9 signs a guy doesn’t really like you (he’s just using you for an ego boost)

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

When it comes to relationships, it’s important to figure out if you’re dealing with real connections or hidden motives. Understanding someone’s feelings can be tricky, but there are signs that might hint at insincerity. 

If you’re wondering about a guy’s intentions, keep an eye out for these 9 signs that might suggest he’s not genuinely interested but might be using you for an ego boost.

Trust me. Spotting these signals can really help you navigate relationships with more clarity.

1) He only calls when he needs something

This one is a classic and quite telling if you’re looking for signs.

Ever notice how he only seems to call or text when he needs a favor or some form of validation? It’s like he’s got you on speed dial for an ego boost, but is strangely absent when you need emotional support or companionship.

If this sounds familiar, it’s probably not because he’s forgetful or too busy. It could be a sign that he’s using you to inflate his self-esteem rather than genuinely valuing your company.

2) He doesn’t show interest in your life

I remember dating this one guy who was charming, funny and always up for a good time. But after a while, I noticed something off.

Whenever we would hang out, our conversations revolved entirely around him. He never asked about my day, my interests, or anything about my life. It was as if he didn’t see me as a person with my own experiences and feelings.

It took me a while to realize it, but this was a clear sign that he wasn’t really interested in me. He was more focused on having an audience to listen to his stories and boost his ego.

If you’re in a similar situation where the guy you’re seeing doesn’t take an interest in your life, it might be a sign that he’s just using you for an ego boost. Because in a healthy relationship, both parties should take an equal interest in each other’s lives.

3) He’s not there for you when you need him

Relationships, whether they’re friendships or romantic, are about mutual support. They require both parties to be there for each other through thick and thin.

Now, imagine you’re going through a tough time and you reach out to the guy you’re seeing for support. Instead of offering consolation or even just lending an ear, he’s dismissive or worse, completely absent. 

If the guy you’re seeing is consistently not there for you during hard times, it might be because he’s more interested in seeking a temporary thrill than being genuinely invested in your well-being.

4) He’s always looking for compliments

Compliments are a lovely part of any relationship. They make us feel valued, seen, and appreciated. But what happens when it becomes one-sided?

If the guy you’re dating always wants compliments, he might be using your praise to feel better about himself instead of really connecting with you. This behavior suggests an imbalance in the relationship, where one person seeks reassurance to boost their ego.

In these situations, it’s important to think about what the relationship is based on. Is it built on caring about each other, sharing interests, and emotional connection, or is it just a way for one person to feel good about themselves?

5) He disappears after getting what he wants

You know that feeling when he’s all sweet and attentive one moment, then vanishes into thin air as soon as he gets what he wants?

Whether it’s a favor, a boost to his social status, or even just emotional validation, his interest seems to wane as soon as his needs are met.

This pattern of behavior can be incredibly confusing and hurtful. It’s a clear sign that he might not be genuinely interested in you, but rather what you can offer him.

Remember, someone who truly cares will stick around because they value your company, not just what you can do for them.

6) You often feel used and unappreciated

This one might sound obvious, but it’s surprisingly easy to overlook when you’re caught up in the whirlwind of emotions that come with liking someone.

Frequently feeling used and unappreciated is a clear sign that something isn’t right. Relationships should be based on mutual respect and appreciation, and you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel valued, not used.

Listen to your gut feelings. They are there for a reason. If you constantly feel like an ego boost to him rather than a person he truly cares about, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship.

7) He doesn’t include you in his future plans

I once dated a guy who was always talking about his future. His plans, his goals, his dreams. It was all very exciting. But then I noticed something – I was never part of those plans.

He would talk about traveling the world, advancing in his career, even where he wanted to settle down. But not once did he mention how I fit into those plans or express an interest in sharing those experiences with me.

In a genuine relationship, conversations about the future should be inclusive. If they’re not, it’s because one partner is not ready for commitment, according to psychology

8) He doesn’t make an effort to understand you

Every individual is unique, with their own dreams, passions, and quirks. In a solid relationship, both parties take the time to understand and appreciate these unique aspects of each other.

However, if the guy you’re seeing shows little to no interest in understanding your likes, dislikes, or what makes you tick, it could be a major red flag. It might mean he’s more interested in how you can boost his ego than in truly getting to know you.

9) He doesn’t make you feel special

When your partner doesn’t make you feel special, it’s a big hint they might just be using you for an ego boost.

Feeling special in a relationship is all about being recognized and appreciated for who you are. If your partner isn’t showing you that, it could mean they’re not genuinely connected or invested in your emotional well-being. 

A strong relationship is one where both partners make each other feel special, creating a deeper and longer-lasting connection. On the flip side, an ego-driven dynamic can leave you feeling unfulfilled and not truly appreciated.

Final thoughts: It’s all about respect

At the heart of every relationship – romantic or otherwise – lies a fundamental concept: respect.

Respect for each other’s feelings, needs, and individuality. It’s this mutual respect that forms the bedrock of genuine connection and intimacy.

If you’re seeing signs that a guy is using you for an ego boost, it may be a clear indication of a lack of respect. Remember, you deserve to be seen, heard, and valued for who you are, not just for what you can offer to someone else’s self-esteem.

Reflect on these signs, trust your instincts, and remember your worth. Because in the end, relationships should uplift us, not leave us feeling used.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

If someone uses these 9 phrases in a conversation, they lack authenticity

11 body language hacks that make you look genuinely elegant