Alright, so you’ve got this guy friend who’s been hanging around for a while and you’re starting to think that you might like him more than a friend.
Great! Now what?
Now you have the difficult job of figuring out if he feels the same way!
It’s no secret that friends-turned-lovers doesn’t always go as planned, but that’s why you’re doing your homework before you declare your love.
You want to make sure this guy is digging you as much as you’re digging him and you want to know what’s up before you make a fool of yourself, right?
We get it.
While it’s scary to tell someone you love them, just remember how amazing it is at the same time.
Imagine someone telling you they love you – it would make anyone feel better about themselves.
If you need to know where his head is at before you make a move, this list can help.
1. He’s got all the questions.
It seems no matter how much he knows about you, he just can’t seem to get enough.
He is always asking you about yourself, your life before you met each other, and what your hopes and dreams are for the future.
He could sit and listen to you talk at length about something that happened five minutes ago or five years ago.
And he doesn’t just sit there paying lip service to your stories, he actually listens and remembers what you’ve said.
You might feel like you’re talking his ear off, but rest assured, he’s taking in every word and filing it away under “need to remember.”
He not only hears you but listens to you intently and recalls the important things you’ve told him.
Years could go by and if you bring up that one time when you did that thing, he’ll be able to finish the story for you.
Not that friends don’t do that for each other, but you don’t have any other friends like this guy.
He’s the only one who really gets you, just the way you are.
2. He feels like your hero
Even if you guys are just friends now, do you make him feel needed? Do you let him step up to the plate for you? Do you let him provide for and protect you (even in little ways)?
Then chances are he is going to like you a lot.
There’s a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology doing the rounds which claims that men are much more likely to fall in love with women who make them feel like a hero.
People are calling it the ‘hero instinct’.
The simple truth is that men have a biological urge to provide for and protect women. It’s hardwired into them.
By making your guy feel like a hero, it unleashes his protective instincts and the most noble aspect of his masculinity. Most importantly, it will unleash his deepest feelings of attraction.
And the kicker?
A man won’t fall for a woman when this thirst isn’t satisfied.
I know it sounds kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protector.
The hero instinct is a legitimate concept in relationship psychology that I personally believe has a lot of truth to it.
And there’s an art to making a man feel like a hero.
You certainly don’t need to engineer a scenario where he has to save kids from a burning house or a little old lady from getting hit by a car.
He wants to be your hero, not an action hero.
But there are phrases you can say, texts you can send, and little requests you can use to trigger his hero instinct.
To learn more about these emotional trigger points, check out this free online video by James Bauer. He is an experienced relationship psychologist who first introduced the hero instinct concept.
Some ideas really are life-changing. And for romantic relationships, I believe this is one of them. Here’s a link to the video again.
3. He’s reaching out to you more than you reach out to him.
Sure, friends talk a lot but if he’s looking for something more, he’s going to be blowing up your phone or sending you DMs on the regular.
He likes all your social media posts and takes time to comment on everything you share.
He could just be a supportive friend, but your other guy friends aren’t going out of their way to show your feed some love.
You never have to worry about whether or not you’ll hear from him because you’re his first text of the day and his last text of the day.
He’s not just checking in to see how things are going, he’s letting you know he wants to be a bigger part of your life.
4. He’s showing you more attention than others
You might feel like there are a million women he could be talking to and spending time with, but to him, you’re one in a million and that’s not something you find every day.
Even as friends, he respects you and treats you with the highest attention and kindness you’ve ever experienced.
Despite the twenty other beautiful women in the room, he’s locked onto you and giving you all of his time.
He wants to talk to you and nobody else.
While that might feel overwhelming to some girls, you love it and you know it means he’s really into you.
And while he’s very kind to other people, there’s something about the way he talks to you and pines after you like he wants to take care of you that makes this potential love story stand out.
He’s got time for lots of things, but he chooses to spend most of it with you.
5. He’s hinting at alone time.
Whether you hang out in groups of three or twelve, this guy can’t get enough alone time with you and is often asking you to step away from the crowd to talk in private.
He wants you all to himself and while he might be too shy or scared to make the first move, he knows that if he doesn’t go out of his way to get and hold your attention, he’s going to lose you to another man.
He asks you to hang out, even without the usual crew, invites you to dinner – as friends, of course, and even offers to come to hang out at your place once in a while.
He can’t be any more clear about his intentions, even if he doesn’t realize it yet.
Not only that, but when you’re out in a group of people, he always manages to be sitting next to you all the time.
Whether you’re at a ball game, pizza shop or bar, he’s got his leg pressed up against yours under the table and is leaning into you in all the right ways.
6. What would Sigmund Freud say?
To work out whether a guy likes you as more than a friend or is just playing games, you need real and honest advice.
