Roselle Umlas
Relationships are complicated, and we all make mistakes, that’s for sure. None of us are immune to relationship blunders, not even the strongest women out there!
In fact, sometimes our strength can actually work against us when it comes to matters of the heart.
Do you want to know what to look out for so you can make your strength work for you and bring out the best in you and your partner?
Read on, because in this article, I’ll tackle 10 relationship mistakes even the strongest women make. Let’s dive in!
1) Trying to fix your partner
Who hasn’t made the mistake of trying to fix their partner?
I think I speak for almost everyone when I say that it’s only natural to want to help our partners grow and become the best version of themselves.
Even strong women can fall into this trap, especially since they’re so used to being on top of things.
But in this case, our best intentions can really backfire. Because when we try to change our partners to fit our ideal image, it sends them this message – they’re not good enough as they are.
So, they’ll resent it, no matter how much we say it’s for their own good. We’ll only end up creating tension in the relationship.
After all, everyone wants to be loved and accepted for who they are!
So, do just that – accept your partner for who they are, and work together to grow and evolve as a couple. Think about how you want to be treated and treat your partner like that.
Remember, it’s not your job to fix them. You can only support and encourage them to be their best selves, and that’s the best way to make them feel loved!
That said, you should also be careful not to ignore issues that are truly concerning and should have no place in a healthy relationship.
2) Ignoring red flags
When you’re in the early stages of a relationship, it’s easy to overlook red flags and warning signs. That heady and intense feeling of falling in love can really cloud our judgment, no matter how strong we are!
I totally get it – I’ve been there and fallen hard one too many times, glossing over behavior that would prove to be unacceptable down the road.
I’m talking about things like:
- Disrespectful/controlling/overly jealous behavior
- Manipulation
- Stonewalling
- Dishonesty
…and many other issues that can really be hard to address the further into the relationship you go.
So…as deeply in love as you feel, take off those rose-colored glasses for a while. Listen to your instincts and take note of anything that gives you even the slightest hint of doubt or misgivings.
Be honest about your feelings, and don’t be afraid to address any issues early on. It’s better to have a difficult conversation now than to let things escalate and become more challenging later.
3) Playing games
This is an example of a red flag, and it can be truly damaging once you allow it in your relationship.
Manipulation, mind games, and power struggles…these can happen in any relationship. Even strong women do it sometimes because they like being in charge!
But it has no place in a healthy relationship. No matter how much you want to keep your relationship exciting, or how much you want to be in control, games are just a no-no.
Because relationships aren’t about winning or losing. It’s about teamwork. If you want your relationship to succeed, it has to be built on trust, respect, and open communication.
4) Expecting your partner to read your mind
Another trap that’s easy to fall into, even if you’re a strong woman, is that of expecting your partner to know what you’re thinking about.
Have you ever had an instance where you got mad, and your partner had no idea why? And their cluelessness made you even angrier?
Sadly, it’s an interaction that’s all too common in relationships.
We do this – even the strongest of us – because we want to feel like our partners know us so intimately that they can understand our thoughts and feelings even when we don’t say anything.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but none of us are mind-readers!
If you keep having this expectation, you’re placing an unfair burden on your partner. They’ll have to constantly anticipate your needs and desires, and this can be exhausting in the long run.
5) Not communicating effectively
Speaking of mind-reading expectations leads me to this next point…at the heart of that mistake is this one other mistake – a lack of communication.
Communication is a key element of any healthy relationship, yet it’s common for even the strongest women to struggle with it.
For instance, strong women might struggle with being vulnerable because they feel pressured to always be strong and self-sufficient.
They may also find it difficult to listen to their partner’s needs or input because they are used to making decisions on their own.
It may also be due to a difference in communication styles – strong women might be assertive or even aggressive, while their partners might be passive.
Other times, it can simply be due to a busy lifestyle that doesn’t make room for meaningful communication with our partners.
Whatever the reason, failure to communicate dooms a relationship to either end with a bang or die a slow, painful death.
6) Holding grudges
Another effect of being unable to communicate is that it leads to unresolved issues.
No matter how strong you are, if you can’t let go of past mistakes and forgive, you won’t be able to move forward.
In case you don’t know it yet, holding onto grudges can poison a relationship over time.
Studies say that the best relationships are those of couples with short memories.
What’s more, not only do they have longer and more satisfying relationships, but they’re also more likely to have longer lives!
So when you’re finding it hard to get past your partners’ mistakes, think about this – no one’s perfect.
The bottom line is – do you want to keep this person in your life? If yes, then you’ll have to forgive.
And remember, as Gandhi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
So as a strong woman, yes, you might feel too hurt sometimes, but you’ve got it in you to forgive!
7) Putting your career first
Remember when I said that communication could bog down due to a busy lifestyle? This is an example of that.
Many strong women are driven and ambitious, and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, it becomes a problem when we prioritize our careers above our relationships.
Balancing a thriving career and a fulfilling relationship can be tricky, but it’s not impossible. Here are several tips to help you nail that balance:
- Set aside time for regular check-ins and quality time with your partner
- Maintain open and honest communication
- Set boundaries around your work schedule
- Be flexible and make compromises to accommodate your partner’s needs
- Practice self-care so you can be at your best in both areas of your life
8) Neglecting self-care
If you look at the list above, you’ll find that self-care is necessary to keep your relationship healthy.
Unfortunately, it’s also one of the areas that easily gets neglected, strong woman or not. As women, it’s no secret that we often put other people’s needs before our own.
Does that sound familiar? Then you probably also know that feeling of burnout and resentment that comes when you have too much on your plate and don’t have enough me-time.
So, make yourself a priority, too. Engage in hobbies you enjoy, do meditation to stay calm and grounded, and exercise to get a healthy body and those feel-good endorphins.
Self-care isn’t selfish; when you take care of yourself, you show up at your best for your partner, too. It’s a win-win scenario!
9) Being too independent
It’s pretty impressive when a woman can hold her own in any situation. Independence is always a valuable trait!
But when you’re too independent, your relationship could suffer. It could lead to a lack of compromise and emotional connection, leaving your partner feeling isolated and lonely.
I’ll say it again – relationships are about teamwork.
They thrive when both partners rely on each other for emotional support and share responsibilities. They succeed when the dynamic is balanced and interdependent.
10) Taking your partner for granted
Finally, a common mistake in relationships that even strong women make is taking their partners for granted.
This often happens in long-term relationships. Complacency could set in, or as I mentioned earlier, busy schedules and high-stakes careers could easily lead to putting your partner’s needs on the back burner.
But it can happen even in new relationships. Strong women, in particular, may have high expectations, and this can make it difficult for them to truly appreciate their partner’s efforts and contributions.
So it’s important to recognize when you’re taking your partner for granted. Remember to show them your gratitude for the things they do. Make sure you always spend quality time together to keep the relationship strong.
When you’re always aware of keeping the dynamic balanced, you can make your strength and independence work for the good of your relationship!
