Do you think that a male coworker likes you?
Don’t know whether he’s just an extra nice guy, or he’s actually flirting with you?
We’ve all been there before, and there’s no doubt it can be tough to figure out.
But it becomes a lot easier when you study and learn about male psychology.
So in this article, I’m going to go through every tell-tale sign that your coworker has a crush on you.
We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.
1. He tries to spend time alone with you.
If you work in an office, I’m sure that you have quite a few coworkers around you.
But even with all the busyness and professionals rushing around, if you find yourself spending a lot of time with just him, then it could be a sign that he is orchestrating time alone with you.
He may try to go to the lunchroom at the exact same time as you, or when the workday ends, he makes sure to walk to the car with you.
To work this sign-out, all you have to do is notice how often he manages to be side by side with you, and then compare that to how often your other coworkers get one-on-one time with you.
If it is A LOT more than anyone else, then you can get your bottom dollar that he has a romantic crush on you.
2. He asks about things that have nothing to do with work.
If he likes you, he’ll want to move the rapport and connection beyond work-related topics.
For example, he’ll ask you about what your favorite hobbies are, or where you like to hang out with your friends.
Whatever it is, he just wants to build rapport outside of work.
More importantly, he wants to get to know you!
A giveaway sign is if he asks you directly if you’re seeing someone. This is a clear-cut sign that he likes you.
However, he may not come out and say it directly, and instead, he’ll be more subtle about it.
For example, if you tell him that you went to a party on the weekend, he’ll ask you if you went with your boyfriend.
That way, he can work out whether you are actually seeing someone.
If he does this, then it’s obvious that he is interested in your relationship status.
In the end, if he is asking you a lot of personal questions, it means that he wants to build rapport and get to know you for who you are outside of work.
Does he seem interested in what you are saying and does he engage in the conversation or is he just checking his phone in between drinks of his beer? If it’s all eyes on you, then he’s interested.
This is a sure sign that he likes you and might be pushing to ask you on a date soon.
3. He feels like this around you
Even if you guys are just hanging out at work now, do you make him feel needed? Do you let him step up to the plate for you? Do you let him protect you (even in little ways)?
Then chances are your coworker is going to like you a lot.
There’s a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology which claims that men are much more likely to fall in love with women who make them feel like a hero.
People are calling it the hero instinct.
The simple truth is that men have a biological urge to provide for and protect women. It’s hardwired into them.
By making him feel like an everyday hero, it unleashes his protective instincts and the most noble aspect of his masculinity. Most importantly, it will unleash his deepest feelings of attraction.
And the kicker?
A man won’t fall for a woman when this thirst isn’t satisfied.
I know it sounds kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protector.
The hero instinct is a legitimate concept in relationship psychology that I personally believe has a lot of truth to it.
To learn exactly how to trigger the hero instinct in your coworker, check out this free online video by James Bauer. He’s an experienced relationship psychologist who first introduced the concept.
Some ideas really are life-changing. And for romantic relationships, I think this is one of them.
4. He looks at you with those seductive eyes
You know what kind of eyes I’m talking about.
Those staring, puppy dog type of eyes that stick on you like glue.
He loves the way you look, he’s attracted to you, and he can’t take his eyes off your face.
And you know that the way he looks at you isn’t the same as everyone else.
If you believe that this is true, then the signs point to the fact that he has a crush on you.
If you’re not totally sure, here’s how you can tell:
- If he maintains eye contact with you, he’s definitely interested.
- If his eyes wander to your mouth, he’s interested.
- If he looks away quickly when you catch him looking, he’s probably interested and shy. This is especially important to remember. If his head turns ridiculously quickly, he is likely shy. Have patience and you’ll get more opportunities for eye contact!
- On the other hand, if he breaks eye contact with you and continues gazing around the room, then he may not be interested in you.
- If you don’t like the guy, break eye contact and continue scanning the room.
- If he tells a joke or says something funny, his eyes will glance towards you to see if you’ve laughed.
5. What would Sigmund Freud say?
To decide whether a coworker likes you you or is just wants to be friends, you need real and honest advice.
Having studied relationships and psychology most of my adult life, I know a thing or two about it.
But why not turn to the most famous psychologist of all?
Yes, Dr. Sigmund Freud can tell you whether a male coworker likes you or not.
Simply take this brilliant quiz from my friends at Ideapod. Answer a few personal questions and Freud himself will dredge through all the subconscious issues motivating your man to give you the most accurate (and downright fun) answer of all.
Sigmund Freud was the grand master at understanding sex and attraction. This quiz is the next best thing to setting down one-on-one with the famous psychoanalyst.
I took it myself a few weeks ago and was amazed at the unique insights I received.
6. He wants to connect with you on social media
Let’s be honest:
It’s pretty rare to connect with your coworkers on social media.
