12 rules smart women follow to elevate their life

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There are women who seem much smarter and wiser than the rest of us, and it’s easy to think that they’re born that way.

But no—intelligent women like them are not born, but made, and it’s quite possible for you to be like them, too.

If you want to be a much wiser woman, read up.

Here are 12 of the rules most intelligent women live by to elevate their life.

1. “I shall not play the role of the victim”

Life isn’t easy, and all of us will become victims of circumstances beyond our control at one time or another.

But you know what never crosses an intelligent woman’s mind?

That she’ll let herself stay a victim.

She might feel the same anger, sadness, and pain as the rest of us. But as tempting as it may be, she does not wallow in self-pity. She knows that it would just be a waste of time and would do nothing to elevate her life.

So even when she is forced on her knees she refuses to stay down, she picks herself up and keeps on fighting.

2. “I shall choose my friends wisely”

An intelligent woman knows that the people she surrounds herself with will impact her quality of life.

The thing is that there are some people who are best left off as mere acquaintances. Sometimes it’s because of a conflict in values or personality, sometimes it’s because the other person isn’t trustworthy.

This doesn’t mean she’d snub people who don’t meet her standards. Rather, she simply knows who is or isn’t good for her mental health, and manages her friendships carefully.

Sometimes she’ll even have to concede that, while someone would be a good friend, she simply doesn’t have the energy and attention to befriend them. 

3. “I shall have my finances in order”

An intelligent woman knows that money isn’t everything, so she knows better than to chase after get-rich-quick schemes or to sacrifice her values for the sake of a little extra money.

But she also knows better than to disregard it entirely. We all need to have money in the bank to keep living comfortably and with dignity after all.

The last thing she wants is to be reduced to someone who has to depend on someone else—be it friends, family, or even her partner—to stay afloat.

So she makes sure she has her financial security all sorted out, from setting her budget to having enough in her bank to keep her alive should she get fired from her job. 

4. “I shall keep showing up”

An intelligent woman knows that 90% of success is in showing up. So it doesn’t matter how hard life gets for her—she might have just broken up, or is running on two hours of sleep—she’ll be there.

She pulls herself together and does what needs to be done.

And it doesn’t matter if her efforts had failed countless times before and had failed to bear fruit. She will still keep showing up knowing that one day things will eventually fall into place.

She doesn’t do so blindly, of course. Madness is when you do the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome… and no, she isn’t mad. She learns from her mistakes and always does things slightly differently each time.

5. “I shall build up my strengths and make up for my flaws”

The thing with intelligence is that the more of it you have, the more you are aware of your own imperfection.

But instead of beating herself up because she’s “too flawed” or is “not good enough” at something, she instead tries to see what she can do about it.

If she knows that her greatest weakness is her horrible memory, for example, then she’d make it a habit to make use of note-taking apps and maybe even carry a journal around with her.

And if she knows that she’s good at art, then she’d put time and effort into creative tools to nurture her talents.

An intelligent woman knows that she isn’t perfect and not only lives with that knowledge, but also owns it and takes accountability for it.

6. “I shall make time for rest”

We are only human, and our bodies and minds have their limits. An intelligent woman knows this.

She might push hard for her goals, sure, but she knows that her body isn’t a machine so she doesn’t treat it like one.

And unlike a machine, which can be easily fixed or replaced if it breaks, if something goes wrong with either her body or her mind she’d be in deep trouble.

So if she needs rest, she takes it. She doesn’t feel pressured to go out if she knows she’s tired, and spends the day resting instead of partying if she knows she needs the energy for tomorrow.

7. “I shall say NO without feeling bad about it”

People like to see women as ever-giving nurturers and act like they always have some energy or time to spare. So when she says “no”, others would take it to mean “I need more convincing” instead of well, no.

A wise woman is one who is aware of this, and has long since learned to be assertive. When she says no, she means it, and isn’t afraid to cut off people who harass her in hopes of convincing her otherwise.

This doesn’t mean that she’s rude or a killjoy—she tries to be nice about it—though it’s inevitable that people will surely call her one for standing her ground.

But that doesn’t faze her, because she knows that they’re only saying it because they’re upset that they can’t control her.

8. “I shall go relentlessly in the direction of my dreams”

An intelligent woman respects her dreams, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s something as grand as starting a Fortune 500 company or as simple as making drawings daily.

Other people might say “This is a waste of time! Your husband already makes enough money for you!” or “you’re not the next Frida Kahlo, might as well stick to your job” but she doesn’t let such discouragements weigh her down.

She knows the kind of life she wants and works hard to achieve it, one way or another.

9. “When it comes to relationships, I shall use both my brain and my heart”

There’s this preconception that women are slaves to their emotions by nature—that they listen to their hearts instead of their minds.

This is all mainly rubbish, of course. Women are well able to reason, and the intelligent woman proves the stereotype wrong… especially in love.

She knows that love alone is not enough to make a relationship work. There also needs to be compatibility, shared values, good timing, and many other factors to consider.

And if she sees that a relationship just wouldn’t work out, she will set aside her feelings and stay away. She knows it would just be a waste of time at best, and a painful experience at worst.

10. “I shall protect my reputation”

An intelligent woman knows that caring too much about her reputation will not only stress her out, but also make her look insincere and suspicious.

But on the other hand, she knows she’ll be ruined if she doesn’t care at all—a bad reputation can absolutely ruin her chances of achieving her goals.

There’s a fine line between caring too much about one’s reputation, and not caring enough. She knows where that line lies, and sticks to it.

She does what she can to make sure her reputation is clean—like not doing anything illegal or untrustworthy, for example—while acknowledging that there are just some things that are out of her control.

11. “I shall keep learning”

The mind is like a muscle—if you use it a lot, then it will stay strong and healthy. Use it too little, and it will waste away.

And if you haven’t guessed it yet, the intelligent woman is the way she is because she keeps her mind engaged.

She stays open to new ideas and is always eager to learn—and not just about, say, skills or trivia that you can find in any old encyclopedia, but also things like others’ perspectives and opinions.

If there is an opportunity for her to learn, she takes it. 

She would travel the world if she could, just to pick up on new things. And if she can’t, she makes do with what she can. There’s a lot you can learn from the internet, after all.

And whenever she experiences something new, instead of shying away in fear of the unfamiliar, she instead asks herself “what can I learn from this?”

12. “I shall love myself no matter what”

An intelligent woman loves herself for who she is. She knows that in this life, we’re ultimately alone and that she might as well be her own best friend, instead of an enemy.

She treats herself like a loving mother cares for her child—with affection and tenderness…and of course, a lot of patience.

You might wonder “But how is this wise?”

Well, self-esteem—that is, self-respect and self-love—is actually one of the most important things for one’s well-being. And it’s a must-have recipe for any kind of success—whether personal or professional.

If you love yourself no matter what, you become more courageous. You will get great things because you believe you DESERVE great things.

So while this is probably the softest “rule” here, this is probably the most powerful. I daresay that it is what can truly elevate the life of an intelligent woman.

Last Words 

An intelligent woman is someone who, first and foremost, thinks for herself. 

She isn’t necessarily a contrarian, but she knows which rules to break and which rules to abide in order for her to elevate her life.

If you want to be an intelligent woman yourself, start with these twelve rules (heck, even just half of them!), and you’ll be able to elevate your life to the next level. 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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