If you want your relationship to last forever, say goodbye to these 7 habits

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Just like a plant needs water and sunshine to grow, your relationship needs some care too.

Sometimes, we do things that hurt our relationships without even knowing it.

If you want your love to last forever, it’s time to say goodbye to bad habits that can damage it.

Whether it’s not talking about problems, holding grudges, or being too insecure, these things can slowly harm your relationship.

Let’s talk about what to avoid and what to do to keep your love strong and healthy.

1. Stop Keeping Score

One of the most damaging habits in a relationship is keeping score.

This means tallying up who did what, when, and using it as ammunition in disagreements or to show that you’re putting in more effort than your partner.

When you keep score, you’re keeping a record of your partner’s shortcomings and mistakes.

This creates an environment of competition and resentment, rather than cooperation and love.

It’s time to say goodbye to this habit.

Instead of keeping score, focus on being a team.

Understand that both of you have strengths and weaknesses, and your relationship is about supporting each other, not competing.

When you let go of keeping score, you can focus on building a stronger bond and working together toward a happy, long-lasting relationship.

2. Avoiding Tough Conversations

We’ve all been there.

There’s something bothering you in your relationship, but you don’t want to bring it up because you’re afraid of starting a fight or hurting your partner’s feelings.

So, you brush it under the rug and hope it’ll go away on its own. But, in my experience, avoiding tough conversations can make things worse in the long run.

I remember once, my partner and I were going through a rough patch.

There were issues that had been simmering beneath the surface for weeks, but neither of us had the courage to address them.

We kept making small talk, avoiding eye contact, and pretending everything was okay.

It was like a cloud of tension was hanging over us.

Finally, one day, we decided to sit down and have an honest conversation about what was bothering us.

It wasn’t easy, and there were tears, but it was worth it.

We cleared the air, understood each other better, and came out of it with a stronger bond.

So, if there’s something on your mind, don’t shy away from talking about it.

Open communication is key to understanding and supporting each other.

It might be uncomfortable at first, but it’s better to address issues head-on than to let them fester and potentially damage your relationship. Trust me, it’s worth it.

3. Trying to Solve All of Your Partner’s Problems

At first glance, trying to solve your partner’s problems might seem like a loving thing to do.

After all, you care about them and want to see them happy and stress-free.

However, this can be a counterintuitive habit that might actually be harming your relationship more than helping it.

Here’s the thing: we all face challenges and go through tough times.

Sometimes, we need to struggle a little to grow, learn, and become stronger.

When you swoop in and try to fix everything for your partner, you’re taking away their chance to learn and grow from their experiences.

It might even make them feel like you don’t believe in their abilities to handle their own problems.

I learned this the hard way in my own relationship.

I used to jump in and offer solutions every time my partner faced a challenge.

It wasn’t until they gently told me that they needed to handle things on their own that I realized my “helpfulness” was coming off as overbearing and untrusting.

Instead of always trying to solve their problems, I learned to simply listen, support, and let them take the lead in finding their own solutions.

So, if you find yourself constantly trying to fix things for your partner, take a step back.

Allow them to face their challenges and come up with their own solutions.

Trust in their abilities, be there for them when they need support, and remember that it’s okay to let them struggle a little—it’s part of their personal growth journey.

4. Holding Grudges

When you’re in a relationship, disagreements and arguments are inevitable.

But one thing you should avoid at all costs is holding grudges.

It’s easy to hold onto resentment and anger after a fight, but doing so only hurts you and your relationship in the long run.

I’ve seen firsthand how grudges can tear apart even the most loving relationships.

A close friend of mine had a habit of holding onto every little mistake her partner made.

It got to the point where they couldn’t have a simple conversation without her bringing up past grievances.

Their relationship became a battlefield, and eventually, it collapsed under the weight of all the unresolved anger.

If you want your relationship to last forever, you need to let go of grudges.

Remember that everyone makes mistakes, including you.