It only really happens when you’ve worked a long time with someone.
So if he is making the move to get your contact details on social media, then there’s a fair chance he likes you.
Because he is trying to move your relationship outside of work. More importantly, he is trying to build rapport in a different setting.
A man knows that nothing can happen inside the workplace. The magic happens outside of work!
If it’s normal for your work colleagues to connect on social media, then perhaps it may not be as big a thing.
But if you catch him liking and commenting on all your photos, then you know that he is snooping around because he likes you.
However, watch out for him if he just sends you one-word responses on social media. This means they’re not making much of an effort in their messages to you and probably don’t like you the way that you like them.
If their responses are thoughtful and they’re responding back quickly, it means they’re willing to dedicate a lot of time to you. Time is a great indicator that they like you.
7. When you have an issue at work, he wants to be your hero
When you have a problem, is he the first person jump at the chance to help?
When a guy likes a girl, they tend to get very protective and they want to be their hero that saves the day.
Not only that, but if he jumps at the chance of helping you, he is probably doing so so he can spend more time with you.
After all, spending time alone with you is a way to build rapport.
Going above and beyond to help you is the clearest sign that you’ve triggered his hero instinct.
I mentioned this concept above.
The hero instinct is probably the best kept secret in relationship psychology. I think it holds the key to making a man commit to a deep and passionate relationship.
Watch this excellent free video to learn exactly how to use the hero instinct to get into a relationship with your coworker.
7. He never looks scruffy at work
If a male coworker likes you, then they’ll want to impress you with every chance they get.
You know what this means, right?
He won’t rock up to work looking scruffy!
This is especially the case if you notice he started dressing better since he started getting to know you.
That’s what guys do. They don’t typically care how they look when they’ve got no females to impress, but as soon as they’re crushing on someone, BAM! They’ve got a haircut and they’re wearing a whole new wardrobe.
Keep an nose out for how he smells. If he is wearing nice smelling cologne, you can bet your bottom dollar he’s into you.
8. His body language is picking up what you’re putting down.
Body language is probably the most important indicator to figure out if someone likes you.
Because most of us don’t typically notice what our body is doing. It’s completely reliant on our subconscious.
One of the biggest body language signs to look out for is if his body is facing towards you.
This means that his attention is really on you, and he cares about what you’re thinking.
On the other hand, if his body never really facing yours, then it might be a sign that he doesn’t really have feelings for you.
Does he smile at you and gesture at you? It could be the real thing.
If you are standing near a guy and he is interested, he’ll lean into you, want to be near you, and make eye contact on the regular to try to let you know he is interested.
He could also just come right out and say it, but that is highly unlikely. So stick with deciphering body language and some of these other tricks to tell if a guy likes you for sure.
Another body language sign to look for is how nervous he is around you. We all know that we tend to get nervous around our object of affection.
If you notice that he is fidgety, or he is talking fast, then it might be the case that he is nervous because he wants to impress you.
You can work this out by seeing how he acts around other coworkers. If he is usually relaxed and calm with others, but is a bit hyper, fidgety, and talking fast around you, then it’s probably because he likes you,.
Also, look out for what he is doing with his lips. He may lick his lips or part his lips when he is looking at you.
He won’t notice he is doing this, but subconsciously it shows that he is trying to sexually excite you.
9. He can’t help but compliment you
This isn’t exactly subtle, but if he compliments then you know that he likes you.
I’m not talking about the generic, boring compliments like “You look great”.
I’m talking about the more thoughtful compliments. If he says he loves your walking style, or he loves your cute awkward smile, then you know he is paying attention to the finer details of who you are.
He is noticing what makes you different, and more importantly, that is what is probably turning you on.
At least you know it’s genuine. Now you can just need to figure out if you like him, too.
Also, if you can, see how he talks about you to others. If he is highly complimentary of you when he talks about you to others, then that’s another sign that he is picking up what you’re putting down.
10. You have inside jokes together
Are you two the best of friends in the office? Are you always laughing together about something that no other coworkers would understand?
This is obviously a clear sign that you have a Jim and Pam situation going on.
You’ve both got chemistry together and he’s always trying to make you laugh.
Not only does it make office life more fun, but he actually seeks you out to tell you a joke.
Look, it’s no secret that when a guy likes a girl, he tries to make her laugh.
So if he is telling you jokes, making you laugh and you’re both enjoying shooting the shit together, then he probably likes you.
11. He flirts, flirts and flirts some more
Office life is boring, and to make it a little fun, flirting can go a long way.
While there is a lot of harmless flirting between coworkers, if he likes you he is probably taking it a yard further.
This is especially the case if he doesn’t worry about flirting with other female coworkers, and instead, focuses his efforts on flirting with you.
