Dining in lavish restaurants, wearing designer outfits, and walking as if you’re balancing books on your head may seem like conventional tropes of a classy woman, but they aren’t the rules to becoming one.
While these are definitely common habits of classy people, becoming classy is an internal endeavor; more than a lifestyle change, it’s a behavioral change.
To help you, there are a few guidelines that most classy women abide by.
These tend to go unspoken, but observe enough classy women and you’ll find them all following more or less the same guiding principles.
Here are 14 that, if understood and practiced, will build the foundation you need to become a classy woman yourself.
1. Always Be On Time
Punctuality is a crucial element to being classy.
You may rarely, if ever, see a classy woman who consistently runs late, loses track of her own time, or has a disorganized time management system.
When a classy woman sets an appointment with someone or agrees to meet up for a chat over coffee, you can expect her to not only be there on time but even earlier.
Classy women understand the value of time.
Unlike money, you can never earn more time. The clock always ticks.
This is why one of the most insulting things classy women may believe that anyone can do is waste another’s time.
That’s why she’s always conscious about the hours and the minutes of her days.
2. Be the Better Person
Although most classy women try to make peace with everyone she meets, she might eventually meet someone who disagrees with her.
They might call her pretentious or too bossy, criticizing her for her work for no substantial reason.
Anyone else might be so deeply affected by this as to hurl back an insult or two, but not a classy woman.
Classy women try to make it a point to never stoop to the level of someone’s negativity.
Fighting fire with fire might not be very productive when dealing with critics.
Instead, she might calmly disagree with them, or simply let it go.
She knows she’s above the insults, and that the opinions of others don’t harm her character in the slightest.
3. Count on Yourself
Being self-sufficient and independent tends to be a common guiding principle of classy women.
They don’t rely on men to pay for her dinner or even take care of her.
She can stand on her own and take care of herself.
There’s nothing wrong with depending on other people from time to time, however.
Classy women are still people after all, and they have their moments of struggle and hardships.
In those times, she might have to count on her family or closest friends to help her get out of the rut.
It’s just that she understands she’s capable of pushing through it.
4. Know What Men Want
A classy woman brings out the best in her partner.
She doesn’t waste time playing games, indulging in drama, or messing about with the feelings of others.
We all need to live meaningful lives and earn the respect of the people we care about.
That’s what men want from a relationship above all else — respect. More than love and even more than sex.
There’s a new concept in relationship psychology that spells all this out. It’s called the hero instinct.
A classy woman doesn’t need help from a man, but she equally isn’t afraid to let him solve little problems, come to her aid, and prove himself useful. She knows this gives him a sense of meaning and purpose.
To learn more about the hero instinct, check out this quick video by nationally renowned relationship expert James Bauer.
He reveals the things you can say, texts you can send, and little requests you can make to trigger this very natural instinct in your man.
5. Choose Good Friends
A classy woman tends to spend most of her time with others.
Whether she’s attending another event or meeting up with someone for lunch, the company she keeps doesn’t tend to be a coincidence.
She’s deliberate about who she wants to spend her time with.
Multiple studies have shown that one’s friends can affect one’s behavior – for better or for worse.
So she’d rather surround herself with people who are positive, that support her and whom she can support too.
She doesn’t stay with people who are disrespectful to waiters or doormen, or those that talk behind others’ backs.
6. Show Respect Always
Showing respect tends to be the most important rule to follow to becoming classier.
Say she competes in a sporting tournament.
After long rounds of matches, she comes out 2nd place.
While others might feel discouraged and frustrated not only with their performance but with others, a classy woman remains kind and courteous.
Even though the game was so close, she doesn’t get angry with the results.
She knew she tried her best.
Instead of resenting her opponents and ignoring them, she might instead congratulate them on a job well done.
How she reacts in defeat is a show of how classy she truly is.
7. Go for Timeless and Appropriate Styles
Trends are transient, but class can last.
That’s why when it comes to styling herself, a classy woman tends to gravitate towards the more timeless fashion styles.
Instead of wearing the latest shiny piece of jewelry, she might instead invest in genuine pearl earrings that both last as well and never go out of style.
Her outfits are always event appropriate. You’ll never catch her being underdressed.
By going with timeless outfits, she guarantees she’ll always look the part, whether it’s a formal luncheon or a cocktail party.
