8 signs a man doesn’t genuinely value you, even if he says otherwise

Ah yes. We’ve all encountered that guy who showers us with sweet nothings, yet something feels…off.

It’s like being handed a sparkly diamond ring that turns out to be cubic zirconia – sparkly on the surface, but putting on appearances and pretending while lacking the real substance.

But how do we decipher the genuine gems from the cheap imitations? How do we tell when men are being true to their word and value us as much as they say they do?

Believe me, it’s not always easy. But luckily for you, there are subtle signs that reveal a man’s true level of respect and appreciation for you.

So, let’s dive into 8 red flags that suggest he might not value you as much as he claims…

1) The cat disappears after catching the mouse

If you close your eyes, you can almost taste that whirlwind romance you two lovebirds had back the beginning.

The constant, interested texts. The sexy surprise dates. The sweet gestures galore.

Well, if that affection seems to have evaporated once he “won” you over, it’s a major red flag.

Because a man who truly values you will continue to put in effort and show his love consistently, not just during the initial pursuit.

Beware of any overdone early-stage affection, too. You might think it to be totally normal that he’s head over heels and ready to get hitched 2 days after meeting you, but he may well be love bombing

2) Emotionally unavailable

We still live with a great deal of social stigma surrounding men sharing their feelings.

But that doesn’t change the fact that a man who values you will be open and vulnerable, sharing his thoughts and feelings with you.

So, take heed if he constantly shuts down, deflects emotional conversations, or treats you like a therapist without reciprocating.

Sure, he may take a while to open up and get comfortable sharing his deepest thoughts and secrets with you.

But, if that day never comes, it’s a sign he’s not willing to invest emotionally in the relationship.

3) A few too many backhanded compliments

Compliments are lovely, don’t get me wrong, but backhanded ones are anything but.

If his praise often comes with a sting, it’s a sign he’s trying to undermine your confidence and maintain control.

Backhanded compliments come in many shape and forms, and might sound something like the following:

  • “Interesting choice of outfit…”
  • “You really did better than I thought you would on that test!”
  • “That jumper is cute. It’s like the ones my grandma used to wear.”

If his compliments never seem all too genuine, he might be negging you.

Watch out for this behavior, put a stop to it before it goes to far, and don’t let someone who doesn’t value you traipse all over you.

4) Empty, broken promises

Does he constantly make promises he doesn’t keep?

Now, I get it. Life is busy, things come up, plans get cancelled or changed around.

But if your man is constantly suggesting elaborate plans or mentioning buying glitzy presents, only to forget or find himself too busy to commit, bad sign.

A man who doesn’t value your time and feelings won’t prioritize your needs. Even on your birthday.

And your man should be a man of action just as much a man of his word.

If he talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk, he likely doesn’t respect you as much as he ought to.

5) Boundaries? Whose boundaries?

A man who values you will respect your opinions, boundaries, and decisions.

So, if you notice a pattern whereby he constantly interrupts you, talks over you, or dismisses your feelings, it’s a sign he doesn’t see you as an equal partner.

Bad news indeed!

Sometimes, correcting poor behaviors, such as interrupting, takes a little awareness, reflection, and improvement.

But if you’ve brought up his acts of disrespect time and time again, and he continues to waltz all over your boundaries, he likely won’t change…

(So don’t waste too much time trying to change him!)

6) Cheers for his team of choice, but can’t cheer for you

A supportive partner will be your biggest cheerleader, encouraging your dreams and celebrating your accomplishments.

If you know he excels at cheering loudly for his sports team, but constantly puts you down, belittles your goals, or acts indifferent to your successes…

It’s a sign he’s not invested in your happiness and growth.

Whether your goals are as minor as raising some houseplants successfully, or as big as becoming an astronaut, he should be there. Cheering. SCREAMING your name.

If he’s not picking you up when you fall, cheering you on, and always at your back, he might struggle with competition and self-esteem.

Either way, an unsupportive partner doesn’t bode well for long term relationships, so keep an eye out for any behavior that makes you doubt in his supporting skills.

7) The amazing vanishing man

Does he disappear for days without a word, only to reappear with a vague excuse?

(Read more on reasons why he might be acting this way here.)

A man who values you will make an effort to stay connected and communicate regularly, even when he’s busy.

There might come times (and these should only come once in a blue moon) where he does take a little longer to reply, or has to cancel, but these should only rise up in emergencies.

Otherwise, if he’s constantly MIA, it’s a sign he’s not prioritizing your relationship.

Because let’s be honest: it takes less than a minute to send a ‘busy day today, speak later!’ text.

If he can’t even find the time to do that, it’s likely he doesn’t see you as all too much of a priority.

8) Jealousy, jealousy

While a little jealousy can be flattering, excessive jealousy is a sign of insecurity and controlling behavior.

You might miss this at first.

You think it oh-so-sexy and powerful that he’s basically baring his teeth at the other men, across the bar.

“Fight for me, your damsel in distress!”

But the reality is that innocent jealousy quickly turns sour, and can indicate far more sinister issues.

If he constantly accuses you of flirting, questions your friendships with other men, or tries to isolate you from your loved ones, it’s a major, major red flag.

Jealousy and manipulation often go hand in hand, and can be a dangerous combo.

If you notice your partner creeping in, trying to control who you speak to, your social life, your friendships, it’s time to step up and set up an exit plan.

Trust your gut, ladies!

So there you have it, eight signs that he might not value you as much as his words suggest.

Remember, actions speak louder than words, and these subtle behaviors can reveal a lot about his true feelings and intentions.

Now, this isn’t to say that every man who exhibits one of these signs is automatically a bad guy.

We all have our flaws, and relationships require work and understanding. But if you notice a consistent pattern of these behaviors, it’s worth taking a step back and reassessing the situation.

You deserve a love that lifts you up, celebrates your strengths, and supports your dreams.

So, trust your instincts, listen to your heart, and don’t be afraid to walk away if it’s not the right fit.

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