You’re probably wondering:
What constitutes flirting?
It could be playful jokes, or playful roleplays that he plays with you and no one else.
He might tease you to get an emotional reaction out of you.
Or it could be something as simple a smile directed at you from across the room.
If you know that every day you go to work, he is going to try flirting with you, then you can be sure that he genuinely likes you.
12. Your coworkers tell you that he likes you
Coworkers aren’t as dim as they sim.
Everyone observes what goes on in the office, and most people can pick up when there’s sexual tension between coworkers.
So if your coworkers are mentioning to you the fact that he likes you, then you can bet that they’re onto something.
Maybe they’ve even heard him talk about you. Who knows!
They may also notice that you spend time together or comment on how you would be a good couple.
13. The sexual tension between the two of you is through the roof
If you’ve ever found yourself feeling red in the face, making eye contact over and over again, and feeling your knees get weak whenever your male coworker walks by, it’s probably because there’s undeniable sexual tension between the two of you.
If you fix your hair, if he fixes his, if he leans in or touches your arm, pay attention to that.
Does your heart rate tick up? Do your hands get sweatier?
According to Dr. Kirk, this is actually the stimulation of adrenaline and norepinephrine:
“This can lead to having a physical sensation of craving and the desire to focus your attention on that specific person.”
What’s more, your pupils dilate when you’re attracted to someone because there’s stimulation in your nervous system sympathetic branch.
The signs of sexual tension are pretty clear and as old as time itself. If someone likes you, whether they say it or not, they can show you with their body language.
14. His tone of voice is getting deeper
This is an interesting one that can be easy to miss.
When the sexual attraction is in the air, people tend to naturally change their voice tone. A women’s tone becomes softer and gentler and a man becomes deeper and richer.
So if you notice that your male coworker’s voice is getting deeper around you compared to when he speaks to others, it might be because he likes you.
15. Is he acting weird?
If a guy is into you, he is going to start to act a little differently around you.
He might stumble over his words or try to show off in front of you.
If he is paying attention to you and ignoring other coworkers, or seems to be acting differently than he used to act around you, it could be that he sees something he didn’t see in you before.
This kind of weirdness will usually come out in terms of nervous energy. Perhaps they’ll sweat a little more, or they’ll take more deep breathes.
It can also play out in terms of banter and jokes. If they’re constantly telling jokes or playfully teasing you, then they’re probably interested in you.
Don’t let it weird you out – just keep playing it cool and he’ll come around. Once he settles down and realizes that you are into him too, he’ll relax.
16. Is he mirroring your actions?
Imitating one’s actions is generally a sign that he respects and admires you. It’s also something that happens subconsciously.
Here’s what to look out for:
– Is his energy level mirroring yours? This can include things like speaking at a similar pace to you or leaning back on the chair when you’re leaning back.
– Is he starting to use similar language to you? This can include the same shortened words or slang.
– Is he copying some your mannerisms like touching your hair or using your hands when speaking?
If you can say yes to one of these, then he likes you.
How to tell for sure if your coworker likes you
Want to know the best way to tell if your coworker likes you? Ask him.
Or let him know you like him. This isn’t high school, and there’s no need for games.
Cut the chase and let him know you think he’s cool and he’ll either say the same or tell you he’s not interested.
If that’s not your style, and granted, it’s not a lot of people’s style, especially in the workplace, keep paying attention to how he acts around you, how he treats you, how he speaks to you, and if he makes an effort to spend more time around you.
All of these things combined can be strong indicators that he is totally interested.
And if you aren’t into him, be sure to let him know and let him down gently. There’s no need to ruin his confidence in his pursuit of you. “Just not that into you” goes both ways.
So be kind and frank about it if you must break his heart.
How to take your relationship to the next level…
Now that you’ve read the signs and you know that your coworker likes you, how do you take the relationship to the next level?
There can be a lot of beating around the bush when it comes to office relationships. It’s a delicate balance of controlling your emotions and making sure you stay professional while in the workplace.
But there is one sure way to get your relationship off the ground and into the commitment phase as quickly as possible.
What’s the secret to being more than colleagues with a co-worker?
It all comes down to the hero instinct.
This game-changing concept was first used by relationship expert James Bauer in his bestselling dating book His Secret Obsession. It describes the biological drive inside a man to provide for those he cares about.
This drive is amplified in romantic relationships.
By triggering your man’s hero instinct, he will feel like an everyday hero in your life.
Men want to make a difference in the lives of those who are important to them — especially women they love.
Get out of the friend stage and step into the relationship zone. No more questioning whether or not he has feelings for you.
Get started today by watching this excellent free video here.
Putting yourself first in 2022
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal for 2022?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…it’s the start of a new year after all!
No, I emailed you because I want to help you achieve the goal (or goals) you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,
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