11 rules every confident introvert lives by to find success

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For the most part, introversion is misunderstood as a personality type that’s mostly shy, reserved, and quiet.

This gives people the impression that introverted leaders are meek and unambitious.

In reality, introverts already have the requisite skills critical to succeeding.

With a proclivity for problem-solving, introspection, and decision-making, introverts easily adapt to their environments and buckle down to do what needs to be done.

But even with this set of skills, introverts lack some qualities that could take them farther.

The good news is these skills can be easily practiced by observing these rules for introvert-friendly success.

Here are 11 rules every quiet introvert follows to find success:

1) Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help

One of the most natural things in the world to an introvert is doing everything by yourself.

After all, the last thing you want to do is pester other people for help.

Firstly, you’re probably too introverted to sum up the courage to talk to them in the first place, and secondly, after a lifetime of self-sustainability, you probably already know how to do it yourself.

But successful, confident introverts understand the value other people bring to the table.

No matter how capable and self-reliant you may be, you’re never going to be the full package (or close to it).

Learn how to let other people help you, even if it doesn’t feel right at first, and soon you’ll be progressing at a rate you never thought possible.

2) Ignore the Need To Make Things Perfect

Whereas extroverts are generally reckless, carefree, and quick to wrap things up, introverts are the opposite:

They like studying and perfecting every aspect of a project before they put their final seal of approval on it.

This is one of the first instincts you need to drown out if you want to find true success as an introvert.

Not everything needs to be absolutely perfect, or else you’ll spend way too much time on every little detail.

Give yourself the permission to say, “This is good enough. Let’s move on.”

And it’s not about sacrificing your quality; it’s simply about learning how to let go more efficiently.

3) Remember That Nobody Really Cares About You

Introverts tend to get lost in their own heads more often than not.

They end up overthinking and overanalyzing, even if the situation doesn’t really call for it.

As a shy introvert, you probably hate getting in front of a crowd or even going to any crowded place, because you think that everyone is secretly judging you.

But here’s the truth: no one cares.

You could be in a mall full of a thousand people, and barely anyone will give you a second glance.

No one really cares about what you’re doing or who you are, so give yourself the freedom to do what you want to do.

4) Consciously Take Control of Your Life Choices

As an introvert, ask yourself: when was the last time you made a significant, radical decision in your life that maybe didn’t seem the best idea at the time?

It’s probably been a while (if ever).

The main difference between extroverts and introverts is that extroverts tend to control their life with active choices, while introverts tend to let the world move their life for them.

And that’s not a bad thing; it’s just your natural instinct to sit back and see what happens.

But success will never fall in your lap.

If you really want to have a successful life, you need to start making decisions for yourself, rather than just letting things happen to you.

5) Don’t Confuse Introversion With Shyness

Introverts tend to find themselves in the middle of a big crowd and think, “Oh god, I’m so nervous, I can’t do anything.”

But the main holdup that many introverts have is that they’ve associated their introversion with shyness.

Here’s the life hack – just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you’re also shy.

Introversion is a part of who you are, but shyness is something you can work on, every single day.

So put yourself out there and train the muscle that turns you from shy to confident.

You can still be the introvert you love being, without letting your fear of everything around you hold you back.

6) Learn What You Can From The Extroverts Around You

Amazing socialization skills don’t come naturally to everyone, not even the most captivating extroverts.

Charm, authenticity, and social graces are a combination of skill and practice.

Even the most awkward, people-averse introverts can learn how to be skilled negotiators and eloquent speakers with enough attention to detail.

Luckily, that’s a distinct advantage that introverted people already have.

Use your sharp observation skills to learn how your extrovert friends do in crowds.

Use that as an opportunity to learn how extroverts in your life navigate social situations.

How do they ease the tension? How do they avoid it in the first place? How do they structure conversations to make them flow easily?

Even without that inherent instinct for socialization, you can develop a sense of what makes good conversation and understand what makes people feel at ease.

7) Prepare Your Thinking in Advance

Never get caught empty-handed in conversations by preparing your thoughts in advance. Networking with entrepreneurs?

Going to a dinner party with possible partners? Preparation is the key.

Especially if you’re looking to connect with someone specific, doing your research early and understanding who your audience is can help you nail your conversations a lot easier.

When you prepare thoughts and ideas beforehand, it’ll be much easier to get ahead of your colleagues and deliver your thoughts with confidence, precisely because you’ve practiced saying these before.

Practicing what you want to say and how you want to convey your thoughts beforehand doesn’t make you any less authentic.

If anything, nailing the delivery and feeling confident is bound to help you feel more at ease.

8) Engage At Your Own Pace

Confidence is knowing you don’t have to laugh at every joke or dish out an opinion every single time you open your mouth.

Instead of trying so hard to maintain visibility in social situations, you have trust in your social capital and know that active participation isn’t the only way to leave an impression or cultivate genuine relationships.

Sometimes the pauses and the lulls are just as important as the actual conversations.

The more you try to force yourself to engage or “play nice” when you’re not feeling it, the more disengaged and ingenuine you’ll come off.

It’s pretty easy to see when people are just pretending to be curious.

So savor the conversations, take a step back when you want to, and engage at your own pace.

9) Make A Habit Of Rehearsing Meetings

People respond to leaders who are confident and steadfast.

If you’re not particularly sure how to get there, you can build your confidence by simulating conversations, meetings, and negotiations with friends or yourself.

Most people feel self-conscious about the sound of their own voice and may even become acutely aware of their conversational tics.

Lower the risk of being flustered at the moment by being aware of these things.

Go over the flow of the meeting with a friend so you can hear what these thoughts sound like outside your head.

Being able to say these things in a risk-free environment can help you slow down and really reflect on what you want to say, and take the time to improve weak or ambiguous points in your argument.

10) Always Leave Time to Recharge

Introverts tend to have a lower stress threshold than extroverts, but that doesn’t mean your performance is any less amazing than your more social counterparts.

This proclivity for alone time and introspection is actually an invaluable thing that could help you go farther in life.

Because you’re comfortable in your own silence and stay with your thoughts, you can playback situations in your mind and recognize opportunities for improvement.

You can also use this time to check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling about what’s going on around you.

Being in touch with your needs and emotions as they evolve over time is going to infinitely boost your productivity because you’ll likely catch yourself before you burn out.

11) Don’t Force Yourself To Be An Extrovert; Just Show Who You Are As An Introvert

Introversion is something to be celebrated, not hidden away.

The sensibilities that you have naturally serve as building blocks for other skills and personality traits that could contribute to your success.

After all, there’s a reason why there are a lot of famous introverted leaders.

Introverts make natural thinkers, observers, and excellent communicators because of the very things that make them introverted.

The next time you’re unsure what rule to follow, tap into the voice inside your head and listen to your gut.

What are they telling you? Chances are, that introverted side of you already has an inkling of what to do next.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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