Clifton Kopp
Sometimes, we get so caught up in our relationships that we begin to lose clarity.
When we’re deep into a relationship, our emotions and feelings can overwhelm everything else.
Hardly a surprise… love can be intoxicating.
If you’re not careful, you risk getting swept away by it all, ultimately putting yourself in a vulnerable position.
Before you know it, you’ve compromised your integrity as a person just to try to make things work.
This shouldn’t be. Relationship or not, as long as you’re alive, you have to celebrate and own your existence as an individual.
But I know… easier said than done.
In this article, I’ll walk you through the sacrifices you should never make in a relationship, even if you’re in love.
Let’s get to it!
1) You should never sacrifice your self-respect
Love and attachment are very powerful feelings… addictive even.
Left unchecked, these emotions can be the predominant theme of our days, as everything else takes a backseat.
Many people don’t want anything to get in the way of their relationship harmony, so they’re willing (unconsciously or not) to sacrifice their self-respect.
Maybe they’ll allow their partner to walk all over them, undermining their self-worth.
Maybe they’ll excessively apologize and go to great lengths just to keep the peace, even when they’re not at fault.
The bottom line is that a healthy relationship should always enhance your self-esteem, not diminish it.
Establish and maintain boundaries. Always maintain your self-respect.
Don’t settle for anything less.
2) You should never sacrifice your core values
When I was younger, I briefly dated a deeply religious girl.
I was not deeply religious. I was not spiritual.
In fact, I didn’t identify with any religion… and even had some strong anti-religious views at the time.
But still, I went along with her pious ways as a means of advancing my cause with her.
I attended church with her and her family, feigning interest, even though I knew very well it wasn’t for me.
Needless to say, things with her didn’t last particularly long.
Call me a cynic, but sometimes, when you and your partner’s core beliefs and ideologies are too different and neither of you is willing to budge, you should just cut your losses and move on.
Compromising fundamental beliefs or values can lead to resentment in the long run.
If your partner accepts you for your differences, great. If not, then move on to the next.
Your unique identity should be embraced in a relationship. And vice versa.
Stay true to yourself and the rest will follow.
3) You should never sacrifice your personal happiness
In theory, we enter or pursue relationships because they’re supposed to make us happier.
After all, your level of happiness and contentment are critical for a good life.
So when you find your relationship is making you feel unhappy or stressed far more than anything, it’s time to seriously reassess and re-evaluate things.
As established, when we get too deep into things, we can lose objectivity.
We can lose sight of our true feelings and needs.
Don’t let it get this far.
Once you start feeling unhappy for prolonged periods, start addressing these feelings constructively, instead of passively letting them be.
Toxic relationships can take a toll on your well-being. You’re better than that.
4) You should never sacrifice your dreams and goals
You’ve seen it in films, on TV, with friends and relatives: people who have sacrificed their ambitions and dreams in life to settle down in a relationship… only to regret it later.
Relationships are great when both partners encourage one another to pursue what respectively makes them happy.
Relationships are great when they encourage you to claim your individuality and identity.
But when your goals in life begin to fade because of relationship obligations, or worse, an unsupportive partner, something needs to change.
Never discount your dreams. Never downplay your value as a human being.
When you do so for a relationship, this simply isn’t sustainable, and not fair to you.
Expect resentment and regret to build down the line.
A relationship should always encourage growth, not stifle it.
5) You should never sacrifice your relationships with family and friends
Have you ever watched a true crime documentary about cults?
Well if you have, you’d probably have noticed how cult members tend to suddenly break ties with their family and friends.
They become so brainwashed and emotionally caught up, that they somehow turn against their loved ones.
A similarly manipulative pattern can be observed in relationships.
You see, your mind can play tricks on you, particularly when there are intense emotions involved.
Before you know it, you could be isolating yourself from your loved ones, as you become hyperfocused and preoccupied with maintaining the status of your relationship.
If this sounds familiar, take a step back and try to see things how they truly are.
Your family and friends are a part of your identity, so never neglect those bonds.
Any partner worth entertaining will be accepting of your other relationships rather than feel jealous or threatened.
So if the latter is the case, consider that a major red flag.
6) You should never sacrifice your financial independence
I have a friend who was raised with very little discipline, particularly when it came to money.
I feel for the guy; in many ways, he’s handicapped to deal with the reality of the world and is often left behind.
He has been with the same woman for the last decade or so.
He’ll frequently call and text me venting about how unhappy and unsatisfied he is.
He’ll vent about how his partner can be so mean and abusive towards him, about how he will break up with her sooner or later.
But he never follows through.
Why? Because his partner and her family are, in many ways, his sources of income.
They’ve bought them their cars, their home, and vacations overseas.
Understandably, he can’t get himself to leave her despite his unhappiness.
He has to maintain the toxic status quo because he’s largely financially dependent on her and has minimal leverage.
Nobody wants to be in that position. Nobody wants to feel like they’re trapped or held hostage in a relationship for monetary reasons.
After a certain age, you should never be dependent on anyone else. Maintaining your financial freedom is always crucial.
Final words
At the end of the day, you have to keep looking after yourself and your well-being as best you can, whether you’re in a relationship or not.
Own your independence. Own your value as a living, breathing, autonomous human being.
Once you get there, there will be no stopping you. You got this.