Having studied relationships and psychology most of my adult life, I know a thing or two about it.
But why not turn to the most famous psychologist of all?
Yes, Dr. Sigmund Freud can tell you whether he likes you or not.
Simply take this brilliant quiz from my friends at Ideapod. Answer a few personal questions and Freud himself will dredge through all the subconscious issues motivating your man to give you the most accurate (and downright fun) answer of all.
Sigmund Freud was the grand master at understanding sex and attraction. This quiz is the next best thing to setting down one-on-one with the famous psychoanalyst.
I took it myself a few weeks ago and was amazed at the unique insights I received.
7. He’s acting nervous and weird.
If the guy you know and love as a friend is suddenly acting very strange and seems to be nervous around you, there’s a good chance it’s because he’s into you.
He might not even realize what is going on and might feel really frustrated or annoyed by his own behavior, but rest assured:
If he’s gone from calm, cool, and collected to dorky, daunting, and dumb, he’s trying to figure out how to tell you he likes you more than a friend…for sure.
You can always tell when a guy likes you because he can’t make eye contact, kicks rocks around on the ground like a 12-year-old boy, and has his hands shoved in his pockets like he’s hiding his sweaty palms.
If you make him nervous, there’s a good reason for that.
This is also the case if you notice that he trips on his words around you.
Talk about tongue-tied. It’s starting to get embarrassing the way he’s trying to talk to you or about you to other people.
He just can’t focus when you’re around.
8. He reaches out to you.
You hear from him at all hours of the day and not just to chat: he wants to tell you important things about himself too.
He asks questions and shares big news with you before anyone else.
When something good happens, you’re the person he tells first. That’s love.
9. He only has eyes for you.
Sure, other women might hit on him or ask him out, but he’s not interested.
A good-looking guy with a kind heart like that?
If he’s not gay, it’s gotta be because he’s waiting to find the courage to tell you how he feels.
He can’t give away a heart that is owned by someone else.
10. He begs for some quality one-on-one time.
Saturday night movies and popcorn, Friday afternoon stroll in the park, weekend camping: you name it and this guy is asking you to do it.
He wants you riding shotgun for all his adventures and likes to take you out to try new things.
11. He tells you he loves you…in a friendly way.
He might come up behind you and give you a big hug and tell you how much he cares in a nonchalant way, but believe him when he says he loves you.
He might not realize how much, but love is love and if you’re into him as much as you hope he’s into you, take those words and run with them.
You never know where those words might lead the two of you.
12. He gets jealous when you talk to other guys
Jealousy is a strong emotion, and it’s tough to control.
If you’re talking to other guys, he might start looking over wondering what’s going on. A guy that isn’t interested in you wouldn’t bother looking when you’re talking to other guys.
The next time you speak to him, he may appear angry or disgruntled. This is a clear sign that he’s jealous.
And don’t worry, as soon as you signal your interest with a nice, beautiful smile, I’m sure he’ll come around again.
For some guys, making them jealous may actually motivate them to take action. They might think they’re losing their shot with you, and they’ll make a last ditch effort to win your love.
Use this with caution, however. You don’t want to upset the guy and force him to look elsewhere!
13. He never looks scruffy when he is around you
If he likes you more than a friend, then he’ll want to impress you with every chance they get.
You know what this means, right?
He won’t rock up when he meets you looking scruffy!
This is especially the case if you notice he started dressing better since he started getting to know you.
That’s what guys do.
They don’t typically care how they look when they’ve got no females to impress, but as soon as they’re crushing on someone, BAM! They’ve got a haircut and they’re wearing a whole new wardrobe.
Keep an nose out for how he smells. If he is wearing nice smelling cologne, you can bet your bottom dollar he’s into you more than a friend.
14. It’s like he’s reading your mind.
Talk about finishing each other’s sentences: this guy could stand-in for you at a family function and tell all your stories.
It’s like he’s inside your head and knows what you’re thinking when you’re thinking it.
15. His body language is picking up what you’re putting down.
Body language is probably the most important indicator to figure out if he likes you more than a friend.
Because most of us don’t typically notice what our body is doing. It’s completely reliant on our subconscious.
One of the biggest body language signs to look out for is if his body is facing towards you.
This means that his attention is really on you, and he cares about what you’re thinking.
On the other hand, if his body never really facing yours, then it might be a sign that he doesn’t really have feelings for you.
Does he smile at you and gesture at you? It could be the real thing.
If you are standing near a guy and he is interested, he’ll lean into you, want to be near you, and make eye contact on the regular to try to let you know he is interested.
He could also just come right out and say it, but you might need to wait some time for that.
So stick with deciphering body language and some of these other tricks to tell if this guy likes you more than a friend.
Another body language sign to look for is how nervous he is around you. We all know that we tend to get nervous around our object of affection.
