Joyce Ann Isidro
There’s nothing more powerful than a confident woman in a male-dominated world.
Statistically, men are shown to overestimate their abilities and performance, while women underestimate both—and if you ask me, it’s time for women to finally reclaim their confidence.
Unlike men, women are not raised to be confident. She’s raised to be quiet and ever-obedient, to wait her turn to speak, to say sorry when a man tells her she’s wrong…and I think it’s high-time for us to do the opposite.
Even if women’s month has just come to a halt, it’s important for every woman to be confident every day, even if it makes other people uncomfortable.
That said, how does a confident woman elevate her life?
Without further ado, let’s discuss the 9 rules that every confident woman follows to elevate her life.
1) Be who you are
In our society, women are shamed for having dreams, interests, and hobbies.
A woman who’s into video games is called a “pick me” and is only doing it for men, because only men are supposed to be gamers.
A woman who likes to sing and play the ukulele is bullied for having a lame hobby, because only guys who play electric guitars are valid and “cool”.
A woman who passionately fights for the rights of women is reduced to a “feminazi,” but a man who does the same is praised for the bare minimum of being an ally.
We’re all basically shamed for who we are, no matter what it means.
This is why a confident woman’s life is drastically elevated through the simple act of being who she is; instead of feeling shame, she shows pride for who she is as a woman, by unabashedly showing the world that this is her, and she’s absolutely not sorry for it.
2) Be unapologetic
As women, we were raised to reduce ourselves to accommodate the discomfort of men. We’re taught to be good girls, to say sorry when we’re told we’re being “too much,” and to apologize when a man tells you you’re too loud, too outspoken, or too bossy.
It’s time for women to stop being apologetic.
To elevate your life as a confident woman, you should stop saying sorry. By remaining apologetic as women, we encourage the world to continue making us smaller and less than men.
So don’t be afraid of taking up space. Be the unabashedly loud, outspoken, opinionated woman in the room. Instead of saying sorry when a man tells you you’re “too much,” say thank you instead, because that means you’re doing a great job.
By taking up space in our male-dominated world, you’re not just elevating your life, but that of other women as well.
3) Take up space
Did you know that the global gender gap remains high at 68.1%?
To put that into perspective, it’s estimated that the global gender gap will close in 132 years—more than a hundred years too long for women to finally be treated equally.
This is why taking up space is one of the best ways a confident woman can elevate her life and that of other women.
When you’re called too much, keep being strong and bold with your ideas and opinions.
When a male coworker interrupts you during a meeting, don’t let them cut you off—instead, tell them you haven’t finished talking yet.
Don’t feel sorry and don’t let yourself believe it’s disrespectful or rude to take up the space you deserve as a hardworking woman.
When we’re too shy or too scared to take up space, we implicitly contribute to our society’s gender gap problem. So take up space unapologetically and show the world just how much you’re worth.
4) Know your worth
A woman who knows her worth is a powerful woman.
This is because when you know your worth, people are less likely to abuse or mistreat you, because they fear your power.
This applies in all aspects of life, which includes social, work, and romantic life, among others.
When you know your worth, you refuse to be mistreated at work, in your friendships, and in your romantic relationships. You leave at the first sight of red flags. You don’t try to see the good in them when it becomes obvious that they’re not good for you.
For a confident woman to elevate her life, she must be brave enough not to tolerate mistreatment; to fight for what she deserves, and to never be afraid to call out the way others have wronged her.
Remember: empowered women empower women. When you fight for your seat at the table as a woman, you’re fighting for other women as well.
5) Put yourself first
A common notion is that it’s selfish to want to take care of yourself, and it’s especially prevalent in women. As women, we were raised to put the needs and interests of our brothers, our male classmates and coworkers over our own.
This is because society puts our worth into being caretakers, into our ability to bear children, to be a mother.
However, while it’s completely valid for women to want the domestic life or to be mothers, it’s just as important to know that you have options outside of this 1950s lifestyle.
And when a woman puts herself first, she elevates her life by refusing the societal pressure to be fitted inside this constricting box of womanhood.
It’s important for her to realize that she has interests and needs that warrant fulfillment outside of taking care of others, and to use these to start working to achieve success.
However, it must be noted that girl boss culture is not an accurate depiction of a successful woman.
6) Don’t get sucked into girl boss culture
Girlboss culture remains omnipresent in society.
At surface value, it looks as if its purpose is to uplift women, but it’s actually the opposite because of how much it perpetuates gender stereotypes.
This is because girl boss culture makes fun of successful women by reducing them into “gaslight, gatekeep, girl bosses.”
Because society is afraid of powerful women, they use girl boss culture to infantilize successful, powerful women into “girls” that they can make fun of.
While some women might find power in identifying as a “girl boss,” when she ends up getting taken as a joke for being strong and independent, girl boss culture defeats its very purpose.
Which is why a confident woman doesn’t let herself get sucked into this culture—instead, she actively fights against it and the disrespect it does to women.
7) Be respectful, but don’t tolerate disrespect
Women are taught from childhood to be respectful and obedient, which makes it ironic with how often we experience disrespect.
It manifests with how often we’re made fun of, how we’re not taken as seriously as men, and how we’re told we “can’t take a joke” when we’re blatantly violated.
But jokes are funny, and no one’s laughing at disrespectful men. This is why a confident woman elevates her life when she stops tolerating disrespect.
Being called names such as “slut” or “whore” for being sex positive is not a funny joke. It’s obviously disrespectful, and a confident woman knows that she should not tolerate this.
Instead of being forced to perceive insults as jokes, a confident woman entertains compliments instead, but without depending on them for validation.
8) Accept compliments, but don’t depend on outside validation
Society likes insecure women, because insecure women can be easily brought down. A confident woman, on the other hand, cannot be.
A confident woman can take compliments graciously—she thanks people when they say
“you’re pretty,” and maybe even say “I know” when she’s called beautiful or smart, but she doesn’t need these compliments to realize on her own that she is, in fact, beautiful and smart.
This is why she doesn’t depend on these compliments to feel validated. She already knows she has all these qualities and doesn’t need others’ opinions to feel good about herself.
Compliments might boost her confidence, but it’s not something she depends on. She can be successful on her own, and all the praise that follows is just a little bonus.
9) Own your successes, but don’t be afraid to fail
Everybody says women should be humble. When a woman brags, she’s too proud and must be put in her place. Women shouldn’t brag about their money when they’re rich, or their achievements when they’re successful.
A man can brag about having hundreds of girlfriends and get praise for it, but if a woman does the same, she’d be a slut.
This is why a confident woman’s life is elevated when she owns up to her successes, especially when she works hard to achieve her goals. A woman deserves to brag just as much as men. It’s time for us to stop underestimating ourselves and start celebrating our achievements.
However, it goes without saying that a confident woman elevates her life not just by celebrating her successes, but also by being unafraid of failure.
Women empowerment puts too much emphasis on being successful, but in order to get there, you will have to fail multiple times. We’re so engrossed with having a good representation of successful women that we forget to uplift the women who fail, which is so important.
It must be common knowledge, however, that in order to succeed, you must let yourself fail multiple times.
This is why women must not be afraid of failure. We must learn that failing doesn’t equate to being a failure. Instead, we must use these failures as stepping stones toward success.
