I always felt insecure and unsure of myself until I embraced these 7 confidence-boosting habits

I used to second-guess everything about myself. I’d overthink conversations, doubt my decisions, and constantly compare myself to others.

It felt like confidence was something everyone else had—but not me.

For years, I thought that was just who I was: insecure, unsure, stuck in my own head. But what I didn’t realize was that confidence isn’t something you’re just born with—it’s something you can build.

Everything changed when I started practicing a few simple habits. They weren’t complicated or life-altering overnight, but little by little, they helped me trust myself—finally.

Here are the 7 confidence-boosting habits that made all the difference for me.

1. Stop obsessing over perfection

For the longest time, I thought being confident meant I had to be perfect. Perfect at my job, perfect in how I looked, perfect in how I spoke to people.

But here’s the problem: chasing perfection is exhausting—and impossible. And according to research, it negatively affects our self-esteem. 

True enough, the more I tried to be flawless, the more I felt like a failure when I inevitably fell short. It was a vicious cycle that only fed my insecurities.

What changed everything was learning to let go of this need to be perfect. Instead of aiming for “flawless,” I started focusing on being real.

Embracing mistakes, laughing at myself, and understanding that imperfections are what make us human helped me feel lighter—and way more confident.

Confidence isn’t about perfection; it’s about being okay with who you are, flaws and all.

2. Start celebrating small wins

Do you only feel “good enough” when you achieve something huge? This was how it used to be for me — I’d only feel good about myself when good things happened, like I landed a big job or hit a major milestone.

The problem is, those moments didn’t come around often, and in between, I felt like I was constantly failing.

I remember one specific day at work where I had to give a small presentation to my team. Public speaking has always made me nervous, and even though it wasn’t perfect, I got through it without freezing up or stumbling too much.

Normally, I would’ve brushed it off and focused on what I could’ve done better. But this time, I decided to give myself credit for showing up and doing my best—even if it was a small thing.

That simple shift made such a difference. By recognizing and celebrating little successes like that, I started building momentum. Those small wins stacked up over time, and with each one, my confidence grew.

It’s not just the big achievements that we should be celebrating. In fact, I’d say they aren’t actually what matter most—what does is learning to value the small steps and the growth that happens along the way.

3. Stand up straight

How you carry yourself says a lot about how you feel—even to your own brain. Your posture can actually influence your mood and confidence levels, thanks to something called “power posing.”

When you slouch or hunch over, your body signals to your mind that you’re small or uncertain. On the other hand, standing tall with your shoulders back sends the message that you’re strong and in control.

I didn’t realize how much my posture was impacting how I felt about myself until I made a conscious effort to fix it. Every time I caught myself shrinking into bad posture, I would straighten up and take a deep breath.

It felt awkward at first, but over time, it became second nature—and I noticed I started feeling more self-assured without even trying.

Sometimes confidence starts with something as simple as holding your head high and taking up space.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others

Nothing drains your confidence faster than constantly stacking yourself up against other people.

I used to scroll through social media and feel like everyone else was doing better than me—better jobs, better relationships, better everything.

It felt like no matter how hard I tried, I would never measure up.

What I eventually realized is that comparison is a losing game because you’re only ever seeing a curated version of someone else’s life. You don’t see their struggles, their doubts, or the times they’ve fallen flat on their face.

And honestly, why should their journey have anything to do with mine?

So, I made it a point to stay in my own lane. Instead of focusing on what others were doing, I started focusing on my own progress—no matter how small it seemed.

The less I compared, the more I appreciated my unique path, and the more confident I became in who I am.

You can’t build your confidence by living someone else’s life—it comes from owning your own.

5. Start speaking to yourself like a friend

I used to be my own worst critic as well. If I made a mistake or felt unsure about something, the voice in my head would tear me apart. “Why did you do that? You’re so bad at this. Everyone else has it figured out but you.”

I would never talk to a friend that way, but for some reason, I thought it was fine to treat myself like that.

One day, I caught myself mid-spiral and asked: “What if I spoke to myself the way I’d speak to someone I care about?”

That simple question changed everything. Instead of beating myself up, I started giving myself grace.

When I messed up, I’d remind myself that everyone makes mistakes. When I felt nervous or unsure, I’d tell myself, “You’ve got this—you’ve done hard things before.”

At first, it felt strange to be kind to myself, but the more I practiced, the quieter that harsh inner voice became. Now, when self-doubt creeps in, I know how to respond with encouragement instead of criticism.

The way you talk to yourself matters—because you’re always listening.

6. Allow yourself to fail

This is another habit that got in the way of my confidence. I tended to avoid anything that felt risky because I was terrified of failing.

I thought confidence came from always getting it right, so if there was even a small chance of messing up, I wouldn’t even try. But the more I played it safe, the more stuck and insecure I felt.

What finally helped me was doing the opposite of what felt natural—I stopped running from failure and started leaning into it.

Instead of seeing it as something to fear, I began looking at failure as proof that I was pushing myself and growing.

I remember signing up for a dance class even though I had zero coordination and knew I’d embarrass myself.

And you know what? I did mess up—a lot! But instead of feeling crushed, I realized it didn’t matter. No one cared how “bad” I was, and each time I stumbled, I got a little bit better.

Failing doesn’t mean you’re not good enough; it means you’re trying—and that’s where real confidence begins.

7. Say “no” more often

I used to say “yes” to everything because I thought that was what a good person did. Invitations, favors, extra work—if someone asked, I’d agree, even when I was overwhelmed or didn’t want to.

Deep down, I was afraid that saying “no” would make people think less of me or that I wasn’t enough.

But always saying “yes” came at a cost. I’d stretch myself too thin, feel resentful, and then beat myself up for not handling it all perfectly.

At some point, I realized I was prioritizing everyone else’s needs over my own—and it was draining my confidence in the process.

Learning to say “no” wasn’t easy at first, but every time I set a boundary, I noticed something surprising: people respected me more, not less.

Saying “no” to things that didn’t serve me gave me the space and energy to focus on what truly mattered, and that made me feel stronger and more in control of my life.

The most empowering thing you can do is protect your own time and energy. Once you start standing up for yourself, your confidence grows in ways you never expected.

Stop waiting to feel confident

If you’re like the old me, you probably see confidence as something you have to earn—like once you achieve enough or look a certain way, it would just show up one day.

But what I eventually learned is that confidence isn’t something you wait for; it’s something you create by taking action, even when you don’t feel ready.

The first time I spoke up in a meeting, introduced myself to someone new, or stood my ground, I didn’t feel confident—I felt terrified. But I did it anyway, and every time I pushed through that discomfort, I became a little braver.

Confidence doesn’t come first. The courage to act does. Confidence doesn’t mean never feeling scared or unsure—it means showing up anyway.

And when you do, you’ll realize that the confidence you were searching for was within you all along, just waiting to be uncovered.

Minh Tran

Minh Tran is a writer and mindfulness practitioner passionate about personal growth, self-awareness, and the science of well-being. She explores how mindfulness and modern psychology intersect to help people live with more clarity and purpose. Her writing focuses on emotional resilience, inner peace, and practical self-improvement.

People who talk to their pets like humans usually have these 7 personality traits, according to psychology

Navigating uncertainty: 7 lessons from ancient Eastern philosophy for our modern times