Paul Brian
What does it mean to be an above average man?
Most of all, it means you lead a life that’s out of the ordinary and set to a higher standard.
Here are the rules that sophisticated men live by to maximize their success and fulfillment.
1. He is well-groomed and smells pleasant
Another of the rules sophisticated men live by to elevate their life is to stay well-groomed and fragrant.
It’s easy to overlook combing your hair, putting on deodorant, shaving, or styling facial hair.
But the sophisticated man takes the extra few minutes to get these tasks done. He sprays on a little cologne (not too much) and he styles his hair or his shaved head in a way that’s pleasing to him.
The reason why isn’t just for the convenience and enjoyment of other people…
It’s also for his own respect for himself!
He knows other people don’t want to be around a smelly guy with dandruff flaking off his scalp and old clothes that look like they were dug up from a time vault…
And neither does he!
After all, think about it:
The person we end up spending the most time next to our life is…ourselves!
2. He dresses the part, even in casual situations
Sophisticated men do care about style, but they dress in the way that’s pleasing to them.
It’s not about the approval or applause of the external world, potential mates or their colleagues and friends.
They develop a personal style that’s all their own and stick to it.
They wear clothes, shoes, watches and sunglasses that they like, not that somebody else likes, and they’d rather spend a bit more on an item they truly love than less on five items they are on the fence about.
They dress the part even in casual situations, which means that even if it’s just going to the gym or for a jog they wear comfortable clothes that look good on them.
Sophistication doesn’t necessarily take a lot of money, just an eye for detail, buying clothes that really fit and wearing and using accessories that make you feel at home in your own skin and confident as a man.
3. He doesn’t hide behind his phone
Our smartphones are useful tools and powerful communication devices.
We can share our lives with the world from them and link up with all sorts of new people and experiences.
But phones can also be an escape valve for those who are anti-social, scared or insecure.
The sophisticated man never hides behind his phone and he does not disrespect anyone with it.
If he’s talking to someone, he’s talking to them, not darting his eyes back and forth to his iPhone like a goldfish having a stroke.
If he’s out on a date he’s out on a damn date. His phone is stowed in his pocket or carry bag and it’s on silent or vibrate and will not be checked barring some kind of unforeseen emergency.
4. He eats and sleeps in a way that maximizes his well-being
Another of the rules sophisticated men live by to elevate their life is to look after their body and mind.
The best way to do this that is within everyone’s control to some extent is diet and sleep.
When at all possible, the sophisticated man treats his body and mind with respect and care.
He gives it the nutrients it needs and gives his mind the rest it needs.
It’s a simple formula, but it works remarkably well.
As Joshua Sigafus explains:
“Cut out sugar. Eat raw foods that’ll nourish your body.
Fuel your body for performance, and you’ll start feeling and performing better.”
5. He sticks to his boundaries and only responds to respect
Another of the crucial rules sophisticated men live by to elevate their life is to stick to their boundaries.
The sophisticated and respect worthy man has one set of rules:
For his wife, his business colleagues, his family, his friends or a stranger on the street.
If you talk to him rudely he’s not going to take it and he’s going to confront you or ultimately cut ties.
If you treat him well, he’ll treat you well.
He sticks to his boundaries and makes them clear to all involved. That’s appreciated and leads to more respect in turn.
6. He chooses quality over quantity in his friend circle and relationships
The sophisticated man isn’t competing with anyone but himself.
He doesn’t care who has a hotter girlfriend or wife, who has smarter or richer friends or who is more popular.
He cares whether his romantic partner, friends and those in his inner circle are people he cares about.
If they are, his loyalty is strong and steady.
He’d much rather have a friend circle that’s small and has a few true friends than a large circle of fairweather friends or trendy folks to hang out with from time to time.
When it comes to romance he’s not interested in playing the field, he’d rather take it slow and meet someone he actually likes.
7. He connects with others who also want to elevate their lives
The sophisticated man knows that no man is an island, and he puts that principle to good use.
He partners up, befriends, and works with anyone else who shares his goals or wants to also elevate their lives.
A rising tide floats all boats, and he tries his best to be part of an upward movement and partner with folks who also have big dreams.
He isn’t interested in pretentious people, not at all.
But people who really want to maximize their lives and become something remarkable?
He’s right on board, and maybe even steering the ship.
8. He destroys his inner people pleaser
I’ve emphasized treating others with respect and how that is a hallmark of being a sophisticated man. That’s absolutely true.
But a sophisticated man is never a people pleaser.
He gives respect, but he never gives submission or dotes on others and chases their approval and attention.
This kind of sycophantic behavior is pure anathema to the sophisticated man.
He isn’t living his life in order to be popular to other people.
He’s polite, courteous and honest, but he’s never bowing and scraping to fit the mold that somebody else thinks he should.
He’d rather lose a job, a relationship or a close friendship than bow and scrape on his knees to get someone’s attention or approval back.
The sophisticated man has standards, and they don’t change with the wind.
Meet him at his level or get lost. Simple.
9. He’s knowledgeable and reads and learns all the time
The sophisticated man is somebody who likes to learn.
Whether that’s from conversation, reading, walking around or watching documentaries, he’s all eyes and ears.
He wants to know more and he’s curious about the world and other people.
He tends to become a man who knows a little bit about a lot, because he finds so many things in this life fascinating.
This sets him apart and gives him a level of sophistication and impressiveness that may be lacking in most people.
Even the most mundane thing may strike him as quite fascinating, and he’s always searching for the links between different things.
For example, he may ask a local farmer about his dairy operations and then note the price of milk at the grocery store. Then he may reflect about what this says regarding the market and his next investment decision…
Many things are linked!
10. He matches analysis with action
The sophisticated man likes to decide on the best course of action and be smart in his choices.
But he never gets stuck in his head or swimming around in loops in a theoretical worry world.
Real Men, Real Style talks about this in the video below.
The sophisticated man accepts and even embraces his locus of control.
Then he focuses on action that is aimed toward his mission and discards too much analysis, opinion and over-worrying.
He analyzes a situation or choice to know what to do, but then he puts that into action instead of endlessly running scenarios through his head.
Something will go wrong, for sure. It always does. But that’s how you learn and refine the process.
He knows when to follow the rules – and when to break them
The sophisticated man knows when to follow the rules and when to break them.
Ideally, he may be the one making the rules.
He understands that the test of a real rule is that it can’t be broken: after all, you can’t really break the law of gravity, you can only break yourself on that law by jumping off a high distance or thinking it doesn’t apply to you.
But other things like how you respond to failure or what you choose to do with your time?
Those are rules the sophisticated man makes up his own mind about.
Sophisticated solutions
The sophisticated man is ultimately interested in simplicity and in getting down to the essence of what matters and makes life worthwhile.
Sophistication is about living life at a high standard with quality and care while also surrounding yourself with people, places and experiences that connect with you and are meaningful.
