Isabella Chase
We all know someone who has a knack for borrowing things, but somehow, they always forget to return them.
It’s a common gripe, but have you ever wondered why certain people seem to have this habit?
There’s an intriguing connection between this behavior and specific personality traits. This is not about judging these individuals, but rather understanding why they act the way they do.
In this piece, we’re going to delve into seven key personality traits that are common among perpetual borrowers.
Keep reading if you’re curious to find out what makes these people forget to return your stuff!
1) Forgetfulness
We’ve all had those moments where we forget something important – it’s human nature. But for some people, forgetfulness is a more frequent occurrence.
Now, consider those individuals who borrow items and never return them. One of the most common personality traits you’ll find among them is heightened forgetfulness.
This isn’t to say that they’re intentionally holding onto your belongings. More often than not, they simply forget that they have something that doesn’t belong to them.
It’s a quirk that can be frustrating for the people around them, but it’s also an aspect of their personality that they may struggle to control.
So next time your friend fails to return your book, remember – it could just be their forgetful nature coming into play.
2) Lack of attention to detail
I’ll never forget my college roommate, Mark. He was always borrowing my stuff, from my textbooks to my clothes. And the funny thing was, he never seemed to remember to give them back.
Now, Mark was a great guy in a lot of ways, but his attention to detail was not his strong suit. He’d often forget meetings, misplace his belongings, and his room was always in a state of chaos.
In retrospect, it’s clear that this lack of attention to detail extended to the things he borrowed. He simply didn’t pay enough attention to remember what wasn’t his.
So, when we talk about people who borrow things and never return them, a lack of attention to detail is a common trait. These individuals might not even realize they still have your stuff because they’re not paying enough attention in the first place.
3) Procrastination
Procrastination is another trait often seen in perpetual borrowers.
It’s not that they have any intention of keeping the borrowed item forever, but they keep putting off returning it until it’s been so long, they feel awkward giving it back.
Research suggests that up to 20% of people may be chronic procrastinators, consistently delaying tasks despite knowing the negative consequences.
This habit can easily extend to borrowed items, leading to a build-up of unreturned goods. Over time, this can strain relationships and cause unnecessary conflict.
4) Disorganization
Some people don’t return things simply because they can’t keep track of them. They borrow an item, set it down somewhere, and before they know it, it’s buried under a pile of papers, stuffed in a drawer, or lost in the chaos of their home or car.
By the time they realize they still have it, too much time has passed, and returning it feels like an afterthought.
These are the people who always seem to misplace their keys, forget appointments, and scramble at the last minute to meet deadlines.
Their intentions might not be bad—they’re just constantly overwhelmed by their own clutter and lack of organization. Returning what they borrowed isn’t a priority because their whole life tends to feel like one long game of catch-up.
If this sounds familiar, it’s probably best to avoid lending them anything important. Not because they don’t care, but because you might never see it again—not out of malice, but out of sheer forgetfulness.
5) Spontaneity
Spontaneity can be a wonderful trait, leading to exciting adventures and unexpected opportunities. However, it can also contribute to a habit of borrowing and not returning.
People with a spontaneous personality often act on impulse. They might borrow something with the genuine intention of returning it promptly.
But, as they move onto their next adventure or idea, the borrowed item is quickly forgotten.
This spontaneous nature is thrilling, but when it comes to remembering to return borrowed items, it can be a bit of a downfall. So if you know a spontaneous soul who keeps forgetting to return your stuff, this might be why.
6) Lack of boundaries
Some people who frequently borrow and never return things don’t actually see it as a problem. To them, borrowing feels casual—almost like sharing—because they don’t fully recognize or respect personal boundaries.
They might assume, “What’s yours is mine,” without realizing that not everyone operates that way. Or they might just keep forgetting until the guilt of not returning it fades.
As psychology professor Robert Feldman tells The Atlantic, “There is a point at which it becomes not something that is borrowed, but something that is now part of your world. You don’t feel guilt about it, and don’t think about how you got it, about the true ownership and the source.”
This mindset is often seen in people who grew up in environments where personal space and ownership weren’t strictly defined.
Maybe they had siblings who took their stuff all the time, or parents who never emphasized the importance of returning things.
As a result, they carry this habit into adulthood, assuming that if they need something, they can just take it without much thought about when—or if—they should return it.
The tricky part is that these people don’t always mean harm. They genuinely don’t see borrowing as a big deal, which can make it frustrating when you try to set boundaries.
They might get defensive or confused when called out, saying things like, “Relax, it’s just a book,” or “I thought you didn’t need it right now.”
But at the end of the day, if someone repeatedly takes without returning, it’s a sign they don’t fully respect ownership—or they assume that your generosity has no limits.
7) Lack of responsibility
At the heart of all these traits lies a fundamental lack of responsibility.
People who consistently borrow items and fail to return them often struggle with being accountable for their actions.
They might not realize the inconvenience they cause, or they might dismiss it as unimportant.
This failure to take responsibility can extend to various areas of their lives, but it becomes particularly noticeable when they have something that doesn’t belong to them.
It’s essential to understand that this trait is often a part of their character and may require patience and clear communication to address.
Final reflections
People who habitually borrow and never return things may not always do it with bad intentions, but their behavior still speaks volumes.
Whether it’s disorganization, forgetfulness, entitlement, or a lack of boundaries, these tendencies can be frustrating—especially when you’re constantly chasing down your own belongings.
At its core, this habit often comes down to a mindset of carelessness or a disregard for how their actions affect others.
While some borrowers simply need a reminder, others may see borrowing as a one-way street, taking advantage of people who are too polite to push for their stuff back.
Setting clear expectations and boundaries is key. If someone never returns what they borrow, it’s worth reconsidering whether they should be borrowing from you in the first place.
Because at the end of the day, respect isn’t just about words—it’s about actions, even when it comes to something as simple as returning what isn’t theirs.
