Lucas Graham
I don’t think I’m going to be blowing anyone’s mind if I say that many men have trouble expressing their feelings.
There are many different reasons for this. One that a lot of people point to is that men face social pressure to be stoic and manly and never let on how they feel, because it makes them seem weak.
Even men who don’t subscribe to that version of masculinity may have trouble opening up. And past trauma or bad experiences can make it even harder for a man to reveal how he feels.
It doesn’t take a genius to see how this can make relationships a little tricky, to put it mildly.
If you’re wondering how a man feels about you, it isn’t always easy to tell, especially if you can’t expect him to just come out and tell you.
But there are some psychological signs that can reveal a man’s deep feelings for you. Keep an eye out for these traits, and you may just find that a man you know has fallen hard for you.
1) He pays attention to you
This one might sound obvious. But there’s a little more to it than it seems.
Often, it’s relatively easy to get attention from men. But the kind of attention you can easily get is usually the wrong kind.
I’m not talking about a guy throwing you a like on social media or sliding into your DMs. I’m talking about prolonged and focused attention that shows he sees you as more than an object of his desire.
If a man has deep feelings for you, you will pay attention to you. He will listen to what you say, and remember it.
That means he’ll remember little things, like your food preferences or your taste in music. He’ll also remember things that are important to you, like family birthdays and significant anniversaries.
You can even see this in his body language.
Author and public speaker Vanessa Van Edwards talks about ‘fronting’. That means standing directly
in front of someone and give them your undivided attention.
“When you front
someone, you are signaling attraction and interest. It says, “I am here, and
you are the center of my attention,” she writes.
2) He prioritizes you
To put it simply, when a man cares about someone, he prioritizes that person in his life.
That doesn’t mean he stops caring about anything else and devotes his life to you completely. But it does mean that he will put your needs, interests, and feelings first at least some of the time – even before his own.
“Not making your partner or spouse a priority is definitely a slippery slope to not having that relationship last long at all,” write relationship coaches Antonio and Laura Moore.
Smart men know that, and so they make it a habit to prioritize their partner or spouse. That’s as true in the early stages of a relationship as it is in a decades-long marriage.
3) He opens up to you
Remember how I said in the introduction that many men have a hard time opening up about their feelings? Well, it’s true.
“Society encourages men to express their feelings, but when they do, their partners are often petrified, if not horrified,” writes psychologist Barbara Markway. “Men who deviate from the traditional masculine norm by being emotionally expressive and talking about their fears are often judged as being poorly adjusted.”
That also means that when they do, it can be much more meaningful.
Because of this fear, men usually only open up about their feelings with people they really trust. So if a man is willing to be emotionally vulnerable around you, it’s a good sign that you really mean a lot to him.
4) He is protective of you
It’s important to note that there is a difference between being protective and being possessive.
No man should be trying to control where you go, who you spend time with, or what you do. These are all signs of a controlling and possessive personality that is best avoided.
However, when a man feels strong feelings for you, he may become protective in more benign ways. He will care about your well-being and make efforts to take care of you.
This protective instinct can manifest itself in behaviors like:
- Walking you home or to your car;
- Asking you to check in via text so he knows you arrived safely;
- Encouraging you to take a self-defense class;
- Encouraging you to seek medical help when you need it;
- Standing up for you when people criticize you.
5) He makes prolonged eye contact
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and whether that’s true or not, there’s no denying that eye contact is a very significant sign that someone is interested in you.
“Correct and impressive eye contact can make communication more attractive and impressive, as well as establish a strong bond with the other person,” writes psychologist Mart Seker.
In other words, looking deep into someone’s eyes can actually make you both feel more connected to one another.
We naturally make eye contact more with people we have deep feelings for than we do with more casual acquaintances. So if you’re wondering if a guy likes you, pay attention to his eyes. They may well show that he has some very deep feelings.
6) He brings you into his life
When we care about people, we want them to be part of our lives.
That means we make efforts to bring them into our life wherever we can.
It may mean spending time with his friends. It may mean engaging in his favorite activities. As a relationship gets more serious, it often means meeting his family.
All of these are signs that he wants you to be involved in every part of his life, which shows the depth of his feelings for you.
“How favorably your girlfriend or boyfriend’s family evaluates you (and they are evaluating you!) matters not only for the ease of future family get-togethers, but also for the well-being of your own relationship,” writes psychologist Theresa E. DiDonato.
The truth is, we all take cues from the people around us, and we often solicit the advice of the people who mean most to us when embarking on a new relationship.
If a guy is willing to do this for you, it’s a good sign he feels very strongly about you.
7) He plans for a future with you
This is an even stronger sign of a guy who is truly smitten.
Does he say things like, “We should go on vacation together next year.” Or, “when we have kids…” Or, “when we retire…”?
Because if he does, that means he sees you being a part of his life for the foreseeable future.
“One thing that successful relationships all have in common is that the couples in them make plans for the future, both near and long term,” writes psychologist Barton Goldsmith. “Making plans builds a bond and a stronger sense of security in our hearts.”
If a man does that with you, he’s sending a clear signal that he wants you to be part of his life in the long term.
8) He supports you emotionally
Ultimately, relationships are all about emotional support.
Yes, it’s great to be attracted to one another and have fun together, but it’s the need to both give and receive emotional support that really makes a relationship meaningful.
“Emotional support is an intentional verbal and nonverbal way to show care and affection for another,” writes well-being expert Tchiki Davis. “By providing emotional support to another person, you offer them reassurance, acceptance, encouragement, and caring.”
To put it simply, if a man strives to provide you with emotional support, it’s because he cares about you deeply. If he’s always there for you, in good times and bad, it’s a sure sign that his feelings for you run very deep.
9) He wants to be near you
Finally, don’t overthink it. Sometimes, one of the most important signs a man has deep feelings for you is that he just wants to be around you.
He may find excuses to spend time with you. He may make plans with you to make sure you get some time together. And this is as true in new relationships as it is in long-term, committed ones.
Signs of a man with feelings
Men may try to hide deep feelings for all sorts of reasons, but that doesn’t mean they are always successful. Keep an eye out for these signs, and you’ll know if a man feels very strongly about you.
