Being mindful of how your actions and words impact others is important. In today’s world, words are more powerful than swords. They can easily get you canceled on social media, fired from your job, and even endanger your life.
Although people in real life aren’t nearly as dramatic as social media and news would like to think they are, there are still some rude behaviors that can push people away from you.
So, let’s dive right in and see what they are.
1) Gossiping or spreading rumors
Participating in gossip erodes trust and can easily create a toxic environment, causing people to dislike and distance themselves from you to avoid being the subject of rumors.
If you’re talking about someone behind their backs, what’s stopping you from gossiping about the person you just spoke to as soon as they leave the room?
Nothing, and they know it.
That’s why this insulting behavior can and will push people away from you.
2) Making offensive comments about someone’s appearance, race, gender…
The same goes for making insensitive remarks that target someone’s appearance, race, gender, or any other personal characteristics. This creates hurtful dynamics and makes others feel not just unwelcome but offended.
The person agreeing with you isn’t any better, too, as they didn’t stop or distance themselves from your behavior.
But to other people who don’t condone this rude behavior, this will be a huge red flag to stay away from you in the future.
3) Belittling or mocking others for their beliefs, interests, or hobbies
In a similar fashion, ridiculing someone’s passions or beliefs lowers their sense of self-worth and can cause them to distance themselves from you to avoid further judgment.
No one likes to get ridiculed, especially not in public or in front of co-workers, friends, etc.
We’re all unique and different, believing in and participating in distinct activities and interests. Some of us believe in God, while others don’t. Some are vegans and vegetarians, and others aren’t.
Does that mean we should belittle the other side and even go as far as ridiculing and calling them out? Certainly not.
4) Engaging in manipulative or deceitful behavior to get your way
Manipulating others for personal gain corrupts trust and damages relationships, making people wary of interacting with you.
Passive-aggressive behavior and gaslighting are other harmful things you shouldn’t do. Yet, with so many sociopaths and psychopaths in our society, it’s no wonder this is an everyday occurrence for some.
5) Not taking responsibility for your actions
Evading responsibility and pointing fingers instead of admitting mistakes or shortcomings will also force people to distance themselves from you.
I mean, no one likes to clean up after someone, literally and figuratively, especially if the person isn’t admitting it’s their fault.
So if you have a history of not taking responsibility for your actions and you’ve noticed people not engaging with you anymore, you now know why.
6) Being condescending or patronizing
Speaking down to others is incredibly demeaning and makes them feel inferior. So if you’re doing this to people, don’t be surprised if they distance themselves to avoid further belittlement.
Here are some examples of such rude behavior:
“Oh, bless your heart. You tried your best, but let me show you how it’s really done.”
“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I’ll take care of everything.”
“I can’t believe you’re asking such a basic question. Didn’t you learn that in elementary school?”
7) Using offensive language or profanity excessively
Overusing offensive language and profanities can also create an uncomfortable and disrespectful atmosphere, making others feel unwelcome and pushing them away.
Dropping f-bombs every other word and using offensive terms for minorities doesn’t make someone cool, alternative, underground, or whatever else they think they are.
It just makes them offensive and rude and makes people think their parents didn’t raise them well.
8) Being unreliable or flaky
Many people I’ve met or worked with are incredibly unreliable or flaky to the point that they frequently break promises or commitments.
Constantly failing to follow through on responsibilities shows a lack of reliability and consideration for others, leading them to question your trustworthiness.
If you promise something, do it. If you don’t want to do it in the first place, be upfront about it.
9) Constantly complaining or being overly negative
Being consistently negative and complaining excessively easily drains the energy of those around you and makes them reluctant to spend time with you.
I’m sure you know people like this, and I certainly hope you aren’t one of them.
Constant complainers focus on issues and situations that are often insignificant and make the lives of people around them miserable too.
10) Constantly interrupting others when they’re speaking
Interrupting someone repeatedly also means you have a lack of consideration for their thoughts and can make them feel unheard and disrespected.
Tactless behavior like this should be nipped in the bud early on, but I guess some people haven’t learned their lesson as children.
11) Ignoring or disregarding someone’s feelings or opinions
When you’re dismissing someone’s emotions or viewpoints, it makes them feel invalidated and unimportant. It also makes them want to distance themselves from you if you do it repeatedly.
Think about it for a moment. What’s the point of talking to someone who doesn’t value your opinion or, even worse – thinks it’s ridiculous or laughable?
12) Ignoring or dismissing someone’s concerns when they approach you for support
Equally as annoying is dismissing people’s concerns or problems when they approach you for help or support.
It communicates a lack of empathy, understanding, and support. It also leads to feelings of frustration, isolation, and a breakdown in trust in the relationship. Who wouldn’t feel like that, right?
It’s essential to listen closely, validate their emotions, and offer empathy when someone approaches you for support. If you don’t have time, tell them you’ll help them later.
13) Being overly critical or judgmental of others
Constantly finding faults in others and expressing harsh judgments is good if you want to create an atmosphere of negativity and make people feel judged and insecure.
In any other case, it’s insulting, and people will flee from you faster than a group of seagulls when someone pulls out a bag of freshly cooked french fries.
14) Invading someone’s personal space
Personal boundaries and personal space are things people cherish. If you disregard these boundaries, you’re making them feel uncomfortable and violated, leading them to withdraw from any interactions with you.
For example, touching someone’s face, hair, or body without their permission or in a way that makes them uncomfortable, standing uncomfortably close to someone while talking, or staring at someone for an extended period.
15) Constantly boasting or bragging
Continuously emphasizing your personal achievements and successes without acknowledging others comes across as self-centered and alienates those around you.
This often turns into a competition of one-upmanship, where people always try to outdo others by sharing even more impressive achievements or experiences.
But it ultimately shows a lack of respect and empathy because you aren’t genuinely listening or showing interest in others’ experiences, as you’re preoccupied with showcasing your own achievements.
16) Speaking loudly or dominating conversations
I have a cousin that always speaks extremely loudly, shouts, and dominates all conversations. I guess he wants to be the center of attention.
But his way of communicating disrupts the natural flow of communication. It also made me feel hesitant to speak up or share my ideas.
By monopolizing conversations, people like him effectively silence the voices and ideas of others and make them feel excluded and undervalued, leading to a sense of disconnect.
I think it’s easy to grasp I’m not a fan of (t)his.
17) Not showing gratitude or appreciation
When someone helps you, and you fail to express gratitude, it can make them feel unappreciated and discourage them from offering help in the future.
In the end, why should they when you’re ungrateful anyway?
When people fail to show gratitude, they miss opportunities to deepen relationships and create a supportive and uplifting environment.
Simple acts of saying “thank you” and acknowledging others’ efforts can go a long way in improving personal connections and overall well-being.
18) Neglecting to listen actively
And lastly, we’re pushing people away when we aren’t giving someone our full attention and aren’t actively engaging in the conversation. Why? Because it makes them feel unimportant and unheard.
But active listening involves not only hearing the words but also understanding the emotions, perspectives, and needs behind them and is a crucial component of healthy relationships.
As you can see, there are far too many rude behaviors that push people away from you.
In most cases, though, using common sense and having good manners is enough, not only to have good relationships with others but to be a magnet that will attract them to you.