If you’ve ever found yourself feeling red in the face, making eye contact over and over again, and feeling your knees get weak whenever someone special walks by, it’s high time you pay attention to whether there is actually any sexual tension between the two of you or not.
Nothing stings more than finding out your crush doesn’t have reciprocating feelings. Before you put yourself out on a limb, consider that there are ways to tell if what’s going on between you is sexual or not.
Here are 20 ways to tell if there is any sexual tension between you and the object of your affection.
After that, we also go over five early signs of great sexual chemistry (which is different from sexual tension).
1) You keep making eye contact
There’s no doubt that the chemistry between you is on fire if you constantly find yourselves locking eyes. You might be doing it on purpose and not even realize it.
You’ll find yourself at a party, and your eye will keep wanting to go to where that person is in the room. It might feel awkward, and you might even laugh about it, but it’s a sure sign that your brain is trying to tell you something about this person. Pay attention.
2) You stare
While looking at someone by chance is one thing; staring at them is quite another. You might be talking to a friend and notice that someone is staring at you!
That might feel weird, but if you return the glance, it could be magical. And it can go the other way: you might be staring at someone, and they catch you!
3) Conversations feel awkward
If you like someone, you might find yourself lost for words, saying bizarre things, and stumbling over your thoughts.
Remember when George took out Marisa Tomei on the American show, Seinfeld? He talked about Manure!
Yeah, it’s kind of like that. Don’t talk about crap on your dates or any interactions leading up to dates! You might find yourself saying all kinds of things that don’t sound like you.
4) You might as well be in high school all over again
When you feel like there might be some sexual attraction amongst you and another person, you’ll be doing everything you can to get in front of them.
Remember in high school when you would make the second round trip around the halls just to walk by their locker?
Now you are buying coffee in new places, taking lunch across town, and going to parties where they might be.
5) You find yourself distracted by them
Regardless of what you do, you’ll find yourself thinking about this person and losing time. You’ll be watching television, and when the characters kiss, you’ll be wishing it was you.
You’ll be bringing them into conversations that have nothing to do with them. It’s all part of the tension that exists between you. Maybe it’s time to do something about it?
6) You daydream about them
It’s hard to keep our brain focused on a good day, but a day when we suddenly realize we might be attracted to someone – it’s even harder!
You’ll be sitting at work thinking about dates, kissing, and more. Don’t worry though – it’ perfectly normal and fun! Just don’t get too caught up in daydreaming instead of making the real thing happen.
7) You just keep wishing they would kiss you
When you are together, you want nothing more than for them to make the first move or to ask you out on a first date. Guess what! They are probably thinking the same thing.
That’s the thing about sexual tension: it’s tension because nobody is acting on their feelings!
8) There always feels like there is something unsaid between you
You hang on their every word waiting for a slip-up or sign or confession that they are into you. But you are also doing the same thing to them.
Nobody wants to make the first move. It’s a tricky thing when you are into someone, suspect they might be into you, and then everyone gets weirded out by it all, and nothing happens.
9) You get a strange feeling around them
You might not even have good feelings about them! It could be that they drive you crazy, or you don’t know why but you just don’t like them.
That might be your subconscious telling you one thing and your conscious telling you another. If you love/hate someone, it could be because you actually really like them.
10) Body language is everything
If you fix your hair, if they fix theirs, if they lean in or touch your arm, pay attention to that.
The signs of sexual tension are pretty clear and as old as time itself. If someone likes you, whether they say it or not, they can show you with their body language.
11) You can’t help flirting
You laugh like school girls whenever you are around each other. It’s hard not to want to talk to them, and you end up saying or doing silly things.
You’ll find yourself walking away asking yourself, “what did I just say?” and dying a little because you don’t flirt like that!
12) People comment about how good you would be together
Others notice that you spend time together or comment on how you would be a good couple.
It’s tempting to shout it from the rooftops, but it’s easier just to keep things the same. If you really want them, go for it.
It seems like everyone around you already knows the truth anyway!
13) People are jealous of what you have
If you are already in a relationship and find your significant other being jealous or worried about your behavior or the behavior of your “crush,” it might be a sign that you are, actually into someone.
It could just be crazy talk, but usually, people are a good judge when someone is into you.
14) Increased heart rate and physical sensations
Does your heart rate tick up? Do your hands get sweatier?
According to Dr. Kirk, this is actually the stimulation of adrenaline and norepinephrine:
“This can lead to having a physical sensation of craving and the desire to focus your attention on that specific person.”
What’s more, your pupils dilate when you’re attracted to someone because there’s stimulation in your nervous system sympathetic branch.
15) You can’t stop smiling and laughing
It’s obvious that’s sexual tension is high when you can’t stop smiling. No matter what they say or what they do, your mood is peaking and smiling and laughing occurs naturally.
You’re both excited to be around each other, and the tension is hitting its high point.
16) There’s constant jokes and playful teasing
Are they pulling out some naughty but nice jokes around you? Are they playfully teasing you?
