7 signs a friend secretly doesn’t want you to succeed in life

Growing up, I was often told “Friends are the family we choose.” They’re our support system, our cheerleaders, the voice of reason when we’re about to make a questionable decision. But what if some friends aren’t rooting for you as much as you think?

Pause for a moment.

Have you ever encountered a friend who seems to subtly undermine your success rather than celebrate it?

Here’s the deal.

Not everyone in your life might be as excited about your victories as you are. It’s hard to accept, but some people close to you might not want you to succeed.

So, if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Is my friend truly happy for me?” I’m going to share 7 signs that might indicate your friend secretly doesn’t want you to succeed in life.

Remember, not all friendships are built equal. Recognizing these signs could help you understand the dynamics of your relationships better.

1) They downplay your accomplishments

We all know the feeling.

You’ve worked hard, achieved something great, and you’re eager to share your accomplishment with your friends. You expect them to be happy for you, to share in your joy and excitement.

But instead, they downplay it.

Maybe they say it’s not that big of a deal. Or they quickly change the subject. Or worse, they belittle your achievement, making you feel like you’ve done something wrong instead of something great.

This is a classic sign that a friend might not want you to succeed in life. A true friend would celebrate your victories with you, not diminish them. Remember, a friend’s reaction to your success can speak volumes about their true feelings.

2) They never seem to have time for you

I’m sure we’ve all been there.

There was a time in my life when I was constantly reaching out to a friend. “Let’s catch up,” I’d say. “We haven’t seen each other in ages.”

But it was always the same response: “I’m swamped. Maybe next week.”

Weeks turned into months, and I couldn’t help but notice that this friend always seemed to have time for other people, but never for me.

I soon realized that the relationship was one-sided. I was making all the effort, while they were making excuses. It wasn’t about their lack of time, but rather their lack of interest.

If a friend constantly avoids spending time with you, especially if you’re going through significant life changes or successes, it could be a sign that they don’t want you to succeed in life. After all, a true friend would want to be there to share these moments with you.

3) They’re quick to highlight your failures

Let’s get real here.

Nobody’s perfect. We all stumble, we all fall, and sometimes, we faceplant right into failure. It’s part of being human.

But here’s the twist.

You’ve failed at something. You’re feeling low, and you confide in your friend, seeking solace. And instead of offering comfort, they seem to relish in your failure. They might say things like “I told you so,” or “you should have listened to me.”

This happened to me once when I was launching my first startup. I was already beating myself up over some initial setbacks, and instead of words of encouragement, my friend chimed in with, “Well, I knew this was a risky idea.”

It felt like a punch in the gut.

Remember, a true friend should lift you up when you’re down, not push you further into the mud. If they seem to take pleasure in your failures more than they rejoice in your successes, that could be a sign they don’t want you to succeed in life.

4) They’re competitive, not supportive

Competition can be healthy. It can push us to better ourselves, to strive for more.

But there’s a line.

I once had a friend who was always turning everything into a competition. If I got a promotion, they’d try to one-up me with their own achievements. If I bought a new car, they’d quickly buy a better one.

Rather than being supportive, they were always trying to outdo me. It felt like every victory of mine was a challenge to them.

Friendship isn’t about competition. It’s about mutual support and celebration of each other’s accomplishments. If your friend is always trying to outshine you instead of being happy for you, it might be a sign that they don’t truly want you to succeed in life.

5) They spread negative energy

It’s said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Think about that for a moment.

Now, consider a friend who’s always pessimistic, always focusing on the negatives, always bringing you down. You share your dreams and aspirations, and they respond with skepticism, doubt, or outright negativity.

This can weigh heavily on your own mindset and ambition. Negative energy can be infectious, leading you to doubt yourself and your ability to succeed.

A friend who constantly spreads negativity and doubt, rather than positivity and belief in your success, might not want you to succeed in life. A true friend would inspire you to reach for the stars, not hold you down with their negative energy.

6) They never ask about your well-being

Life can be tough.

We all go through ups and downs, and sometimes, we need a friend to ask, “How are you really doing?”

I remember when I was going through a difficult time. I was stressed, overwhelmed, and feeling like a failure. But one friend never seemed to notice or ask how I was doing.

It’s not that they didn’t know about my struggles. I had shared my feelings with them, but they seemed more interested in talking about themselves than inquiring about my well-being.

When a friend doesn’t show interest in your well-being, especially during challenging times, it could indicate that they don’t truly care about your success or happiness.

Remember, empathy is at the heart of true friendship. A friend who truly wants you to succeed in life would show genuine concern for your well-being.

7) They aren’t there when you need them most

This is the crux of it all.

A friend who isn’t there for you in your darkest moments, who isn’t there to celebrate your brightest victories, may not truly want you to succeed in life.

Life is a rollercoaster. It has its highs and its lows. And who we choose to ride this rollercoaster with can greatly impact our journey.

A friend who truly wants you to succeed will be there to hold your hand during the lows and cheer for you during the highs. If they’re absent when you need them most, it might be time to question whether they truly want the best for you.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these signs can be a tough pill to swallow. It’s never easy to question the motives of those close to us.

But remember, this is about your wellbeing, your journey.

If you find yourself nodding along to these signs, take a moment for self-reflection. Ask yourself, “Are these relationships serving me? Are they allowing me to grow, to flourish?”

It’s important to remember that it’s okay to distance yourself from those who may not have your best interests at heart. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It simply means you’re prioritizing your mental and emotional health.

Consider this quote by American poet Maya Angelou: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

Take it to heart.

Friendships should uplift you, inspire you, and celebrate your successes. Do not settle for anything less.

As you navigate through this journey, be gentle with yourself. Change isn’t easy, but with time and patience, you’ll find the strength to surround yourself with those who truly want the best for you.

And in the end, that’s what real friendship is all about.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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