It would be cool if dating was simpler.
But in reality, it usually feels more like Inception meets the Matrix.
Is this guy into me? Is he just having fun? Does he even know how he feels? Do I?
The questions never stop, because the answers are so hard to come by.
The fact of the matter is that many guys are not straightforward about how they feel. Guys sometimes even try to hide their true feelings from themselves.
So if you want to know if a guy is crushing on you then you need to look at his actions and behavior more than just what he says.
Talk is cheap, after all.
Here are the top 39 signs a guy is crushing on you. If he’s doing more than 50% of these, then he’s into you for sure.
39 obvious signs a guy is crushing on you
1) He cares what you say
Imagine that. He cares about what you say.
If he perks up and listens when you speak and actually remembers details you mention and things you care about, then he’s probably got at least a bit of a crush on you or at least strong respect.
Attention is hard to fake.
A guy who isn’t into you will let his attention wander like crazy. One who is into you will be attentive and care what you’re saying.
2) He wants you to like his friends
A guy who doesn’t care much, either way, will generally make it obvious.
But a guy who has caught feelings for you is going to care what you think of his friends and those close to him.
He’ll watch your reactions and introduce his friends in the best possible light in hopes that you’ll also see how cool they are.
3) He’s curious George
Whether or not his name is actually George — and assuming he’s not a monkey — this guy is like curious George.
He wants to know where you’re from, what you do, your dreams for the future, and every other little detail under the sun.
He may try to play it cool but watch for that spark of interest in him. If he’s asking you multiple questions it’s a clear sign that he’s at least curious about you and quite possibly in a romantic way.
4) Keep your eyes on his eyes
When a guy likes you certain changes take place in him that are outside his control. These are deep in his instinctive system.
One of the most obvious is that his eye pupils get super big. It’s what happens when we look at something we like.
So if you’re out with him and his pupils are turning into big pizza pies then it’s either really dim in the restaurant you’re in or he’s crushing on you.
5) He wants to do stuff with you
This might seem obvious but it’s worth mentioning that a guy who’s crushing on you will want to do stuff with you, from going to the beach to skiing and everything in between.
He’ll even enjoy just chilling over a cup of tea or watching a movie together that he’s barely even into.
But the time around you makes it more than worth it for him.
6) He turns that frown upside down
Even a moody and serious guy tends to light up a bit when he’s around a girl that he’s attracted to. Even if it’s only subtle at the corner of his lips, watch for hints of a smile.
Smiles happen when we’re happy and few things make a guy happier than spending time with his love interest.
When he smiles a lot around you it can often be one of the top signs a guy is crushing on you.
7) He wants to meet your family and friends
One of the signs a guy is crushing on you is that he wants to meet your family and friends.
It’s important to him that you value him and that he can be a part of your life as much as reasonably possible.
And what could be more part of your life than getting to know those closest to you?
8) He cares what you think of him
One of the telltale signs a guy is crushing on you is that he cares what you think of him.
He asks what you think of his beard or blushes when you say he’s looking good today.
He lights up like a Christmas tree when you say you appreciate how generous or kind he is and he generally puts a lot of stock in what you think and feels about him.
9) He blushes around you
Blushing is a sign of attraction. When he gets redder than Rudolph’s nose around you and blushes at compliments or attention from you then there’s a good chance he’s got a crush.
Blushing isn’t really something we “choose” to do, so it can be one of the surest signs of attraction.
At that point, it’s just a matter of deciding if you have a crush too or whether he’s on his own on this one.
10) He respects your boundaries
In every way, a guy who is crushing on you will not disrespect or use you. He will respect your boundaries.
This includes your boundaries around physical intimacy. Even if he’s incredibly attracted to you he will respect what you tell him about taking it slow on physical intimacy.
And he won’t ditch you or not talk to you because of something like that or any other of your limits that you talk about with him.
11) He cleans up for your benefit
When a guy cleans his room for you and grooms himself a lot when he’s going to see you it’s a sign that he’s interested.
Think of the last time you were really into a guy:
Did you just throw on a sweatshirt and jeans and wear a ballcap from the back of your closet?
Chances are you put some time and energy into your appearance and even changed outfits a couple of times in anticipation of seeing him.
It goes both ways.
12) He’s heading in your direction
One of the most reliable signs a guy is crushing on you is that he usually heads in your direction when he sees you.
And he points his feet and gazes toward you.