When someone is sexually attracted to you, they can’t help but bring out that playful vibe, especially if they’re a man.
It’s natural, it’s fun, and it increases the sexual tension.
If you can’t help laughing at their jokes (even if they’re horrible), then the sexual tension is high.
17) You can’t help but feel horny
This one obviously makes sense. If they’re making you feel sexual and getting your naughty areas tingling, then there’s a lot of sexual tension.
You might also experience a dream or two about sleeping with them, because even if it’s not obvious to you, your subconscious has a mind of its own.
18) You’re attracted to each other like a magnet
You always end up near each other, even when you don’t mean to.
Even when you’re in a large group, you’re sitting next to each other. Sexual tension acts as a sort of magnet that you’re both powerless to defend against.
In the end, we love being around people that make us laugh and feel good.
19) There’s a change in tone of voice
This is an interesting one that can be easy to miss.
When sexual attraction is in the air, people tend to naturally change their voice tone. A women’s tone becomes softer and gentler and a man’s becomes deeper and richer.
20) You respond to touch by getting closer
If you reach out to grab his/her hand, do they pull away or get closer?
If they get closer, then they’re probably sexually attracted to you.
It’s not intentional, but subconsciously they’ll want to be closer to you, which will trigger their behavior.
You can also see if you do the same. If you find they touch and then you’re following them like a magnet, then there’s definitely sexual tension in the air.
[To learn how to create a successful, long-lasting relationship, check out our best-selling eBook unpacking essential dating tips here].
Is it sexual chemistry? 5 signs to look out for
Just because you’re experiencing sexual tension doesn’t mean there’s also sexual chemistry.
It’s a mistake that many people make and while the draws of attraction are strong, they are not enough to help a relationship last.
You need to be able to determine ahead of time if this person is worth pursuing or not, because let’s face it, you’ve only got so much precious time to give away to other people and you want to make the most of that time, don’t you? Sure, you do.
So we put together some tips to help you determine if you’ll have good sexual chemistry with someone you are crushing on.
There are lots of nice people in the world, but you don’t want to date all of them. Here’s how you can tell which ones are worth your time and effort.
1) It Doesn’t Feel Forced
One of the hardest parts of starting any relationship is the pressure to get it right. People get tongue-tied and trip on their words, they try really hard, and end up making fools of themselves half the time.
But when you have good chemistry, you don’t have to try so hard. Things flow naturally and conversation is easy.
You feel comfortable to talk to the person and you like talking to them. One key sign that you’ll have good chemistry with someone is when you feel good about yourself talking to them.
If someone can make you feel good in a conversation, there’s a good chance you’ll have a strong bond and good chemistry.
2) You Feel Drawn to Them
And vice versa. If you find yourself closer to someone than you expected or are suddenly surprised by the proximity of your crush, rest easy.
This means that you have good chemistry. Your bodies literally bring you together because they want to be together.
Our brains are often slow to catch up with what our bodies are doing and that’s why you could be surprised by the kind of people you are attracted to. The body knows what it wants.
Don’t ignore the signs and see where the chemistry leads. Getting close and feeling comfortable is a great way to tell if there will be good chemistry between the two of you.
3) You Sustain Eye Contact
If you can look into each other eyes and it doesn’t get weird, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ll spark good chemistry together.
Eye contact is one of the hardest things for people to not only initiate, but maintain. It’s difficult because it’s so personal and you feel exposed more than you’ll ever feel exposed.
The idea that someone can see you for all you are and you cannot hide is intimidating for a lot of people.
If you can lock gazes and not rush to look away, your sexual chemistry is probably aligned and you’ll be a good fit for one another.
4) You Move in Sync
While you might not always move at the same time or make the same movements, you seem to flow to and from one another. It’s natural and doesn’t feel awkward.
It’s like a dance, but there’s no dance floor in sight. When you have good chemistry with someone, you move to each other’s rhythms and you respect the space and timing without each realizing it.
It’s beautiful to see how couples come and go together without having to force the interaction.
If you are wondering if you’d have good chemistry with someone, get close to them and see how your bodies flow together.
5) Your Instincts Guide You
If you feel drawn to someone and you don’t know why, it’s probably because you’ll have good chemistry together.
You don’t have to think about what to say or how to move, your body and mind just seem to click and you go together instinctively.
You want to send them a message because you can’t help thinking about them.
You get it and you get each other. If you get the urge to steal a kiss, you should go with it. Our bodies don’t lie.
We can’t always know where it’s coming from, but we can always do something about those thoughts and feelings.
Give yourself a chance to find out if you and your crush will have good chemistry before you ever strike up a relationship.
Not only is it good research, but it’s also mighty fun to see how you interact with someone you are attracted to.
Attraction is great, but it’s not everything.
What matters more is that you can ebb and flow with another person in a way that is meaningful for you both. When it works, it just works. There’s no effort required.
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