriorates until they’re nothing but “housemates”.

When a man truly wants to commit, he isn’t going to settle for watching Netflix every evening.

And that’s because he’ll genuinely want to connect with you, from asking you about your day to taking you out on dates or surprising you with small surprises.

 Of course, this kind of effort goes both ways.

4) He works with you to overcome each challenge as a team

When conflict arrives at the scene, the easy thing to do is run. Make an excuse, go out with friends, shut down emotionally.

But this kind of approach rarely solves anything. In fact, it often makes the whole issue worse.

This is why a man who is fully ready to commit to you will always try to work with you in order to solve the issue at hand – not because he wants to placate you but because he genuinely wants both of you to be happy.

This is also a good way to gauge whether you’re dating someone who is worth your own commitment.

In the next years and decades, you will inevitably run into issues, and having someone you can rely on – someone who won’t give up easily and who will approach all problems as a team – is absolutely vital.

A man who loves you and wants to be with you is going to actively work with you to overcome each obstacle that comes your way.

Simple as.

5) He makes you part of his community

A person’s social network makes up a huge part of who they are.

Your partner’s family and friends play an integral role in his life, and the moment he decides to introduce you to them and welcome you into his circle is when you know he’s taking your relationship seriously.

Not only that but it actually matters a great deal whether you become a part of that community or not.

As Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D. says, the opinions of our closest ones matter to us, especially when it comes to choosing the right romantic partner.

Are you part of your significant other’s friendship circle? Do you feel like you belong in his community? Does he welcome you among his closest ones?

These are some important questions to ask yourself.

6) You don’t have to doubt his intentions

Okay, here’s the simple truth: if a man is fully ready to commit to you, he will show it.

There’s no need to beat around the bush.

A man who is prepared to commit will not only plan his future with you but will also take active steps to transfer those ideas from the realm of the imagination into the real world, be it by moving in with you, making concrete travel plans, getting a pet together, or asking you to marry him.

However big or small, his actions are loud and clear: he has every intention to choose you and to keep choosing you in the future.

If you have doubts, if you feel like you’re getting mixed signals, and if you’ve been waiting to see some concrete evidence for years now…

It’s a huge sign you might be waiting for something that may never come.

A committed man speaks through action. Remember that.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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