If you notice that he is fidgety, or he is talking fast, then it might be the case that he is nervous because he wants to impress you.
You can work this out by seeing how he acts around other females.
If he is usually relaxed and calm with others, but is a bit hyper, fidgety, and talking fast around you, then it’s probably because he likes you romantically.
Also, look out for what he is doing with his lips. He may lick his lips or part his lips when he is looking at you.
He won’t notice he is doing this, but subconsciously it shows that he is trying to sexually excite you.
16. He starts calling you sweetie or hun.
Without even realizing it or skipping a beat, he starts calling you by pet names. He just can’t help it.
He’s trying to show you how he feels without coming out and saying it.
17. He gets jealous of other guys.
Even though you’re just friends, he doesn’t like the idea of you dating other people.
He doesn’t realize it yet, but it’s because he wants you all to himself.
18. You catch him starring at you.
During the most unexpected times, you’ll look up and he’ll be glaring a hole right through you.
It might catch you off guard the first few times, but he’s just mesmerized by your beauty and awesomeness.
You might think what you had for dinner three weeks ago this Thursday wasn’t important but if you mentioned it to him, he’ll remember.
That one time you had a bad stomach ache from the sketchy tacos? He remembers.
19. He texts you every morning and connects on social media.
He just can’t start his day until he’s had a little chat with you.
Whether he hits up online or sends you a text, you’re the first person he talks to and starts his day with and you’re often the last person he talks to before going to bed.
Not only is he texting you constantly, but he is paying extra attention to you on social media as well.
He likes your posts, comments on them often, and he might even mention things about your social profiles when you see each other in real life.
This is actually a big sign that he likes you more than a friend.
Because when we are on social media, we can literally do whatever we want to do.
We can chat to whoever we like and use whatever app we want, so if he is using that time to spend on you, then that’s a great sign that he likes you more than a friend.
It shows where his mind is at.
He enjos thinkng about you, and connecting with you in anyway he can.
20. He invites you places as his plus one.
Just because you’re friends doesn’t mean you can’t attend functions together, right?
He thinks so and has been inviting you to family and friend weddings for a while.
People already think you’re a couple because you’ve shown up on his arm so many times.
21. He likes to touch you
If you reach out to grab his hand or playfully touch his shoulder, does he recoil or pull away? It might be that he is nervous, but it could also be that he isn’t interested in you.
Don’t fret. You can rely on other body language and the way he treats you to determine if he likes you.
Some guys who are interested will try to touch you for any reason, such as hugging you when they meet you.
Not in a creepy way. But for him, you guys feel so comfortable togeter that he gets a great thrill from any touch he has with you.
This can involve things like touching your hand when you tell a funny joke or putting their arm around you like you’re their little sister.
Now don’t use touching as the be-all and end-all here. Shy guys can be difficult to read in this situation, and when you touch them, they may appear startled and unsure of how to respond.
That’s okay. Watch how they react after that incident to truly gauge their interest. Don’t rely on how he responds to touch alone.
But usually, when you two people are comfortable touching and getting close together, there is usually significant rapport and chemistry.
The truth is, when a man likes you, he can’t help but be physically drawn to you.
Also, he may be trying to gauge your interest by seeing how you respond to touch. If you don’t recoil and seem genuinely happy when he touches you, then he might make a move soon.
22. You’re the person he calls when he needs to talk.
If he’s having a bad day, he tells you that you make things better.
Even if you’re just there, hanging out, he feels like things are better when you’re around.
He respects your opinion and he is always seeking your advice and confiding in you when he needs to.
But you know what?
A problem that he never talks about with you is other girls.
I mean, this is straight forward, a person that just wants to be friends with you will talk about other girls with you because they don’t see you as a romantic interest.
But if he just isn’t willing to share anything about his romantic love life, then you know there’s a good reason for that.
He just doesn’t want to jeoperdize his chances with you by making you think he’s unavailable.
And if he does like you, and he is talking about other girls, then the only explanation is that he is trying to make you jealous.
But to be honest, this is a pretty immature move, so if that’s the case then he may not be the right guy for you.
23. You’re the first person he calls or texts when something good happens.
If he gets a promotion or had a great day at work, he texts you to tell you before anyone else…even his mom! That’s huge.
He enjoys telling you good news and he wants to see your reaction when you tell him.
You generally don’t single out a friend when you want to share good news. It’s only reserved for the special people in your life.
So if your guy friend is reserving big news to tell you, and only you, then you know that there could be more to it.
24. He has changed his life since meeting you.
You’ve noticed he’s become a different person since you started hanging out.
Lots of things could contribute to such a change, but more likely it’s that he wants to be a better version of himself so you’ll notice him and stop dating those other guys he doesn’t really approve of anyway.
Ain’t love funny?
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