He may be shy and not always look you in the eye, but watch how his body is oriented. If it’s facing towards you constantly, even in a crowd of friends or other people, there’s a good chance he’s into you.
13) He’s a tapdance star
A guy who tweaks and taps a lot around you has a good chance of being into you.
He may just be restless or be trying out for a Riverdance revival, but there’s often a romantic reason that he does this.
He does it because all that nervous romantic energy needs somewhere to go, so it turns him into a toe-tapping fiend that just can’t hide his excitement.
14) He’s in your space
This is another one of those signs that can be super sweet if you’re into him or super creepy if you’re not.
When he usually leans towards you and is in your space, it is one of the biggest signs a guy is crushing on you.
When he’s digging you he wants to get all up in that and be as close to you as possible. He’s hoping that his pheromones will eventually just drive you so crazy that you lean into him too.
15) He’s all palms
We evolved to use our hands for hunting, healing, and communicating. When someone shows their palms a lot it is a sign of trust and attraction.
If he’s constantly fidgeting or keeping his hands from your view, he’s likely not into you or has strong social anxiety.
When his hands are waving and evident, he’s more likely into you.
16) Watch his throat
When his Adam’s apple bobs like an apple-bobbing contest, it can be a sign that he’s feeling really self-conscious and attracted.
Keep your eyes on his throat. He may also touch it quite often, subconsciously signaling a desire to connect with you and open himself up to you.
Is he adjusting his tie or touching his throat a lot? It could be love.
17) He tells you the truth even if it’s hard
One of the top signs a guy is crushing on you is when he tells you the truth even when it’s hard.
He won’t lie to you just to let you down easily or mislead you in various ways to get what he wants.
He’ll tell you the hard truth whether it’s the fact that his ex still wants to get back with him or that he has personal issues he’s working on.
18) He gives you that puppy dog look
When he’s into you, he tends to make eye contact as much as possible and give you puppy dog eyes.
He’ll tilt his head a little when you talk and give you his undivided attention. That’s his heart telling you that it’s open for business and he’s hoping yours is too.
19) He looks ravenous
If he looks at you like you’re a juicy steak, it probably means he likes what he says.
When a guy licks his lips it’s usually a strong sign of attraction. He may not even be aware that he’s doing it.
But his romantic instincts deep inside are kicking up a fuss and causing that lip-licking reaction.
20) He’s a sweaty boy
One of the signs a guy is crushing on you is that his palms are sweaty (regardless of mom’s spaghetti). He becomes a sweaty boy around you and looks like he just mowed five lawns in a row.
It’s clear that he’s crushing on you and he wants to see you lick an ice cream cone slowly on a hot summer day.
21) You’re his favorite thing to look at
Men like to look at lovely things. If he eyes you up and down like a delicious dessert then he’s probably more after the physical…
But when he looks at you with that deeper gaze, it can be a real sign that his interest goes beyond the physical and into the true crush-zone.
If you want to know then try to observe the difference between how he looks at you and other women. Is there any difference?
22) He takes a big breath when he sees you
Sometimes we women overthink things. We look for all sorts of signals that a guy is into us that aren’t there and we go back over his words for hours and hours.
But what’s better is to just look at his body language. Men will often take a deep breath before they see you, instinctively puffing out their chest to look bigger.
Nature doesn’t lie.
23) He manspreads
Manspreading is one of those things that really tick off some women on the subway and bus as a symbol of male entitlement. But in romance, it can be a body language codebreaker.
Manspreading can mean that he’s opening up to you and trying to get comfortable to be more vulnerable around you.
24) He plays around and teases you
If you watch the Discovery Channel much you’ll notice that animals who are attracted to each other will roll around and play fight.
The human equivalent is light teasing and playing around.
If you’re friends, you might find it tricky to figure out the difference between friend banter or something more, but just watch for any edge to his jokes.
Is there some sexual tension under them or are they just harmless things a friend would say?
25) He makes the first move
When a guy is interested, he will generally show it by reaching out to get in touch with you. That might start with getting your number and go from there.
26) He eyes up your lips
Looking at the lips is a sure sign of attraction.
Watch the direction of his eyes. If he’s checking out your cleavage, then he’s probably more into something just sexual.
If he’s got his eyes on your lips, then the signal is more along the lines of romance and sensual kissing.
27) Other men trigger him
One of the most glaring signs a guy is crushing on you is when his behavior has big changes around other guys or when the subject of other guys comes up.