When your partner apologizes and makes amends, forgive them and move on.

Holding onto anger only poisons your relationship and keeps you from experiencing the joy and love that come from genuinely letting go and forgiving.

So, be honest about your feelings, express your hurt, and then make a conscious choice to forgive and move forward.

Your relationship will be healthier and stronger for it.

5. Not Making Time for Each Other

In today’s busy world, it’s easy to get caught up in work, social commitments, and other responsibilities.

But if you want your relationship to last forever, it’s important to make time for each other.

I remember a time when my partner and I were both swamped with work, and we hardly saw each other for weeks.

We were both stressed and exhausted, and it felt like we were drifting apart.

So, we decided to set aside one evening a week as “us time,” where we would put away our phones, forget about work, and just spend quality time together.

It didn’t matter what we did, as long as we were together.

Sometimes we’d go out for dinner, other times we’d watch a movie at home, or simply talk and catch up.

Making time for each other made a huge difference in our relationship.

It allowed us to reconnect, and it felt like a breath of fresh air in our busy lives.

We both felt valued, loved, and appreciated, and it brought us closer together.

So, no matter how hectic life gets, make sure to prioritize your relationship.

Set aside time for each other, whether it’s a weekly date night, a regular phone call, or simply sitting down for a meal together.

Making time for each other shows that you value and cherish your relationship, and it helps keep the connection between you strong and healthy.

6. Always Putting Your Partner’s Needs Before Your Own

On the surface, it might seem like a good thing to always prioritize your partner’s needs over your own.

After all, isn’t that what loving someone is all about?

However, consistently putting your partner first at the expense of your own needs can actually be harmful to both you and your relationship.

Here’s why: when you consistently put your partner’s needs before your own, you might start feeling unfulfilled, resentful, or even burned out.

Over time, these feelings can build up and create tension in your relationship.

You might start feeling like your partner doesn’t appreciate or understand you, or that you’re not getting as much out of the relationship as you’re putting in.

I know this from experience. I used to always put my partner’s needs before my own, thinking that was the right thing to do.

But over time, I started feeling unappreciated and drained. I realized that I had to take care of myself too, and that meant sometimes prioritizing my own needs.

The truth is, a healthy relationship requires balance.

It’s essential to take care of your partner and show them love and support, but it’s equally important to take care of yourself and make sure your needs are met.

That doesn’t mean being selfish or neglecting your partner, but it does mean finding a balance that works for both of you.

So, if you find yourself always putting your partner first, take a step back and evaluate your own needs.

Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to communicate your needs to your partner.

A healthy relationship is built on mutual love, support, and understanding, and that means taking care of both yourself and your partner.

7. Relying on Your Partner for Your Happiness

It’s natural to feel happy when you’re with someone you love, but it’s important to remember that your happiness should not solely depend on your partner.

It might sound counterintuitive, but a strong, lasting relationship requires two individuals who can find happiness independently of each other.

When you rely on your partner for all of your happiness, you put a tremendous amount of pressure on them and the relationship.

Your partner might start feeling overwhelmed, and they may struggle to meet your emotional needs consistently. This can lead to frustration, disappointment, and resentment on both sides.

I’ve been in a situation where I depended on my partner for my happiness.

At first, it felt great to be so intertwined, but over time, it became draining for both of us.

I realized I had lost touch with my own interests and hobbies, and I was putting too much pressure on my partner to fill that void.

So, I started taking time for myself, pursuing my own interests, and reconnecting with friends. It was incredible how much it improved our relationship.

I felt more fulfilled and happier on my own, which took the pressure off my partner and allowed us to enjoy our time together even more.

If you find yourself relying on your partner for your happiness, take some time to rediscover yourself.

Pursue activities that make you happy, spend time with friends, and learn to enjoy your own company.

When you can find happiness independently, your relationship will become stronger and more balanced, and you’ll both be able to enjoy the time you spend together even more.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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