8. Know your self-worth in relationships
A classy woman knows herself and her worth regardless of who she’s in a relationship with. This helps her deal with heartbreak when it happens, but also limits the amount of crap she’s willing to take from useless partners!
But what if you struggle with your self-worth?
When you’re dealing with insecurity, it’s easy to fall into toxic relationships that break you down instead of supporting you.
I want to suggest doing something different.
It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.
As Rudá explains in this mind-blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way because we’re not taught how to love ourselves first.
So, if you want to increase your self-esteem and worth, I’d recommend starting with yourself first and taking Rudá’s incredible advice.
9. Seek No Validation from Others
Classy women don’t need to impress or please others.
They don’t do things to prove to others she’s smart or talented.
She usually does things to help someone else or provide for the people she cares about.
Seeking validation from others can slowly transform into a dependence for social acceptance.
But classy women are independent and don’t rely on the approval of others to be who they want to be.
If she wants to be a writer, she writes.
She doesn’t wait for someone else to call her one before she can start.
10. Keep a Level Head
When a situation gets tense – someone is being irrational with their demands, or there’s a financial crisis – a classy woman can keep herself together.
She understands that if everyone else starts being consumed by anxiety, then the problem will never be solved.
It’s never classy to lose control of one’s temper and to lash out at someone or start breaking objects out of frustration.
You may never see a classy woman crack; in high pressure situations or if she’s being doubted from all sides, she focuses on what she can control and looks for solutions.
11. Speak Thoughtfully
When someone gets angry, it’s more likely for them to say something they don’t mean.
They might accidentally insult someone they care about, cross the line with their actions or words, or begin swearing like sailors.
This is something you would rarely ever see a classy woman do.
Before arguing with someone, a classy woman carefully thinks through what she’s going to say. Instead of hurling an insult immediately, she listens to what the other person is saying.
She tries to understand them. That way, she knows how to have a civil conversation with the person without having to raise her voice.
12. Be Accountable
Classy women are people too.
That means that they’re prone to making mistakes.
If a woman owns up to her mistakes, gives a genuine apology, and improves her behavior going forward, she could be considered a classy person.
Being accountable can often be difficult.
No one wants to be known as the person that slipped up.
But that’s what makes them so classy: they have the courage to be vulnerable in front of someone, to show their own imperfection and that they still have much to learn.
13. Remember Your Manners Always
Often, when we become comfortable with someone, we tend to forget our manners a little more.
We might be having dinner with friends when we find ourselves putting our elbows on the table, loudly talking and laughing while we chew our food.
Classy women tend to be more mindful of these kinds of behaviors.
If they’re spending time with their friends, they may want to show the most respect to them, so they might remember their manners even more intensely than with strangers.
They also never forget to show their gratitude to the people that have helped them in their lives, and say “Please” when asking for something.
14. Find a Refreshing Hobby
One of the traits of classy women is that they always seem to be doing something.
You may never find her zoning out in front of the TV, binging on another shallow piece of media.
Instead, she might be off doing something that excites her and refreshes her soul.
She may paint or go hiking. She could dance or play tennis.
These recreational activities are important to her lifestyle because they tend to get her away from all the work and busyness of daily life.
In fact, research has shown that leisure activities have positive benefits such as improved mental and emotional health.
Playing by the Rules
Keeping these rules in mind when you interact with other people will help you elevate yourself from the crowd.
Don’t feel discouraged if at one point you do end up losing your temper or running late for a meeting.
These things happen; deep down, classy women are imperfect too, no matter what you think about them.
What sets them apart is they avoid getting too discouraged when they make a mistake.
Instead of wallowing in regret, they might instead use it as a valuable lesson to improve themselves going forward.
They don’t get hung up over it; they move on.
So if you have a moment of inelegance, don’t be too hard on yourself. You can always try again.
Is your relationship classy too?
You don’t need a boyfriend or husband, but who isn’t happier in a loving relationship?
I briefly mentioned the hero instinct above.
What I didn’t share is that triggering this instinct is the difference between a relationship soaring off to new heights, or fizzling out (like so many relationships do)
So, are you ready to take action?
Watch this free video from James Bauer, a leading relationship expert who was the first one to coin this term.
You will learn all about this amazing new concept, and exactly what you can do to trigger it in your man.
The hero instinct really is the best-kept secret in relationship psychology and the key to male commitment.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,