Even if he’s a fun-loving dude, he’s going to clamp up and get a little weird when you talk about a guy you might like or when another guy tries to chat you up.
Look for signs that he’s trying to take it easy but is actually stressed and uncomfortable.
28) He’s a softie for you
When men feel sexual or romantic attraction, their voice often changes.
A man who is into you will often have a softer tone of voice and talk in a lower tone at a slower speed around you. If you’re getting the vocal velvet treatment then it’s probably not a mistake.
This is an especially important sign if he usually talks more loudly in a crowd but softens up around you.
29) All the small things
When a guy cares, he keeps track of all the small things.
It’s not about remembering your birthday or big dates in your life, because you can be sure he’ll be on point for those. But he’ll also remember small things like the fact that you hate cilantro or why you prefer sugarless gum.
This guy is crushing hard.
30) He stumbles with his words
If he stumbles over his words around you like Joe Biden, then it can be due to nerves from being attracted to you.
He’s often stumbling with his words because he wants you to care what he’s saying but he’s feeling self-conscious about what he says.
He may also just be drunk or elderly, but who am I to judge?
31) He makes friends with your friends
Just as he wants to get in your good books and win your heart, he also wants to get in with your friends.
He wants to spend time with them and win their trust and approval.
This can become a bit much if he tries to poach or coopt your friends, but in general, he will be able to tread that fine line between being friends with your friends while still focusing his attention on you.
32) He calls you when he gets lit
None of us like to get drunk dialed all the time, but doing so can be a sign that you’re someone he has high on his hotlist.
When you drink your inhibitions are often lowered and you want to speak what you really feel.
He will often dial you up because he’s feeling bold — and plus if he says “I love you”, he can always just say it was a joke.
33) Your shoulder seems to be a magnet for his hands
This is obviously not always a good thing, but if he’s a guy you’re into then it can be amazing.
He’s constantly putting a hand on your shoulders, arms, maybe hips if he’s feeling bold.
Why? Probably not to be a better friend to you.
34) He cares about your core values and beliefs
When a guy is crushing on you he wants to know the real you, not just your outer persona.
He will care about your core values and beliefs, including the beliefs of your family, your formative experiences, issues, and values which are important to you, and everything else you are passionate about.
Even if he doesn’t agree with all of your views or beliefs, he will be highly curious about them and care about them.
35) He admires you
One of the clearest signs a guy is crushing on you is that he admires you and wants to imitate you in certain ways.
Watch out for a guy who just pretends to like what you do to get in your pants, but a guy who is crushing on you will tend to be very curious about the music you like, your favorite movies, and all sorts of other things.
And he will be very likely to at least give them a try.
36) He shares his thoughts
A guy who’s into you will give you advice and try his best to make your life better.
When he could just as easily turn away and go do his own thing or focus on his own problems, instead he will choose to spend time and energy to hear your issues and help you.
His investment in your life means something and there’s a high probability that it means he’s into you.
37) He loves to teach you new skills
This one is definitely a sign that a guy is crushing on you.
When he takes time to teach you new skills or spend time in learning activities with you, he’s probably got his eyes on winning your heart as well.
Teaching people new things is a lot of fun, as long as it’s not your Boomer parents on a computer.
But when he takes extra time and effort to show you the ropes there’s a good chance he’s got it bad for you.
38) He buys you thoughtful gifts
Any guy can buy a random box of chocolates. But a guy who is really crushing on you will buy thoughtful gifts that align with your interests and passions.
If you love horses next thing you know he bought an amazing wall print of a foal running on a verdant green field.
If you are super into classic movies he’s just purchased you a subscription to a vintage movie site with some of the rarest of the rare.
39) He wants to lend a hand
Some guys are just real angels and want to help out. But when a guy is crushing on you he tends to want to be there with a helping hand at all possible times.
From helping you with groceries to being the first one to offer to pitch in when you’re moving, a guy who’s caught feelings for you is going to be right at the front of the line.
Is he crushing or not?
Guys can be hard to understand.
(As for us girls? Open book all the way!)
If you’re unclear how he’s feeling then you need to do your best to go with the flow and not jump the gun.
Maybe he is a bit into it, maybe he’s very interested, maybe he has no interest in you at all.
The above 39 signs should help you find out, so watch for them the next time you’re around this mysterious guy.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.